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求大神指点我的自我介绍

作者 monatelee
来源: 小木虫 350 7 举报帖子
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非常有幸去参加某大学的夏令营活动,要求有个英文版的自我介绍。我写了写,跪求大神指点指点,比如长短、内容等不合适的地方

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  • a673803

    原来你是河北邯郸的呀 哈哈

  • fjtony163

    额 你这是要口头介绍 还是要书面的? 如果是口语那就没关系 不过书面的话这个全文语法问题不是一般的多 要改还不如重写 大学四六级不考作文么

  • mac194

    引用回帖:
    5楼: Originally posted by monatelee at 2015-07-19 00:44:07
    口头的,四六级考作文,虽然都过了,但作文分比较低。虽然是口头的,也希望大神指点指点语法错误,总归是有益的
    ...

    Hello, my name is ___

      It's certainly been a pleasure meeting you all here

      My hometown is Handan, a city __方向__ of Beijing, a city rich in history as it was once the capital of Zhao, one of seven Waring States some 260 years before Christ
      (秦始皇之前诸候纷纷自称为王, 王国 = kingdom)

      (下两句话不需改)

      The Internet of Things refers to a soon-to-be fact of life whereby web-enabled "smart" appliances routinely talk to one another

        (下一句话不需改)  ( ... = 不需改)

      ... I'm a funny girl
      
      I live by the motto "..." so I work very hard in college...

      I learned well and won Second Prize when the national University Students "Challenge Cup" contest was held at my school.

      My goal is becoming a graduate student in one of China's prestigious universities

      I enjoy traveling in my spare time...

      However, this is my first time to southern China, specifically Hangzhou...

      I like being with friends and reminiscing our happy and sad moments together.

      My roommates are always surprised how many friends say "Hello" to me while we wall through campus

      I hope to be fast friends with all of you


      That’s all, thank you very much

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