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759986494

金虫 (著名写手)

[求助] 求改句子?????

Soil contaminated by heavy metals has been became an extremely serious environmental problem and directly threat to human health as well as to ecosystems。老板说这个 句子后半段不平衡? 这儿:threat to human health as well as to ecosystems,但是我感觉是平衡的呀,求改呀,谢谢。
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stingdhk

铁杆木虫 (著名写手)

【答案】应助回帖

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感谢参与,应助指数 +1
759986494: 金币+5, ★★★很有帮助 2013-11-26 08:38:27
1)has been became 这样用对吗?个人认为用has become就可以
2)后半句threat 的主语是什么呢 是不是应该和前面时态一致呢,还有threat有动词意思吗?
Soil contaminated by heavy metals has become an extremely serious environmental problem ,which directly threatens to human health as well as to ecosystems。供参考
2楼2013-11-21 10:04:15
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befair

铁杆木虫 (正式写手)

【答案】应助回帖

感谢参与,应助指数 +1
同意2楼的修改意见,但是threaten后面不能加to,两种选择:
1. which directly  threatens human health as well as ecosystems
2. which directly poses a threat to human health as well as ecosystems
建议
Befairorbeaware
3楼2013-11-21 13:56:14
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myIDname

木虫 (著名写手)

人民大会堂首席清洁工

【答案】应助回帖

1. 重金属污染是否可表达成 heavy-metal contamination in soil?这样表达主语是contamination

2. 删掉became

2. 或者用not only, but also 句式表达
我们这里有勇敢的人民/荜路蓝缕以启山林/我们这里有无穷的生命/水牛稻米香蕉玉兰花
4楼2013-11-26 02:55:12
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