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小北1999

[交流] (已成功应助)给小学一年级学生攒的一段简单英语,请大家帮我修改一下

给小学一年级学生攒的一段简单英语,她要参加一个什么演讲比赛,请大家帮我修改一下,谢谢啦!  忘了告诉大家了,是一个两分钟的演讲。

                What I can Do for the Olympics
     Beijing won the bid for the 2008 Olympics in 2001.  It proves that china is getting stronger and stronger and is playing a more important part in the world sports.
     As a pupil, I can contribute to the Olympics in the following ways. On one hand the Olympic Games is getting increasingly nearer to us .And the language gap is still a big problem yet .but I hope I can participate in the Olympic Games as a volunteer . So I should learn English with great effort. on the other hand, More foreign friends will come to china before and during the Olympics. I hope Peking impresses them with its environment. At least I should protect environment around myself. For example, don't spit and don't litter. And I feel obliged to give some warnings to my friends. How we act is another language of us.
      This is what I can do for the Olympics. If everyone participate in the preparation of Olympics ,I believe that the Beijing Olympics will be the most successful one in the human history.


请版主代奖励金币:

changchengd     7枚

[ Last edited by 小北1999 on 2007-1-28 at 14:53 ]
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小北1999

咳!不是,不是,是我的错。您的第一次回复,我本想奖4分,结果自己不小心,奖了两次,还好一番麻烦了lovesj版主。
7楼2007-01-28 11:04:31
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yalefield

金虫 (文坛精英)

老汉一枚

★ ★ ★ ★ ★
lovesj(金币+1):谢谢光临,常来
小北1999(金币+4):谢谢!
(1) China, not china.
(2) Always capitalize the first letter of a sentence.
(3) If everyone participates, ...in the history. Omit 'human'.
2楼2007-01-28 01:56:49
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dcb005

金虫 (著名写手)

★ ★
小北1999(金币+4):谢谢!
小北1999(金币+4):谢谢!
lovesj(金币-6):应楼主要求,一共奖励您6个金币,扣6个,谢谢兄弟参与
1.第一句应该是:What can  I Do for the Olympics
2.It proves that china is getting stronger and stronger and is playing a more important part in the world sports.  and 后面的is多余;a 多余
3.I hope Peking impresses them with its environment.换成短语give sb impression in 较好
4.演讲比赛,最好还有个开场白
★穷则独善其身,达则兼济天下★
3楼2007-01-28 09:27:51
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dcb005

金虫 (著名写手)

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★
小北1999(金币+4):谢谢!
lovesj(金币+2):谢谢兄弟参与,给2个金币,请笑纳~~常来问答版做客啊
everyone participate in the preparation of Olympics ,I believe that the Beijing Olympics will be the most successful one in the human history.
这一句,everyone是单数的

http://en.beijing2008.cn/
这个链接网址有关于北京2008的东西。看看,可以表达的更地道,找到新的灵感……

[ Last edited by dcb005 on 2007-1-28 at 09:36 ]
★穷则独善其身,达则兼济天下★
4楼2007-01-28 09:31:17
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