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a05376013

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[交流] 托福生死大战在即，作文急需提高，独立一篇，真心恳请各路高手给予点评。

As population increasing, more and more habitats of animals are cultivated for crops or exploited to set up buildings. Arguing for saving land for animals are those who hold the opinion that maintaining diversity of species in nature is beneficial for integral ecosystem. I definitely agree with the standpoint and will examine below several special reasons for it according to which I believe are the most common viewpoints nowadays.

To start with, excessive exploitation of land for human need will generate a series of environmental problems. For instance, area covered by forest is being replaced by buildings along with enlargement of the city. As a result, tens of thousands of people die from lung cancer because air quality declines a lot in large cities such as Beijing and Shanghai due to lacking of ample vegetation for purifying atmosphere contaminated by human activities, industrial production and automobile exhaust being dominating pollution sources. However, the fact is that problem like this not just exists in single city but dose in most cities around China.

Another crucial reason is that numerous animals lose their habitats used for cultivation and migrate to other areas resulting that extinction of some species breaks ecological balance in certain area. For example, in my hometown, many lands are raised commercial crops such as corns, wheat and rice for promoting local economical development. However, people don't acquire expected harvest since there are grievous injuries to crops because of plentiful pests without their predator such as birds. In addition, farm chemicals are noxious and endanger animal surviving which is another essential aspect of disappearance of species.

Admittedly, I cannot overlook the fact that the more population there are, the more land people need. Increasing consumption of energy everyday demands more power plants for electricity, more factories for oil and coal, and more farms for grains .etc. However, social development should not be at the expense of destroying nature which, in the long term, also has negative influence on human beings. I consider the problem is able to be resolved by improving efficiency of usage of energy and increasing grain yield.

In a nutshell, environmental protection should be put in the first place all the time while people utilize land for extending cities and farms. Living in harmonious with nature is the sole way for people for sustainable development. Is there anyone liking to see the dim sky without any birds and muddy rivers with rare fish?

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1楼 2011-12-28 23:16:39

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phyweiw

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a05376013(金币+1):谢谢参与

就点评第一句吧，As population increases,或者with the increasing population, 或者With the increase in population.

more and more 换成a growing number吧？前者太俗了。
cultivated前加个invaded吧，生动点。
set up buildings换成for the use of human residence.更直接点。

呵呵，吹毛求疵了。