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daisy_abc1

铁虫 (小有名气)

[交流] Errors

The following is a E-mail I want to send  to my English teacher, Jon. So  I hope you can help me to find out the errors and put them right. Thank you!!

Jon,
     May I call you like this? This is Daisy, yeah, that Daisy.  I'm glad to go on to study English with you. Well,to be honest, I'm a litter nervous at the beginning. Before the class I doubted that whether I could do well in the class. But when it began, the atmosphere was fine. Laughing, funny, also the pictures. I'm feeling very well. It's the first time that I strongly want to speak out in English since I began studying English. It's pretty good.
     Well, in fact, I'm very curious about your family, the way you live, the style you doing things, and the education your children get . As you said in the class, you worked very hard so that you wife could stay at home to go on home-schooling at first. Then, you two changed, your wife worked and you stay at home for home-schooling. But now, both you and your wife work. Then, how is your home-schooling going on? What about your home-schooling? And what is the home-shooling? You just teach them the book knowledge or other kinds of knowledges and skills?
        Thank you for your reading and I'm looking forward to having the next class.      
                                                                                   Yours sincerely,
                                                                                           Daisy
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holypapa

木虫 (职业作家)

Surely, you did a very good job. i do not think there are many errors in the letter. But i think  it is also a good chance for me to practice my english. So I rewrite it again and hope  it would be useful. Any comments and opinions are very welcome.  the following is my rewritted letter.

Dear Jon,
     May I call you like that? This is Daisy.  I'm glad to have this opportunity to study English with you.  Honestly, I'm feeling a litter nervous at the beginning. Before starting the class I doubted that whether I could do well in the class. But when I was having the class, I found that the atmosphere was fine. The class was full of Laughing and funny stuff, surely also, of the pictures. I'm feeling very well. It's the first time since I began studying English that I have a strong feeling I want to speak out of loud in English. It's pretty good.
     Well, in fact, I'm little curious about you and your family.Definitely I am not that kind of person who is  curious for the other's privacy .I just want to know you more. I want to konw the way you are living, the style you are doing the works, and the education your children are having. As you said in the class, you worked very hard so that you wife could stay at home to run a home-schooling business at first. Then, you two changed your charges, your wife worked and you stayed at home for home-schooling. But now, both you and your wife are working.  And by the way,what is the home-shooling? how is your home-schooling going on? Tell me something more about your home-schooling,ok? Do You just teach your students the book knowledge or other kinds of practical knowledges or living skills?
        Thank you for your time and I'm looking forward to the next class.      
                                                                                 
Yours sincerely,
                                                                                           Daisy

Aappleadaykeepsdoctoraway.
12楼2012-01-31 13:11:16
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fjtony163

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米米

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as a casual letter, u make it good to read, though it has many problems in it when it is a formal one.
5楼2011-12-01 04:17:38
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daisy_abc1

铁虫 (小有名气)

引用回帖:
5楼: Originally posted by fjtony163 at 2011-12-01 04:17:38:
as a casual letter, u make it good to read, though it has many problems in it when it is a formal one.

Thank you!
6楼2011-12-01 12:34:47
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daisy_abc1

铁虫 (小有名气)

引用回帖:
7楼: Originally posted by ljason at 2011-12-04 20:28:54:

Is there anything wrong?
8楼2011-12-05 09:13:54
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