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陆续贴出自己的考博作文练习,希望大家能讨论,帮助! 十个金币
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05年10月中科院A卷作文: what does work mean to you? it is a just a means to make ends meet, to cover life enpenses? 我的作文: 用时近一个小时,因为是复习考博以来的第一篇作文 所以很艰难! 完事开头难! what does work mean to you? Two main kings of answers have been offered. One is couched in terms of realism. they argue that it is just a means to make ends meet, to cover life enpenses. The other, in my view correct, type fo answer is that it is a way to realize one's dream and the source of happiness. To me, a college teacher, I teach students knoeledge and gain happiness from them. 第一段,要去接孩子了,后续会上第二段,第三段。 PS 一大把年纪了还要考博,悲催啊!!! |
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小木虫: 金币+0.5, 给个红包,谢谢回帖
moxiang: 金币+2 2012-12-18 19:54:35
小木虫: 金币+0.5, 给个红包,谢谢回帖
moxiang: 金币+2 2012-12-18 19:54:35
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今天下午比较闲,再加上我这个人比较好为人师,点评一下楼主的作文: 第一段我读的不是很懂,我觉得楼主应该用更加流畅的常用的句式,里面有单词应为knowledge,应该为打字手误 第二段: when I was a colledge(单词错误,college,不过一般用university,前者指学院,后者指综合性大学) student, my teacher once (once我觉得可以去掉,中式英语的痕迹太明显,没必要强调曾经)told me that there were three types of teachers: the first type of teachers who looked(这里为什么要用过去式呢,虽然是老师以前说的话,但是我觉得应该用一般现在时) teaching just (此处少一个as)a way to earn money were always ready to give up teaching to earn more; the second type looked (同上)teaching not only as (a way to get) a good salary, but as an enterprise to do(我觉得用run,后加it更贴切一些,do指做某事,run指经营,运营); the third (type) of teachers(主语) , however,who looked (同上)teaching as well as arts (定语从句修饰teachers)devoted(谓语,我觉得应该用一般现在时) their whole life(应该用复数lives) to teaching. From then on, I never forgot to be the third type (应该加一个of)teacher. And (句首用and??)I gained not only a good salary, but and (but and???)more important(things), happiness and a meaningful life. I was so exciting(应该为excited,exciting的主语应该为物或者事) when my students understood a difficult question or even more solve(前面understood是过去式,此处也应该为过去式,两个地方应该统一) it by themselves, (这个句子到这里可以点句号了,要么太长了)and I was so happy and wormful(表示看不懂,warmful?温暖的?还是小木虫版温暖的?:D) when they sent me a card on the Teacher's Day! I tought(应该为taught,tought为过去分词) them knowledge and they gave me happiness and moreover, the meaning of life. 不好意思,把楼主的作文批的体无完肤,欢迎大家拍砖~ |
4楼2012-12-18 15:31:26
2楼2012-12-17 17:40:19
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谢谢楼上的, 接着贴 第二段: when I was a colledge student, my teacher once told me that there were three types of teachers: the first type of teachers who looked teaching just a way to earn money were always ready to give up teaching to earn more; the second type looked teaching not only as a good salary, but as an enterprise to do; the third of teachers, however, who looked teaching as well as arts devoted their whole life to teaching. From then on, I never forgot to be the third type teacher. And I gained not only a good salary, but and more important, happiness and a meaningful life. I was so exciting when my students understood a difficult question or even more solve it by themselves, and I was so happy and wormful when they sent me a card on the Teacher's Day! I tought them knowledge and they gave me happiness and moreover, the meaning of life. |
3楼2012-12-18 00:54:59
5楼2012-12-18 19:45:28










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