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zhangwen3059

木虫 (正式写手)

[求助] 请英语达人批改作文(考研八股文,)

目前正在准英语模板,自己写了一篇,模仿了不少句式,但不知道自己还有哪些地方
存在毛病,往英语达人,批点,建议。是去年考研的一篇看图作文。

     In spite of ‘endless talk of environment protection’,our world of nature is sill suffering pollutions,As we can see from the picture,while on a exciting tour with her boyfriend,a ‘beautiful’ girl pours a great number of things-such as fish-bones,banana peel and empty beer bottes,together with other junk-into a lake. Without being conscious that she is changing a ‘beautiful’ lake into a ‘dirty’ one,she enjoys herself thoroughly during the especially pleasant journey.
      Many people find such distasteful movements which are harmful to environment we live totally unacceptable. Yet in real life,through scientists in one wave after another try to awaken us to the growing threat of environmental degradation,most of us do little to improve the already overburdened nature resource.Moreover,our society now attaches so much emphasis on economic growth that few attentions are paid to the environment protection . Meanwhile,poor managements are set up for the protection of nature resource.
      The ecological system is ruining,and the development of economic is not far behind . To serve as responsible stewards of the planet,we must press forward on strengthening the average man’s awareness of environment protection.But awareness alone is inadequate,action should be followed. There is no doubt that if we could look after our earth as a baby,a wonderful nature full of fresh air,clean water would be presented in a few years.

[ Last edited by zhangwen3059 on 2011-11-17 at 18:42 ]
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算了,罢了,你以为我是闹剧也好,你以为我是幸福也好,关上门,各自有各自的幸福和眼泪。
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zhangwen3059

木虫 (正式写手)

引用回帖:
10楼: Originally posted by fjtony163 at 2011-11-20 09:55:09:
拼写错误太多,就暂时不谈了。
最后一段不错,没什么想改的。

Without being conscious that (。。。)改为conscious about that。

Many people find such distasteful movements which are harmful to t ...

您好。
Without being conscious that
这个结构是NCE3 A lovable eccentric 里面的,好像用在这里还是通顺的吧?

原文是:True eccentrics never deliberately set out to draw attention to themselves,they disregard social conventions without being conscious that they are doing anything extraordinary.
算了,罢了,你以为我是闹剧也好,你以为我是幸福也好,关上门,各自有各自的幸福和眼泪。
11楼2011-11-20 12:15:37
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