| 查看: 984 | 回复: 10 | ||
[交流]
diary 已有4人参与
|
|
3.11 Today is Saturday .I felt very happy because the weather is sunny!yeah! I got up at nearly 8:00 and then I went to the library. On the weeks, there are too many classes .so I really cherish the weekend time that controlled by myself. I could do what I want to do. Firstly I complete a paper for my second TEM4 test. please do not laugh at me, I hadn’t past the TEM4 at the first time for I only got 56 .Next time I promise myself to get over 60 grades, just fighting ! Umm…maybe we can skim the period that how I threaded my way in the crowd and struggled for my meal in the dining hall. And the afternoon, I went the bathroom to have a shower. I felt very comfortable. I looked my own face in the mirror and suddenly found that I am also a pretty girl ….he he….. it has been said that a person’s appearance in the mirror is more beautiful than what it is …. At the night, I still went to the library and did some work of remembering the vocabulary. I was satisfied with my fest … So I decided to go back at 9:00 pm.. Ps: any mistakes, you can point me out .and let us to get progress together! |
回复此楼
ldd54127
金虫 (正式写手)
- 应助: 8 (幼儿园)
- 金币: 1310.7
- 帖子: 401
- 在线: 97.9小时
- 虫号: 1537141
- 注册: 2011-12-14
- 性别: MM
- 专业: 药物化学
2楼2012-03-10 22:32:57
古可ぷ
荣誉版主 (文坛精英)
- 外语EPI: 10
- 应助: 91 (初中生)
- 贵宾: 16.835
- 金币: 19237.1
- 散金: 40372
- 红花: 275
- 沙发: 183
- 帖子: 25406
- 在线: 1082.3小时
- 虫号: 1034379
- 注册: 2010-06-02
- 性别: GG
- 专业: 药物设计与药物信息
- 管辖: 导师招生
★ ★ ★ ★
小木虫(金币+0.5):给个红包，谢谢回帖
ailing2023(金币+3): thank you for your careful appraise, it is very helpful 2012-03-11 09:36:02
小木虫(金币+0.5):给个红包，谢谢回帖
ailing2023(金币+3): thank you for your careful appraise, it is very helpful 2012-03-11 09:36:02
|
【i thought there were some errors in your writing，i have recomposed some parts 。tomorrow i will going to recompose your essay】 Today is Saturday .I feel very happy because the weather is sunny!yeah! so I really cherish the weekend time which is controlled by myself. Firstly I have completed a paper for my second TEM4 test.（已经完成，用have done表示主动，如果是表被动就是：the second tem4 test have been completed） I hadn’t past the TEM4 at the first time and what was worse that I only got 56。 I promise that i will get over 60 grades in next time, just fighting ! |
3楼2012-03-11 00:06:27
古可ぷ
荣誉版主 (文坛精英)
- 外语EPI: 10
- 应助: 91 (初中生)
- 贵宾: 16.835
- 金币: 19237.1
- 散金: 40372
- 红花: 275
- 沙发: 183
- 帖子: 25406
- 在线: 1082.3小时
- 虫号: 1034379
- 注册: 2010-06-02
- 性别: GG
- 专业: 药物设计与药物信息
- 管辖: 导师招生
4楼2012-03-11 16:27:33
5楼2012-03-11 20:03:15
古可ぷ
荣誉版主 (文坛精英)
- 外语EPI: 10
- 应助: 91 (初中生)
- 贵宾: 16.835
- 金币: 19237.1
- 散金: 40372
- 红花: 275
- 沙发: 183
- 帖子: 25406
- 在线: 1082.3小时
- 虫号: 1034379
- 注册: 2010-06-02
- 性别: GG
- 专业: 药物设计与药物信息
- 管辖: 导师招生
6楼2012-03-11 20:09:18
7楼2012-03-11 20:15:37
古可ぷ
荣誉版主 (文坛精英)
- 外语EPI: 10
- 应助: 91 (初中生)
- 贵宾: 16.835
- 金币: 19237.1
- 散金: 40372
- 红花: 275
- 沙发: 183
- 帖子: 25406
- 在线: 1082.3小时
- 虫号: 1034379
- 注册: 2010-06-02
- 性别: GG
- 专业: 药物设计与药物信息
- 管辖: 导师招生
8楼2012-03-11 20:23:21
kay。。。 9楼2012-03-11 20:36:51
phu_grassman
荣誉版主 (知名作家)
快乐岛、布吉岛岛主
- 应助: 7 (幼儿园)
- 贵宾: 1.392
- 金币: 7538.7
- 散金: 11599
- 红花: 107
- 沙发: 11
- 帖子: 5611
- 在线: 1480.2小时
- 虫号: 1151372
- 注册: 2010-11-20
- 专业: 电化学
- 管辖: English Cafe
★
小木虫(金币+0.5): 给个红包，谢谢回帖
小木虫(金币+0.5): 给个红包，谢谢回帖
|
I felt very happy because the weather is sunny! 前后时态不一致 On the weeks表达不当，建议in the weekdays weekend time改为weekends，后面的定语从句成分不完全，which I can make good use of myself. I could do中，could 为can complete 用finish比较好 I hadn’t past the TEM4 at the first time for I only got 56 .句中有过去的时间状语，要用过去时态，I didn't pass the TEM4 in the first time 后面一句中，把时间状语next time放在句子后面，over 60 grades，似乎不太同，a remark over 60吧。Just fighting！ skim the period是skip how... ... In the afternoon went to the bathroom looked at my face At night 或in the night/evening, remembering用reciting 9:00pm改为21:00pm 指出错误point them out， let后面用省to的不定式 进步make progress 只是凭语感，可能也存在错误，请指正。  |
10楼2012-03-11 21:15:15
