24小时热门版块排行榜    

查看: 1283  |  回复: 11

zhangwen3059

木虫 (正式写手)

[求助] 请英语达人批改作文(考研八股文,)

目前正在准英语模板,自己写了一篇,模仿了不少句式,但不知道自己还有哪些地方
存在毛病,往英语达人,批点,建议。是去年考研的一篇看图作文。

     In spite of ‘endless talk of environment protection’,our world of nature is sill suffering pollutions,As we can see from the picture,while on a exciting tour with her boyfriend,a ‘beautiful’ girl pours a great number of things-such as fish-bones,banana peel and empty beer bottes,together with other junk-into a lake. Without being conscious that she is changing a ‘beautiful’ lake into a ‘dirty’ one,she enjoys herself thoroughly during the especially pleasant journey.
      Many people find such distasteful movements which are harmful to environment we live totally unacceptable. Yet in real life,through scientists in one wave after another try to awaken us to the growing threat of environmental degradation,most of us do little to improve the already overburdened nature resource.Moreover,our society now attaches so much emphasis on economic growth that few attentions are paid to the environment protection . Meanwhile,poor managements are set up for the protection of nature resource.
      The ecological system is ruining,and the development of economic is not far behind . To serve as responsible stewards of the planet,we must press forward on strengthening the average man’s awareness of environment protection.But awareness alone is inadequate,action should be followed. There is no doubt that if we could look after our earth as a baby,a wonderful nature full of fresh air,clean water would be presented in a few years.

[ Last edited by zhangwen3059 on 2011-11-17 at 18:42 ]
回复此楼

» 本帖@通知

» 猜你喜欢

» 本主题相关商家推荐: (我也要在这里推广)

» 本主题相关价值贴推荐,对您同样有帮助:

算了,罢了,你以为我是闹剧也好,你以为我是幸福也好,关上门,各自有各自的幸福和眼泪。
已阅   回复此楼   关注TA 给TA发消息 送TA红花 TA的回帖

古可ぷ

荣誉版主 (文坛精英)

优秀区长优秀版主优秀版主

表示压力大\(^o^)/~
请专家来吧
非吾小天下,才高而已;非吾纵古今,时赋而已;非吾睨九州,宏观而已;三非焉罪?无梦至胜
2楼2011-11-17 19:53:38
已阅   回复此楼   关注TA 给TA发消息 送TA红花 TA的回帖

古可ぷ

荣誉版主 (文坛精英)

优秀区长优秀版主优秀版主

请各位专家评一下吧
非吾小天下,才高而已;非吾纵古今,时赋而已;非吾睨九州,宏观而已;三非焉罪?无梦至胜
3楼2011-11-17 19:55:17
已阅   回复此楼   关注TA 给TA发消息 送TA红花 TA的回帖

mjlyxm

银虫 (文坛精英)

【答案】应助回帖


ailing2023(金币+1): 感谢应助\(^o^)/~ 2011-11-17 21:36:46
zhangwen3059(金币+1): 我想把3)中movemens改成behaviors,是否会好点? 2011-11-18 18:00:30
1)首先,瓶子是bottle不是botte
2)a ‘beautiful’ girl pours a great number of things-such as fish-bones,banana peel and empty beer bottes,together with other junk-into a lake我觉得可以改为a ‘beautiful’ girl is pouring a great deal of rubbish into a lake,such as fish-bones,banana peel,empty beer bottles and so on.
3)Many people find such distasteful movements which are harmful to the environment we live in totally is unacceptable.
此号弃用
4楼2011-11-17 21:16:47
已阅   回复此楼   关注TA 给TA发消息 送TA红花 TA的回帖

aman1987

荣誉版主 (文坛精英)

听雨&梦梦

优秀版主

呃,好长啊,我先瞅瞅~~
播下一种境界,收获一种心态,播下一种心态,收获一种性格,播下一种性格,收获一种行为,播下一种行为,收获一种命运。播下一种命运,收获一种结果。
5楼2011-11-17 21:17:01
已阅   回复此楼   关注TA 给TA发消息 送TA红花 TA的回帖

梦中的童话

新虫 (初入文坛)

【答案】应助回帖

★ ★ ★ ★ ★
古可ぷ(金币-5): 广告贴,严厉打击,绝不手软,请慎重 2011-11-18 18:22:19
古可ぷ:编辑内容 2011-11-18 18:22
广告贴

[ Last edited by 古可ぷ on 2011-11-18 at 18:22 ]
6楼2011-11-18 13:33:36
已阅   回复此楼   关注TA 给TA发消息 送TA红花 TA的回帖

mjlyxm

银虫 (文坛精英)

引用回帖:
4楼: Originally posted by mjlyxm at 2011-11-17 21:16:47:
1)首先,瓶子是bottle不是botte
2)a ‘beautiful’ girl pours a great number of things-such as fish-bones,banana peel and empty beer bottes,together with other junk-into a lake我觉得可以改为a ‘bea ...

是的,behaviors要好些~~
此号弃用
7楼2011-11-18 18:17:21
已阅   回复此楼   关注TA 给TA发消息 送TA红花 TA的回帖

mjlyxm

银虫 (文坛精英)

【答案】应助回帖

1)Yet in real life后面的是though,不是through吧~~
try改成have always been trying要好些
2)后一句的already还是去掉吧,感觉有点怪,overburdened后面是ed,代表已经是过去的事了,不需要再添加一个already
3)"自然资源"翻译为natural resources
4)环境的保护是environmental protection
此号弃用
8楼2011-11-18 18:30:56
已阅   回复此楼   关注TA 给TA发消息 送TA红花 TA的回帖

mjlyxm

银虫 (文坛精英)

【答案】应助回帖

zhangwen3059(金币+1): 2011-11-20 11:48:49
1)The ecological system is ruining改为is being ruined
2)最后一句的presented改为present
此号弃用
9楼2011-11-18 18:35:48
已阅   回复此楼   关注TA 给TA发消息 送TA红花 TA的回帖

fjtony163

版主 (文坛精英)

米米

优秀版主优秀版主优秀版主优秀版主优秀版主

【答案】应助回帖

zhangwen3059(金币+1): 2011-11-20 11:48:22
拼写错误太多,就暂时不谈了。
最后一段不错,没什么想改的。

Without being conscious that (。。。)改为conscious about that。

Many people find such distasteful movements which are harmful to the environment we live in totally is unacceptable.使用形式宾语,find 后加it is unacceptable that blah blah。。。。

这个不是SCI论文,少用被动语态。 段落层次太差,最好加些关联词。
10楼2011-11-20 09:55:09
已阅   回复此楼   关注TA 给TA发消息 送TA红花 TA的回帖
相关版块跳转 我要订阅楼主 zhangwen3059 的主题更新
最具人气热帖推荐 [查看全部] 作者 回/看 最后发表
[考研] 283求调剂 +8 小楼。 2026-03-12 11/550 2026-03-16 09:46 by 无际的草原
[考研] 321求调剂 +4 大米饭! 2026-03-15 4/200 2026-03-16 08:41 by Linda Hu
[考研] 085600材料与化工 求调剂 +12 enenenhui 2026-03-13 13/650 2026-03-16 08:30 by Linda Hu
[考研] 一志愿985,本科211,0817化学工程与技术319求调剂 +4 Liwangman 2026-03-15 4/200 2026-03-16 08:01 by wang_dand
[考研] 中科院材料273求调剂 +3 yzydy 2026-03-15 3/150 2026-03-15 21:15 by ms629
[考研] 材料专硕326求调剂 +4 墨煜姒莘 2026-03-15 4/200 2026-03-15 11:02 by dyw
[考研] 309求调剂 +4 花与叶@ 2026-03-10 4/200 2026-03-14 21:26 by a不易
[考研] 一志愿哈工大材料324分求调剂 +5 闫旭东 2026-03-14 5/250 2026-03-14 14:53 by 木瓜膏
[考研] 0703化学调剂 +4 快乐的香蕉 2026-03-11 4/200 2026-03-13 22:41 by JourneyLucky
[考研] 一志愿中科院,化学方向,295求调剂 +4 一氧二氮 2026-03-11 4/200 2026-03-13 22:35 by JourneyLucky
[考研] 求材料调剂 +5 隔壁陈先生 2026-03-12 5/250 2026-03-13 22:03 by 星空星月
[考研] 333求调剂 +3 球球古力 2026-03-11 3/150 2026-03-13 21:27 by JourneyLucky
[考研] 求调剂 +3 程雨杭 2026-03-12 3/150 2026-03-13 15:06 by JourneyLucky
[考研] 一志愿华中师范071000,325求调剂 +5 RuitingC 2026-03-12 5/250 2026-03-13 10:43 by hyswxzs
[考博] 2026年博士申请 +3 QwQwQW10 2026-03-11 3/150 2026-03-12 17:58 by gxch43
[考研] 420求调剂 +4 莫向外求11 2026-03-10 6/300 2026-03-12 14:41 by ruiyingmiao
[考博] 读博申请 +5 感dd 2026-03-10 7/350 2026-03-11 17:02 by QGZDSYS
[考研] 一志愿江南大学085701环境工程专硕总分287求调剂 +5 18266118446 2026-03-09 5/250 2026-03-11 16:51 by 2020015
[考研] 一志愿:武汉理工,材料工程,英二数二 总分314 +3 2202020125 2026-03-10 4/200 2026-03-10 13:54 by xiongyaxuan
[考研] 294 英二数二物化 求调剂 +6 米饭团不好吃 2026-03-09 6/300 2026-03-09 23:55 by barlinike
信息提示
请填处理意见