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（已成功应助）给小学一年级学生攒的一段简单英语,请大家帮我修改一下
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给小学一年级学生攒的一段简单英语,她要参加一个什么演讲比赛,请大家帮我修改一下,谢谢啦! 忘了告诉大家了，是一个两分钟的演讲。 What I can Do for the Olympics Beijing won the bid for the 2008 Olympics in 2001. It proves that china is getting stronger and stronger and is playing a more important part in the world sports. As a pupil, I can contribute to the Olympics in the following ways. On one hand the Olympic Games is getting increasingly nearer to us .And the language gap is still a big problem yet .but I hope I can participate in the Olympic Games as a volunteer . So I should learn English with great effort. on the other hand, More foreign friends will come to china before and during the Olympics. I hope Peking impresses them with its environment. At least I should protect environment around myself. For example, don't spit and don't litter. And I feel obliged to give some warnings to my friends. How we act is another language of us. This is what I can do for the Olympics. If everyone participate in the preparation of Olympics ,I believe that the Beijing Olympics will be the most successful one in the human history. 请版主代奖励金币： changchengd 7枚 [ Last edited by 小北1999 on 2007-1-28 at 14:53 ] |
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yalefield
金虫 (文坛精英)
老汉一枚
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2楼2007-01-28 01:56:49
dcb005
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小北1999(金币+4):谢谢！
小北1999(金币+4):谢谢！
lovesj(金币-6):应楼主要求,一共奖励您6个金币,扣6个,谢谢兄弟参与
小北1999(金币+4):谢谢！
小北1999(金币+4):谢谢！
lovesj(金币-6):应楼主要求,一共奖励您6个金币,扣6个,谢谢兄弟参与
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1.第一句应该是：What can I Do for the Olympics 2.It proves that china is getting stronger and stronger and is playing a more important part in the world sports. and 后面的is多余；a 多余 3.I hope Peking impresses them with its environment.换成短语give sb impression in 较好 4.演讲比赛，最好还有个开场白 |
3楼2007-01-28 09:27:51
dcb005
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小北1999(金币+4):谢谢！
lovesj(金币+2):谢谢兄弟参与,给2个金币,请笑纳~~常来问答版做客啊
小北1999(金币+4):谢谢！
lovesj(金币+2):谢谢兄弟参与,给2个金币,请笑纳~~常来问答版做客啊
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everyone participate in the preparation of Olympics ,I believe that the Beijing Olympics will be the most successful one in the human history. 这一句，everyone是单数的 http://en.beijing2008.cn/ 这个链接网址有关于北京2008的东西。看看，可以表达的更地道，找到新的灵感…… [ Last edited by dcb005 on 2007-1-28 at 09:36 ] |
4楼2007-01-28 09:31:17
xdkevin
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5楼2007-01-28 10:13:16
dcb005
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6楼2007-01-28 10:36:10
7楼2007-01-28 11:04:31
七月二十五
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8楼2007-01-28 12:40:52
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小北1999(金币+1):谢谢！我想给您8个金币，现在不够，先加一个，剩下的我再请版主代扣。
小北1999(金币+1):谢谢！我想给您8个金币，现在不够，先加一个，剩下的我再请版主代扣。
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1。大小写应该好好改改 2.太口语化了， 3.It proves that china is getting stronger and stronger and is playing a more important part in the world sports.这句话最好这样写：.It proves that China is getting more and more stronger and is playing a more important role in the world sports. 4On one hand the Olympic Games is getting increasingly nearer to us .And the language gap is still a big problem yet .but I hope I can participate in the Olympic Games as a volunteer . So I should learn English with great effort. 连词用的不好。 这样写：On one hand, the Olympic Games is getting increasingly nearer to us,but language gap is still a big problem. So I should learn English with great enthusiasm and I hope I can participate in the Olympic Games as a volunteer . 5.on the other hand, More foreign friends will come to china before and during the Olympics. I hope Peking impresses them with its environment. At least I should protect environment around myself. 这样写：On the other hand, Peking is a famous city in the world.more foreigner will come to china during the Olympics.So we should protect environment around ourselves and give the foreigner a good impression. For example, we should not spit and litter. At the same time,we are obliged to giving some advices to our friends.What we act is another language of us. |
9楼2007-01-28 13:52:04
whhui20006
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And the language gap is still a big problem yet .but I hope I can participate in the Olympic Games as a volunteer 建议改为Though/Although the language gap is still a big problem yet . I hope I can participate in the Olympic Games as a volunteer 似乎更地道些. So I should learn English with great effort 改为And I will learn English with great effort. 或者改为 And / At the same time I will try my best to improve my english. More foreign friends will come to china before and during the Olympics 建议改为many或者more and more foreign friends will come to china during the Olympics period. |
10楼2007-01-28 13:52:10