[交流] Writing in the Sciences之一：Cut unnecessary words and phrases

Writing in the Sciences之一：Cut unnecessary words and phrases

各位虫友，大家好！这是专业英语版推出的新活动——Writing in the Sciences。每周推出一期。所有资料都来自斯坦福大学论文写作指导公开课。每期活动都是对课程中一个单元内容的精华提要，并给出对应的练习。欢迎大家收听哦~~~

Steps to becoming a better writer:
1. Read, pay attention, and imitate.
2. Write in a journal.
3. Let go of “academic” writing habits (deprogramming step!)
4. Talk about your research before trying to write about it.
5. Write to engage your readers—try not to bore them!
6. Stop waiting for “inspiration.”
7. Accept that writing is hard for everyone.
8. Revise. Nobody gets it perfect on the first try.
9. Learn how to cut ruthlessly. Never become too attached to your words.
10. Find a good editor!
11. Take risks.

活动说明：每期活动都会带给大家一些专业英语写作方面的建议。最后列出与本期内容相关的若干专业英语句子，请各位虫友依据每个单元的要求对句子进行修改，将结果跟帖给出~LZ会根据参考答案为大家评分，给予BB奖励~欢迎大家积极参加~~

Unit 1. Cut unnecessary words and phrases

本单元中，强调了科技文写作追求的一个目标：readable，这里它给出了一些冗长结构的表述，并给出了参考建议。

1. Dead weight words and phrases
e.g. As it is well known
As it has been shown
It can be regarded that
It should be emphasized that
2. Empty words and phrases
e.g. basic tenets of
methodologic
important
3. Long words or phrases that could be short
e.g. muscular and cardiorespiratory performance
4. Unnecessary jargon and acronyms
e.g. muscular and cardiorespiratory performance
Gliomagenesis
miR （microRNA）
5. Repetitive words or phrases
e.g.studies/examples
illustrate/demonstrate
challenges/difficulties
successful solutions
6. Adverbs
very, really, quite, basically, generally, etc.
7.A few other small tricks
① Eliminate negatives
②Eliminate superfluous uses of “there are/there is”
③Omit needless prepositions

例1：This paper provides a review of the basic tenets of cancer biology study design, using as ex amples studies that illustrate the methodologic challenges or that demonstrate successful solutions to the difficulties inherent in biological research.”
修改：This paper reviews cancer biology study design, using examples that illustrate specific challenges and solutions.

例二：As it is well known, increased athletic activity has been related to a profile of lower cardiovascular risk, lower blood pressure levels, and improved muscular and cardio-respiratory performance.
修改：Increased athletic activity is associated with lower cardiovascular risk, lower blood pressure, and improved fitness.

例三：“The experimental demonstration is the first of its kind and is a proof of principle for the concept of laser driven particle acceleration in a structure loaded vacuum.”
修改：The experiment provides the first proof of principle of laser-driven particle acceleration in a structure-loaded vacuum.

下面是练习，期待虫子们的参加~

1. Ultimately p53 guards not only against malignant transformation but also plays a role in developmental processes as diverse as aging, differentiation, and fertility.


2.An IQ test measures an individual’s abilities to perform functions that usually fall in the domains of verbal communication, reasoning, and performance on tasks that represent motor and spatial capabilities.


3.As we can see from Figure 2, if the return kinetic energy is less than 3.2 Up , there will be two electron trajectories associated with this kinetic energy.