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夏海深蓝

金虫 (正式写手)

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3.11
Today is Saturday .I felt very happy because the weather is sunny!yeah!
I got up at nearly 8:00 and then I went to the library. On the weeks, there are too many classes .so I really cherish the weekend time that controlled by myself. I could do what I want to do. Firstly I complete a paper for my second TEM4 test. please do not laugh at me, I hadn’t past the TEM4 at the first time for I only got 56 .Next time I promise myself to get over 60 grades, just fighting !
Umm…maybe we can skim the period that how I threaded my way in the crowd and struggled for my meal in the dining hall.
And the afternoon, I went the bathroom to have a shower. I felt very comfortable. I looked my own face in the mirror and suddenly found that I am also a pretty girl ….he he….. it has been said that a person’s appearance in the mirror is more beautiful than what it is ….
At the night, I still went to the library and did some work of remembering the vocabulary. I was satisfied with my fest …
So I decided to go back at 9:00 pm..
Ps: any mistakes, you can point me out .and let us to get progress together!
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小木虫(金币+0.5): 给个红包,谢谢回帖

I felt very happy because the weather is sunny! 前后时态不一致
On the weeks表达不当,建议in the weekdays
weekend time改为weekends,后面的定语从句成分不完全,which I can make good use of myself.
I could do中,could 为can
complete 用finish比较好
I hadn’t past the TEM4 at the first time for I only got 56 .句中有过去的时间状语,要用过去时态,I didn't pass the TEM4 in the first time
后面一句中,把时间状语next time放在句子后面,over 60 grades,似乎不太同,a remark over 60吧。Just fighting!
skim the period是skip how... ...
In the afternoon
went to the bathroom
looked at my face
At night 或in the night/evening,
remembering用reciting
9:00pm改为21:00pm
指出错误point them out,
let后面用省to的不定式
进步make progress
只是凭语感,可能也存在错误,请指正。
10楼2012-03-11 21:15:15
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古可ぷ

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小木虫(金币+0.5):给个红包,谢谢回帖
ailing2023(金币+3): thank you for your careful appraise, it is very helpful 2012-03-11 09:36:02
【i thought there were some errors in your writing,i have recomposed some parts 。tomorrow i will going to recompose your essay】
Today is Saturday .I feel very happy because the weather is sunny!yeah!
so I really cherish the weekend time which is controlled by myself.
Firstly I  have completed a paper for my second TEM4 test.(已经完成,用have done表示主动,如果是表被动就是:the second tem4 test have been completed)
I hadn’t past the TEM4 at the first time and what was worse that I only got 56。
I promise that i will  get over 60 grades in next time, just fighting !
非吾小天下,才高而已;非吾纵古今,时赋而已;非吾睨九州,宏观而已;三非焉罪?无梦至胜
3楼2012-03-11 00:06:27
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古可ぷ

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谁还可以来帮改
非吾小天下,才高而已;非吾纵古今,时赋而已;非吾睨九州,宏观而已;三非焉罪?无梦至胜
4楼2012-03-11 16:27:33
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夏海深蓝

金虫 (正式写手)

引用回帖:
: Originally posted by 古可ぷ at 2012-03-11 16:27:33:
谁还可以来帮改

原来 原来 是可以用汉字的啊 有个疑问 你哪里来的表情。。。。
总有一天,我会在全中国传播英语,在全世界传播中文!
5楼2012-03-11 20:03:15
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