24小时热门版块排行榜    

Znn3bq.jpeg
查看: 1074  |  回复: 4
当前只显示满足指定条件的回帖,点击这里查看本话题的所有回帖

welldone7158

金虫 (正式写手)

[求助] 求教,这篇雅思作文大家估计多少分?

题目:With the increasing use of mobile phone and computer, the number of people who write letter has decreased. As a result, letter-writing will disappear soon. Do u agree or disagree? How do you think letter-writing is important?

文章
Although mobile phone and computer have been introduced to households for decades, people still have mixed views on that. As far as I concerned, letter as a traditional communication method will be maintained rather than replaced by telecommunicating.

This is partly because that traditional hand writing-Calligraphy plays a vital role in Chinese culture. Most parents encouraged their children to participate in a Calligraphy training course when I was a student, even a science teacher highlight the importance of good hand writing. In addition, many Chinese people tend to regard good hand writing as a high social status. In extreme cases, a student with inferior hand-writing would be seriously criticized by parents. It is obvious that Calligraphy training usually combined with letter writing training.

Further, although emails or messages boost the working efficiency, they do not have the value in terms of memories. For instance, I preserved all my letters well in my room regardless of when I received and letters dramatically promote friendship. What is more that language skills in letter-writing also is used in emails especially in official emails. By that I mean language skills of letter-writing cannot disappear since it is useful and helpful in modern communications in essence.

In spite of that, it is an inescapable fact that the rate of letters we write and the amount of letters are significantly declined due to the high tempo of modern lifestyle. And the amount of letters unfortunately would be constantly decreasing according to current trend.

Overall, although we greatly benefit from computer and mobile phone, I still take the view that letters would not truly disappear in the future as letters consist of important part in culture and community
回复此楼
挨完打还不服。。。继续被打。。。
已阅   回复此楼   关注TA 给TA发消息 送TA红花 TA的回帖

nulan284

新虫 (初入文坛)

6.5 左右吧。真心觉得很不错。
可能进步空间比较大的是逻辑和idea吧。
4楼2012-12-11 08:39:34
已阅   回复此楼   关注TA 给TA发消息 送TA红花 TA的回帖
查看全部 5 个回答

fengchi

木虫 (著名写手)

【答案】应助回帖

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★
welldone7158: 金币+5, OK,跟你和楼下金币分一下 2012-11-26 08:20:52
benovence: 金币+1, 谢谢参与 2012-11-26 09:07:42
个人感觉 6-7分吧
第二三段的论证不是那么有说服力 比如 第二段说中国怎么怎么样 那其他国家呢?第三段也有一个漏洞:你可以保存信件 当然也可以保存email啊! 当然 雅思的作文也不是那么苛刻 自己言之有物 自圆其说就行
另外文章整体的语言不够出彩 模板味道稍重 前后衔接似乎也可以做得更好
个人意见 楼主勿怪
中兴业须人杰
2楼2012-11-25 22:02:53
已阅   回复此楼   关注TA 给TA发消息 送TA红花 TA的回帖

crazyvolcano

至尊木虫 (职业作家)

【答案】应助回帖

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★
welldone7158: 金币+5, 嗯嗯 2012-11-26 08:21:05
benovence: 金币+1, 谢谢参与 2012-11-26 09:07:52
感觉在5左右,首先开头段模板的味道比较重。第二段犯了个致命弱点,就是只论证了Chinese hand-writing,而文章的主题里面说的是泛指的hand-writing。这里的论证就显得太单薄了,除了Chinese hand-writing之外,难道其他的hand-writing就没有意义了吗?第三段的论证举了自己的实例,这是托福式的写法,不符合雅思写作的规范。还有就是句式比较单调,单词用得过于简单,基本没有加分词汇。还有就是逻辑上不是很紧密。
3楼2012-11-26 00:00:25
已阅   回复此楼   关注TA 给TA发消息 送TA红花 TA的回帖

welldone7158

金虫 (正式写手)

引用回帖:
4楼: Originally posted by nulan284 at 2012-12-11 08:39:34
6.5 左右吧。真心觉得很不错。
可能进步空间比较大的是逻辑和idea吧。

是6.5
挨完打还不服。。。继续被打。。。
5楼2012-12-11 09:58:01
已阅   回复此楼   关注TA 给TA发消息 送TA红花 TA的回帖
最具人气热帖推荐 [查看全部] 作者 回/看 最后发表
[考研] 283求调剂,工科! +4 苏打水7777 2026-04-08 4/200 2026-04-09 17:28 by vgtyfty
[考研] 一志愿矿大,材料工程专硕314分,0856可调都可以 +9 无懈可击的巨人 2026-04-09 9/450 2026-04-09 16:57 by luoyongfeng
[考研] 299求调剂 +6 ZVVZ13 2026-04-08 6/300 2026-04-09 15:48 by wp06
[考研] 招收有机化学、化工,药学,食品灯专业学生 +3 yrfhjgdj 2026-04-08 3/150 2026-04-09 10:15 by QYQX_123
[考研] 0702物理学学硕299求调剂 +5 祁柒连 2026-04-06 5/250 2026-04-09 09:27 by wj165256
[考研] 一志愿北京2,材料与化工308求调剂 +17 熊二想上岸 2026-04-04 18/900 2026-04-09 09:13 by leyan1127
[考研] 266调剂 +8 daya sun 2026-04-07 9/450 2026-04-08 20:27 by yutian743
[考研] 326求调剂 +5 9ahye 2026-04-02 6/300 2026-04-07 21:37 by lijunpoly
[考研] 一志愿西南090202求调剂 +4 在线求有学上 2026-04-07 4/200 2026-04-07 19:47 by biomichael
[考研] 本科生物信息学,总分362 求07 08调剂 +6 q小倩1210 2026-04-06 6/300 2026-04-07 19:40 by macy2011
[考研] 081700学硕,323分,一志愿中国海洋大学求调剂学校 +19 披星河 2026-04-04 19/950 2026-04-07 15:00 by 上岸快快
[硕博家园] 0856材料化工求调剂,一志愿211,初试成绩349 +4 江淮北月 2026-04-05 4/200 2026-04-06 22:44 by chenzhimin
[考研] 071000生物学调剂 +7 拉提桃 2026-04-06 7/350 2026-04-06 18:55 by 52305043001
[考研] 求助 +3 卡卡东88 2026-04-06 4/200 2026-04-06 15:28 by going home
[考研] 一志愿北京交通大学材料工程总分358求调剂 +4 cs0106 2026-04-04 4/200 2026-04-05 18:46 by imissbao
[考研] 288求调剂 一志愿哈工大 材料与化工 +13 洛神哥哥 2026-04-03 13/650 2026-04-05 17:27 by zzx2138
[考研] 320求调剂 +3 一样圆 2026-04-04 3/150 2026-04-04 22:29 by 啵啵啵0119
[考研] 调剂0855-288 +5 x熊二a 2026-04-03 5/250 2026-04-04 00:19 by 猪会飞
[考研] 学硕288调剂!!! +3 小王xw123 2026-04-03 3/150 2026-04-03 21:20 by 啵啵啵0119
[考研] 312求调剂 +4 赊月色 2026-04-02 5/250 2026-04-03 08:21 by fangshan711
信息提示
请填处理意见