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小木虫论坛-学术科研互动平台 » 科研生活区 » 外语学习 » 读写翻译 » 陆续贴出自己的考博作文练习，希望大家能讨论，帮助！ 十个金币
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moxiang

铜虫 (初入文坛)

[交流] 陆续贴出自己的考博作文练习，希望大家能讨论，帮助！ 十个金币

05年10月中科院A卷作文：

what does work mean to you? it is a just a means to make ends meet, to cover life enpenses?

我的作文： 用时近一个小时，因为是复习考博以来的第一篇作文 所以很艰难！ 完事开头难！

what does work mean to you？ Two main kings of answers have been offered. One is couched in terms of realism. they argue that it is just a means to make ends meet, to cover life enpenses. The other, in my view correct, type fo answer is that it is a way to realize one's dream and the source of happiness. To me, a college teacher, I teach students knoeledge and gain happiness from them.

第一段，要去接孩子了，后续会上第二段，第三段。
PS   一大把年纪了还要考博，悲催啊！！！
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1楼 2012-12-17 17:33:46
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rainyearwin

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小木虫: 金币+0.5, 给个红包，谢谢回帖
moxiang: 金币+2 2012-12-18 19:54:35
今天下午比较闲，再加上我这个人比较好为人师，点评一下楼主的作文：
第一段我读的不是很懂，我觉得楼主应该用更加流畅的常用的句式，里面有单词应为knowledge,应该为打字手误
第二段：
when I was a colledge（单词错误，college,不过一般用university,前者指学院，后者指综合性大学） student, my teacher once （once我觉得可以去掉，中式英语的痕迹太明显，没必要强调曾经）told me that there were three types of teachers: the first type of teachers who looked（这里为什么要用过去式呢，虽然是老师以前说的话，但是我觉得应该用一般现在时） teaching just （此处少一个as）a way to earn money were always ready to give up teaching to earn more; the second type looked (同上)teaching not only as （a way to get） a good salary, but as an enterprise to do(我觉得用run,后加it更贴切一些，do指做某事，run指经营，运营); the third （type） of teachers（主语） , however,who looked (同上)teaching as well as arts （定语从句修饰teachers）devoted（谓语，我觉得应该用一般现在时） their whole life(应该用复数lives) to teaching.

From then on, I never forgot to be the third type (应该加一个of)teacher. And (句首用and??)I gained not only a good salary, but and (but and???)more important(things), happiness and a meaningful life. I was so exciting(应该为excited,exciting的主语应该为物或者事) when my students understood a difficult question or even more solve（前面understood是过去式，此处也应该为过去式，两个地方应该统一） it by themselves, （这个句子到这里可以点句号了，要么太长了）and I was so happy and wormful（表示看不懂，warmful?温暖的？还是小木虫版温暖的？：D） when they sent me a card on the Teacher's Day! I tought（应该为taught,tought为过去分词） them knowledge and they gave me happiness and moreover, the meaning of life.
不好意思，把楼主的作文批的体无完肤，欢迎大家拍砖~
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4楼2012-12-18 15:31:26
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qfzcom

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小木虫: 金币+0.5, 给个红包，谢谢回帖
moxiang: 金币+1, thankd 2012-12-18 00:55:29
The othertype fo answer , in my view correct, is that it is a way to realize one's dream and the source of happiness.句型用的不错，就是写错了。其他的望在看看。
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2楼2012-12-17 17:40:19
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moxiang

铜虫 (初入文坛)
谢谢楼上的,
接着贴 第二段：

when I was a colledge student, my teacher once told me that there were three types of teachers: the first type of teachers who looked teaching just a way to earn money were always ready to give up teaching to earn more; the second type looked teaching not only as  a good salary, but as an enterprise to do; the third  of teachers, however, who looked teaching as well as arts devoted their whole life to teaching.

From then on, I never forgot to be the third type teacher. And I gained not only a good salary, but and more important, happiness and a meaningful life. I was so exciting when my students understood a difficult question or even more solve it by themselves, and I was so happy and wormful when they sent me a card on the Teacher's Day! I tought them knowledge and they gave me happiness and moreover, the meaning of life.
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3楼2012-12-18 00:54:59
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moxiang

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谢谢楼上的   学到不少 犯了很多显而易见的错误   不动手写作文很多年了  很多单词都拼错了！
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5楼2012-12-18 19:45:28
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