| 查看: 2021 | 回复: 12 | |||
[交流]
【咨询】第三篇toefl作文，欢迎大家点评。
|
|||
|
作文题目：Some students prefer to study alone. Others prefer to study with a group of students. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. Several days ago, when my classmates and I were preparing the test of IBT, I found the truth that different ones did make different choices between studying alone and studying together. Those students who tend to study by themselves suppose independence and the circumstance free of interruption is the key point to improve the efficiency of study. Remarkable though the advantages are, I believe, they can not compete with the benefits which are obtained from reciprocal help and encouragement in a study group, when we consider the difficulty of subjects we study. First of all, never do I reckon knowledge is easy to gain, and the advantage of teamwork to surmount handicaps is apparent. Therefore I prefer to dealing with issues of study with others. When I was a freshman, mathematic was a deadly weak point of me and then I took part in a mathematic group in my university. Discussions of elusive subjects as well as the merits of each other were helpful for me to comprehend those mathematic principles and refine my learning method. Eventually, not only did I pass the final exam, but also got an award in a mathematic compete. It would be incredible if I did without mutual help. Moreover, the mental incentives from the other ones is a crucial aspect for a person to be succeed, and naturally the success in study is not a exception. For instance, when someones encounter some setbacks in study such as failure in routine tests and lack of time to carry on, and hesitate over the choice between holding on or giving up their subject, their classmates with them will probably encourage them to recover self-confidence and give them some constructive advice. Admittedly, striving for knowledge alone means less bother from surrounding and more opportunity to form independent attitude. There are also a lot of examples of great persons that they achieve goals of lives just by self-study such as Abraham Lincoln. However, people like Lincoln are the minority of society, and it is obviously difficult to copy his achievement by common people just like us. And what is more, I deem Lincoln would initiate his political career without many setbacks resulted from lack of education, if he had more chances to study with others. As far as I know, a increasing number of students are aware of that the advantages of group study overweight those of study alone and choose to join some interest groups for mutual aid in study. Coincident with the opinion of many people is my heartfelt agreement with the idea that students should study together with classmates. [ Last edited by keyares on 2010-11-20 at 16:30 ] |
回复此楼» 猜你喜欢
AI 太可怕了，写基金时，提出想法，直接生成的文字比自己想得深远，还有科学性
已经有11人回复
-
天津大学招2026.09的博士生，欢迎大家推荐交流（博导是本人）
已经有11人回复
-
表哥与省会女结婚，父母去帮带孩子被省会女气回家生重病了
已经有9人回复
-
同年申请2项不同项目，第1个项目里不写第2个项目的信息，可以吗
已经有10人回复
-
依托企业入选了国家启明计划青年人才。有无高校可以引进的。
已经有11人回复
-
依托企业入选了国家启明计划青年人才。有无高校可以引进的。
已经有11人回复
» 本主题相关价值贴推荐，对您同样有帮助:
- 托福生死大战在即，作文急需提高，独立一篇，真心恳请各路高手给予点评。
已经有10人回复
- 老托福 450篇6分作文，可以拿着参考。（已搜索，无重复）
已经有67人回复
- 美国留学求定位，GRE1510/3.5,ToEFL110,GPA3.44,英文论文一篇二作，普通211本科
已经有13人回复
- 【咨询】第二篇托福作文，重金求改。
已经有4人回复
» 抢金币啦！回帖就可以得到:
-
医学超声影像负责人招聘-中国科学院赣江创新研究院
+1/979
-
西湖大学2026年秋季入学物理学、光学、电子信息方向博士生有名额速来！！！
+2/252
-
澳洲西澳大学Dr Yiran Liu招全额奖学金和CSC奖学金博士生（3.8万澳币/年）
+1/105
-
哈工大医康学院材料模拟计算方向人才招聘
+1/78
-
好玩的不敢搞，能搞的不挣钱，能挣钱的我不会做
+1/67
-
香港中文大学医学院 诚聘 研究助理教授 (医工结合/生物信息学方向)
+1/36
-
北京工业大学化生学院青年教师或“青年优秀人才”招聘启事
+1/35
-
澳大利亚麦考瑞大学(Macquarie University)国际博士硕士全额奖学金-计算机-26年中开学
+1/34
-
同济大学脑机智能团队脑机接口方向招生招聘
+1/30
-
上海交大药学院侯四化课题组招收2名2026年秋季入学申请-考核制博士生
+1/26
-
澳大利亚麦考瑞大学(Macquarie University)国际博士硕士全额奖学金-计算机-26年中开学
+1/16
-
中科院深圳先进技术研究院招聘免疫及计算生物学方向博士后、科研助理或联培学生
+1/10
-
中国科学技术大学环境系招生
+1/9
-
哈工大（深圳）国家级青年人才 钟颖教授课题组 新增26级博士名额！欢迎报名！
+1/9
-
都放假了嘛？
+1/7
-
广东省环境科学研究院招聘高分辨质谱方向博士一名
+1/6
-
澳科大药诚招2026年秋季药剂学/生物材料硕士研究生
+1/4
-
广东工业大学马琳教授课题组招收2026年博士（材料物理与化学、光学专业）
+1/4
-
澳科大药学院诚招2026年秋季药剂学/生物材料硕士研究生（2026年3月5日报名截止）
+1/4
-
太原理工大学集成电路学院院长团队招收2026年博士研究生
+1/2
2楼2010-11-19 20:32:33
3楼2010-11-19 21:59:57
4楼2010-11-19 22:03:18
zhengchenx 
禁虫 (著名写手)
keyares(金币+10):thanks！ 2010-11-19 23:03:14
|
本帖内容被屏蔽 |
5楼2010-11-19 22:36:34
keyares(金币+15): 2010-11-20 15:24:57
|
只看了第一段 楼主英文功底还不错 但写作习惯和技巧还需要改善 when I and my classmates were 改成my classmates and I 后面也是 I要放在别人后面 These students who tend to studying 中these改成those， studying改成study I believe, they can not compete with the benefits that I and my partners can obtain reciprocal help and encouragement from each other, when we consider the difficulty of subjects we study.这句很有问题 I和my partners换位，that从句建议改成compete with the reciprocal benefits that my partners and I can obtain from group study, especially when the subjects are quite difficult. ps 我雅思作文7.5，GRE作文5分 楼主应该可以信赖 呵呵 [ Last edited by fengchi on 2010-11-20 at 12:12 ] |
6楼2010-11-20 12:10:33
7楼2010-11-20 12:27:56
keyares(金币+125): 2010-11-20 15:25:11
既傻又憨:有兴趣的话可以申请一下版主或者专家顾问！ 2010-11-21 05:52:42
既傻又憨:有兴趣的话可以申请一下版主或者专家顾问！ 2010-11-21 05:52:42
|
作文题目：Some students prefer to study alone. Others prefer to study with a group of students. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. Several days ago, when I and my classmates(印象中my classmates and I 比较合理) were preparing the test of IBT, I found the truth that different ones did make different choices between studying alone and studying together. These students who tend to studying(study) by themselves suppose independence and the circumstance free of interruption is the key point to improve the efficiency of study. Remarkable though the advantages are, I believe, they can not compete with the benefits that I and my partners（同上） can obtain reciprocal help and encouragement from each other, when we consider the difficulty of subjects we study（可以用considering。。。状语）. 第一段长进很大，不多说了，基本就这个套路。 First of all, never do I reckon knowledge is easy to gain, and therefore I prefer to dealing with issues of study with others.（注意逻辑连贯性。你的：因为knowledge难，所以我喜欢with others。老美会觉得匪夷所思的。 为啥不是： 因为teamwork让knowledge变得更容易，所以我喜欢teamwork。这样看起来direct多了。） The advantage of teamwork to surmount handicaps is apparent. When I was a freshman, mathematic was a deadly weak point of me and then I took part in a mathematic group in my university. Discussions of elusive subjects as well as the merits of each other were helpful for me to comprehend those mathematic principles and refine my learning method. Eventually, not only did I pass the final exam, but also got an award in a mathematic compete（competition）. 这段例子其实不够具体。你可以说你们遇到什么难题，怎么解决的，然后说这就是group study的好处，这样更好些。控制在两三个长句子里。之后来一句总结。 Moreover, the mental incentives from the other ones is（are） a crucial aspect for a person to be succeed, and naturally the success in study is not a exception. For instance, when someones（someone没有复数的，这词） encounter some setbacks in study such as failure in routine tests and lack of time to carry on, and hesitate over the choice between holding on or giving up their subject, their classmates studying with them will probably encourage them to recover（用regain怎样）self-confidence and give them some constructive advice. 这段给我的第一感觉是，你的思维不够发散。 Admittedly, striving for knowledge alone means less bother from surrounding and more opportunity to form independent attitude. There are a lot of examples that people achieve their goals of life just by self-study such as Abraham Lincoln. However, the person（persons主谓一致） like Lincoln are the minority of society, and it is obviously difficult to copy his achievement by common people just like us. And what is more, I deem Lincoln could do his job more successfully, if he had more chances to study with others. 你这段啊，力度不够强。确实，存在这样的例子，并且你认为Lincoln如果study with others会more successful。证据呢？具体支撑点呢?~~~~~~~ 为啥不排山倒海得说说study alone 的缺点和with group的优点呢? 比如： 虽然，study alone 也有成功的例子。如林肯 但是，我觉得林肯如果study with others会更加成功。（你的说到这里就完了，对吧） 考虑到，study alone 会陷入思想片面化，不能及时接受别人好的观点，没有别人的鼓舞，没有别人的评价。 而group study的好处就多了去了，大家可以及时讨论以最快最有效方式解决问题。并且有psychological incentive。各种各种，自己去想。。。 所以，我觉得还是group study 好！~~~ As far as I know, there are a（an） increasing number of students who choose to join some interest group for mutual aid in study. Coincident with the opinion of many people is my heartfelt agreement with the idea that students should study together with classmates. 结尾，也许按我上次说的那种方法会显得思维全面些吧，也可以给你考场节省很多时间 当然，你务必要形成一个属于自己的写作习惯。考场里就是争分夺秒的战役啊，我记得我当时居然敲了532个字，没来的及检查。平时检查也检查不出什么名堂，所以。。。吼吼。，。。平时也要练一练检查，放到文本文档里看吧。 这篇文章已经很不错啦，你真的很厉害，就三篇练到这个程度了，加油吧，前途大好~~~ 吼吼~~~ 细节有待雕琢，逻辑有待加强，表达有待更清楚明了，有些句子可能可以复杂化反而让老外觉得很费解的。 O(∩_∩)O~ 加油~ |
9楼2010-11-20 13:25:33
10楼2010-11-20 13:43:58
11楼2010-11-20 16:23:26
12楼2010-11-27 22:30:24
13楼2010-11-29 11:03:13
简单回复
2010-11-20 12:46
回复
keyares(金币+3): 2010-11-20 15:20:18
祝福祝福