| 查看: 1778 | 回复: 12 | |||
[交流]
2012.12 pets5 阅读 某题全文 已有8人参与
|
|
http://www.naturalnews.com/z022437.html naturalnews.com printable article Originally published December 31 2007 RIAA Declares Using Brain to Remember Songs is Criminal Copyright Infringement (satire) by Mike Adams, the Health Ranger, NaturalNews Editor (NaturalNews Satire) On the heels of the RIAA's recent decision to criminalize consumers who rip songs from albums they've purchased to their computers (or iPods), the association has now gone one step further and declared that "remembering songs" using your brain is criminal copyright infringement. "The brain is a recording device," explained RIAA president Cary Sherman. "The act of listening is an unauthorized act of copying music to that recording device, and the act of recalling or remembering a song is unauthorized playback." The RIAA also said it would begin sending letters to tens of millions of consumers thought to be illegally remembering songs, threatening them with lawsuits if they don't settle with the RIAA by paying monetary damages. "We will aggressively pursue all copyright infringement in order to protect our industry," said Sherman. In order to avoid engaging in unauthorized copyright infringement, consumers will now be required to immediately forget everything they've just heard -- a skill already mastered by U.S. President George Bush. To aid in these memory wiping efforts, the RIAA is teaming up with Big Pharma to include free psychotropic prescription drugs with the purchase of new music albums. Consumers are advised to swallow the pills before listening to the music. The pills -- similar to the amphetamines now prescribed for ADHD -- block normal cognitive function, allowing consumers to enjoy the music in a more detached state without the risk of accidentally remembering any songs (and thereby violating copyright law). Consumers caught humming their favorite songs will be charged with a more serious crime: The public performance of a copyrighted song, for which the fines can reach over $250,000 per incident. "Humming, singing and whistling songs will not be tolerated," said Sherman. "Only listening and forgetting songs is allowed." Consumers attempting to circumvent the RIAA's new memory-wiping technology by actually remembering songs will be charged with felony crimes under provisions of the DMCA (Digital Millenium Copyright Act). The Act, passed in 1998, makes it a felony crime to circumvent copyright protection technologies. The RIAA's position is that consumers who actually use their brains while listening to music are violating the DMCA. "We would prefer that consumers stop using their brains altogether," said Sherman. With this decision, the RIAA now considers approximately 72% of the adult U.S. population to be criminals. Putting them all in prison for copyright infringement would cost U.S. taxpayers an estimated $683 billion per year -- an amount that would have to be shouldered by the remaining 28% who are not imprisoned. The RIAA believes it could cover the $683 billion tab through royalties on music sales. The problem with that? The 28% remaining adults not in prison don't buy music albums. That means album sales would plummet to nearly zero, and the U.S. government (which is already deep in debt) would have to borrow money to pay for all the prisons. And where would the borrowed money come from? China, of course: The country where music albums are openly pirated and sold for monetary gain. When asked whether he really wants 72% of the U.S. population to be imprisoned for ripping music CDs to their own brains, RIAA president Sherman shot back, "You don't support criminal behavior do you? Every person who illegally remembers a song is a criminal. We can't have criminal running free on the streets of America. It's an issue of national security." NOTE: This is a satire report on the RIAA. That means it's written as fictional humor. It does not yet represent the actual position of the RIAA, although from the way things are going, the association may soon adopt it. Permission is granted to make copies of this story, redistribute it, post it and e-mail it (please provide proper credit and URL) as long as you do not actually remember it because copying to your brain is now strictly prohibited. Any attempts to circumvent the memory-based copyright restrictions on this article will result in your brain imploding, causing such an extreme loss of cognitive function that your only hope for any future career will be running for public office. 最后一题的B选项单词是什么？ D 是humor [ Last edited by freemanxu on 2012-12-11 at 12:32 ] |
回复此楼» 猜你喜欢
材料/农业专业，07/08开头均可，过线就行
已经有4人回复
-
327求调剂
已经有5人回复
-
361求调剂
已经有3人回复
-
一志愿中南大学化学学硕0703总分337求调剂
已经有5人回复
-
一志愿北京化工大学 070300 学硕 336分 求调剂
已经有6人回复
-
材料专业求调剂
已经有10人回复
-
341求调剂(一志愿湖南大学070300)
已经有5人回复
-
0854 考研调剂 招生了！AI 方向
已经有15人回复
-
384求调剂
已经有6人回复
-
生物学学硕求调剂
已经有4人回复
» 本主题相关价值贴推荐，对您同样有帮助:
- 2012.12英语四六级最新模拟试题，每天更新ing
已经有43人回复
- [Warald美国职业谈]为PhD正名-说说phd博士就业的一些问题 （全文）
已经有21人回复
- 中级职称，青年基金2012.12月结题，现在能再申请吗
已经有3人回复
- 会议发表在advacned materials research上，但用了ansys软件，可以不？
已经有10人回复
- 四大牛人看外国文献的方法（转载,整理）
已经有178人回复
- 三大牛人看外国文献的方法（注明是转载）
已经有115人回复
- 各地对发表SCI的奖励情况
已经有67人回复
2楼2012-12-11 10:44:00
3楼2012-12-11 11:12:25
我不认识，但我选了 B satire 4楼2012-12-11 12:31:11
5楼2012-12-11 13:12:36
dongtian1982
木虫 (著名写手)
- 应助: 8 (幼儿园)
- 金币: 12357.2
- 散金: 3512
- 红花: 36
- 帖子: 2422
- 在线: 1118.5小时
- 虫号: 992658
- 注册: 2010-04-09
- 专业: 生物海洋学与海洋生物资源
6楼2012-12-11 15:21:41
 |
7楼2012-12-13 09:00:46
乐石||
木虫 (正式写手)
- 应助: 26 (小学生)
- 金币: 2416.4
- 散金: 538
- 红花: 9
- 帖子: 977
- 在线: 807.5小时
- 虫号: 1474843
- 注册: 2011-11-03
- 性别: GG
- 专业: 半导体材料
8楼2012-12-14 08:27:27
小小英雄
铁杆木虫 (正式写手)
- 应助: 1 (幼儿园)
- 金币: 6001.4
- 红花: 1
- 沙发: 1
- 帖子: 923
- 在线: 790.3小时
- 虫号: 2142599
- 注册: 2012-11-22
- 性别: GG
- 专业: 机构学与机器人
9楼2012-12-18 21:39:40
10楼2012-12-19 11:10:27
