| 查看: 456 | 回复: 3 | ||
welldone7158金虫 (正式写手)
|
[求助]
请教，大家感觉这篇作文，多少分？
|
|
I think museums refer to the place where we can study and learn local culture and history. Today our cultural identify is heavily influenced by globalization. As far as I concerned, the most important target of museums is attracting more local inhabitants. Free tickets’ advantages outweigh disadvantages. Personally, I think that cultural identify should be preserved to some extent. Free admission for local history or art museums is a necessary method to attract more people. For instance, western cultures are popular in China, especially in students. However, few of them interest in traditional culture such as calligraphy which represents our particular art. Consequently, they are more likely to participate in a western singer’s performance rather than visit a local museum. Furthermore, the museums are freely opened to local individuals since individual pays tax. It is general believe that the original function of museums is to serve the public and provide places for people to relax and learn. Charging is opposite the authorities’ function of public service and disturbs our wellbeing society. In spite of that, free admission of all museums costs a great deal of money to the government, since there are a lot of demands on tax revenue. By that I mean the government prefers to fund researches rather than give free tickets for the sake of social development. In my opinion, culture possesses similar importance as modern technology in terms of society developing. Those people who are against this opinion fail to realize the significance of cultural value. As a result, free admission of museums dramatically benefits local residents and society alike and must be made available. |
回复此楼» 猜你喜欢
导师想让我从独立一作变成了共一第一
已经有9人回复
-
博士读完未来一定会好吗
已经有23人回复
-
到新单位后，换了新的研究方向，没有团队，持续积累2区以上论文，能申请到面上吗
已经有11人回复
-
读博
已经有4人回复
-
JMPT 期刊投稿流程
已经有4人回复
-
心脉受损
已经有5人回复
-
Springer期刊投稿求助
已经有4人回复
-
小论文投稿
已经有3人回复
-
申请2026年博士
已经有6人回复
» 本主题相关价值贴推荐，对您同样有帮助:
请问大家这种情况下修改后的论文还会回到这位审稿人手中吗
已经有6人回复- 请教大家关于投稿通讯作者的问题
已经有13人回复
- 问大家一个问题啊
已经有5人回复
- 上海交大考博作文题目头忘记写会扣多少分？求经验者说说
已经有7人回复
- 华东理工大学的一篇论文，感觉有疑问，特向大家请教
已经有36人回复
- 终审 审回来 请教大家
已经有6人回复
- [代问]大家觉得CRC Press写书值得吗？谢谢
已经有7人回复
- 进一步请教大家，审稿人要求增加实验数据，不知怎么办
已经有5人回复
- 【交流】博士英语分数线一般多少啊？作文有限制多少分吗？
已经有10人回复
- 【求助】文章8月26号前必须修回，有几个问题请教大家。
已经有35人回复
- proof校对，问大家几个版面费的问题
已经有17人回复
huangwg08
木虫 (著名写手)
- 飞跃EPI: 9
- 应助: 13 (小学生)
- 贵宾: 0.06
- 金币: 1112.4
- 散金: 1346
- 红花: 108
- 沙发: 1
- 帖子: 1801
- 在线: 653.3小时
- 虫号: 1105845
- 注册: 2010-09-23
- 性别: GG
- 专业: 岩土力学与岩土工程
【答案】应助回帖
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
welldone7158: 金币+5, ★★★★★最佳答案, 太感谢了 2012-08-30 18:51:02
welldone7158: 金币+5, ★★★★★最佳答案, 太感谢了 2012-08-30 18:51:02
|
我不知道文章的题目是什么，不知道是G的作文还是T or I的作文，英文不同考试的作文文风会有一定差异。例外老外一般会要求Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer"但是本文的example明显develop的不够，主题有些涣散，结构不是太清楚，可以在这方面做些提高。 下面是我的一点修改意见，仅供参考，不当之处还请海涵！ 祝你成功！ I think museums refer to the place where we can study and learn local culture and history. Today our cultural identify is heavily influenced by globalization. As far as I (am) concerned, the most important target of museums is attracting more local inhabitants. Free tickets’ advantages outweigh (its) disadvantages. Personally, I think that cultural identify should be preserved to some extent. Free admission for local history or art museums is a necessary method to attract more people. For instance, western cultures are popular in China, especially in students. However, few of them interest in traditional culture such as calligraphy which represents our particular art. Consequently, they are more likely to participate in a western singer’s performance rather than visit a local museum. (这段的大体意思应该是Free admission can greatly encourage local habitants to appreciate the traditional culture,你应该把这话话放在段落的首句，使文章结构显得明显。你如果写I think that cultural identify should be preserved to some extent，会让人误以为•••另外，你的例子可以更充分的展开说，你后面的例子基本上是比较武断性的判断，你重点放在说现在的people普遍哈西了，有些偏题，你如果举些history or art museums如何使人增加历史或艺术的素养或知识，会更好一些。) Furthermore, the museums are freely opened to local individuals since individual pays tax（逻辑上说不通，你写成museums should be opened free to the visitors, since it is those people who pay the tax，and museum is built for public interest会略好些）. It is general believe that the original function of museums is to serve the public and provide places for people to relax and learn. Charging is opposite the authorities’ function of public service and disturbs our wellbeing society. In spite of that, free admission of all museums costs a great deal of money to the government, since there are a lot of demands on tax revenue. By that I mean the government prefers to fund researches rather than give free tickets for the sake of social development. (这段话是啥意思？你如果支持museum should be free to public的话，应该说，admittedly, building and maintaining the museum would cost government a great deal of money, but this is worth to be done since it can greatly boost the general welfare.而且你的文章如果采用这种结构的话，建议把“Admittedly承然”放在手段，然后是“However但是”，“What is more而且”•••这样逻辑显得很好看) In my opinion, culture possesses similar importance as modern technology in terms of society developing. Those people who are against this opinion fail to realize the significance of cultural value. As a result, free admission of museums dramatically benefits local residents and society alike and must be made available. |
welldone71582楼2012-08-30 16:22:00
welldone7158
金虫 (正式写手)
- 应助: 9 (幼儿园)
- 金币: 2943.9
- 散金: 265
- 帖子: 414
- 在线: 270.3小时
- 虫号: 676705
- 注册: 2008-12-18
- 性别: GG
- 专业: 凝聚态物性I:结构、力学和
3楼2012-08-30 18:57:39
huangwg08
木虫 (著名写手)
- 飞跃EPI: 9
- 应助: 13 (小学生)
- 贵宾: 0.06
- 金币: 1112.4
- 散金: 1346
- 红花: 108
- 沙发: 1
- 帖子: 1801
- 在线: 653.3小时
- 虫号: 1105845
- 注册: 2010-09-23
- 性别: GG
- 专业: 岩土力学与岩土工程
4楼2012-08-30 21:46:53