24小时热门版块排行榜    

CyRhmU.jpeg
查看: 598  |  回复: 3

welldone7158

金虫 (正式写手)

[求助] 请问,雅思作文,大家说这篇能得多少分呢?

It is a highly charged issue that whether or not advertising encourage us to be similar in terms of appearances and behaviors. To a large extent, I am of the opinion that people are heavily influenced by advertisements.

Currently, advertisements have a profound effect on people lifestyles. By that I mean, advertising significantly develops individuals' lives into one model. Clearly, advertisements put the latest cutting-edge technology products in touch with the young target consumers. Then, the young people would constantly pursue the same and highest technology commodity. The example of Iphone aptly illustrates this point. Further, advertising promote the fashion tide in the particular year. Of course the person probably pursues clothes in similar fashion style which is led by advertisements. In essence, the fashion industry profit from changing the tide of fashion. In addition, advertising dramatically develop people’s trust on a special brand. People are more likely to buy the series’ products as they give a priority of this brand. As a result, people tend to be same as the advertisements displayed.

In spite of that, I take the view that humans have their own desires and abilities to lead their own lives. Although we share similar clothes and products, the differences among the individuals are easily realized.

I believe the main concern is that practically everyone enjoys modern lifestyle rather than suffers from it. Advertising are the most efficient and effective approach to introduce latest and best products to our lives. We, in most cases, are benefited from advertising. Therefore, it is reasonable that advertising promote us to live in a similar lifestyle.
回复此楼
挨完打还不服。。。继续被打。。。
已阅   回复此楼   关注TA 给TA发消息 送TA红花 TA的回帖

huangwg08

木虫 (著名写手)

【答案】应助回帖

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★
welldone7158: 金币+20, ★★★★★最佳答案, 非常感谢 2012-10-31 08:59:49
It is a highly charged (debated) issue that whether (or not去掉) advertising encourage us to be similar in terms of appearances and behaviors (or not). To a large extent, I am of (hold) the opinion that people are heavily influenced by advertisements.

Currently, advertisements have a profound effect (influence) on people (individuals’) lifestyles. By saying that I mean, advertising significantly develops individuals' lives into one model. Clearly, advertisements put the latest cutting-edge technology products in touch with the young target consumers (advertisements make young target consumers get the access to the latest cutting-edge technology). Then, the young people would constantly pursue the same and highest technology commodity. The example of iphone aptly illustrates this point. Further, advertising promote the fashion tide in the particular year. Of course the person probably pursues clothes in similar fashion style which is led by advertisements. In essence, the fashion industry profit from changing the tide of fashion. In addition, advertising dramatically develop people’s trust on a special brand. People are more likely to buy the series’ products as they give a priority of this brand. As a result, people tend to be same as the advertisements displayed.

In spite of that, I take the view that humans have their own desires and abilities to lead their own lives. Although we share similar clothes and products, the differences among the individuals are easily realized.

I believe the main concern is that practically everyone enjoys modern lifestyle rather than suffers from it. Advertising are the most efficient and effective approach to introduce latest and best products to our lives. We, in most cases, are benefited from advertising. Therefore, it is reasonable that advertising promote us to live in a similar lifestyle.

1,词汇用得有些复杂了,不过有些用得不是很准确,这方便有待进一步加强!
2,不要只阐述观点。每一段尽量只阐述一个观点(而不是观点的堆积),然后用例子充分展开和解释。段与段之间的逻辑关系要清楚,以便读者理解和接受。
3,以后上传作文时尽量把作文题目也帖上,这样才能判断你是否偏题了。
4,小姨的那本书很好,好好吃透!看得出来你很用功了,用了不少里边的词。
加油!祝成功!
天行健,君子以自强不息;地势坤,君子以厚德载物。
2楼2012-10-30 22:22:10
已阅   回复此楼   关注TA 给TA发消息 送TA红花 TA的回帖

huangwg08

木虫 (著名写手)

分数的话,这篇文章得6分可能还是有难度的,不过看你文字的功底,得6分的实力应该是有的。
天行健,君子以自强不息;地势坤,君子以厚德载物。
3楼2012-10-30 22:23:45
已阅   回复此楼   关注TA 给TA发消息 送TA红花 TA的回帖

welldone7158

金虫 (正式写手)

引用回帖:
3楼: Originally posted by huangwg08 at 2012-10-30 22:23:45
分数的话,这篇文章得6分可能还是有难度的,不过看你文字的功底,得6分的实力应该是有的。

擦,我忘了,题目就是10.27号的雅思

Advertising discourage people from becoming different individuals and look the same. do you agree or disagree?
挨完打还不服。。。继续被打。。。
4楼2012-10-31 08:59:08
已阅   回复此楼   关注TA 给TA发消息 送TA红花 TA的回帖
相关版块跳转 我要订阅楼主 welldone7158 的主题更新
信息提示
请填处理意见