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又个七年

木虫 (著名写手)

[求助] 求大家看下,这样的成绩和作文要不要复议

作文悲剧三次,要不要复议,求大家指点
各位大侠,小弟也有关于复议的事情请教您一下。
我最近连续考了三次雅思,都是死在悲剧的作文上,眼看这申请奖学金的日期就要截止了啊,心急死了,请大家给点建议好吗
我的三次的情况是

           听力  阅读   写作  口语   总分

7月9号     7.5      7          5.5      6        6.5
6月4号     6.5      8.5       5.5      6        6.5
4月16号    6.5      7.5       5.5      6.5     6.5
其中6月4号的已经申请复议了,也写了申请复议的信,但是结果还要20多天才出来,不知道7月9号的这次有没有希望也申请复议呢,我现在真的是心急如焚啊,十月份再拿不到成绩,就要被推迟一年了啊,我的希望就是 作文6分就够了。
7月9号的这次考试,我把当时的大作文回忆了下,写出来了,80%的内容都是一样的,个别细节可能有点出入,求大侠看看是不是跑题了,值得复议吗?
题目:There  are many animals species extinct in the world nowadays. Some people say that the countries and individuals should protect these animals from dying out, while others say we should concentrate more on problems of human beings than on those of animals. discuss both of views and give your opinion.
We are living in a world with more and more technology breakthrough and economic growth, but we are also living in a world with less and less animal specious. It is not surprising for many people arguing that we should protect the animals from dying out. However, many others believe that we should pay more attention on problems of human beings. In this essay, an endeavor is made to probe into the arguments on both sides of the issue before taking a stance.

There are many reasons for people hold the view that we should concentrate more on problems of human beings. Though recent decades have witnessed tremendous changes in the world, both developed and developing countries still face many serious threats, such as water and food shortage, environment pollution, etc. The lack of fund and social resources also limit human’s ability to address these headaches. On the other hand, some animals are of high economic values, so many of them are killed for the human profits.

Superficially, the above view sounds reasonable. But after carefully weighing in mind, we find it goes against the fact. Animals, whether they are precious, are the gift of God. They are an important part of the nature and should be treated equally. In addition, the coexistence of human kind and animals is also the requirement of a real civilization and harmonious world. Not to say that some animals are important food resource for us, for example, pigs and chicken provide meat and eggs for people.

From above analysis and discussion, I am firmly confirmed that we should make effort to protect the animals form dying out. If we continue to cast an indifferent eye on animal protection, it will functioning as cement shoes for economic growth and social development.
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zlj644

金虫 (正式写手)

【答案】应助回帖


StephenXun(金币+1): 2011-07-24 11:54:24
重新读了一遍雅思写作的评分标准,看了看楼主的作文,觉得还是不要复议了吧
Theworldisalwayschanging.Nothingstaysthesame.Butlovestandsthetestoftime.
3楼2011-07-24 11:15:26
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zlj644

金虫 (正式写手)

引用回帖:
Originally posted by sureforme at 2011-07-24 13:19:54:
不懂你的意思。我感觉框架是没问题的,可以复议一下,给个6分是合理的。

6分作文要求:
对于任务的回应
        回应题目要求,虽然有的部分涵盖不够完整
        立场切题,虽然结论可能不清晰或重复
        主要观点切题,但有的观点可能论证不够充分或不清晰
连贯与衔接
        信息和观点组织连贯;文章有延续性
        衔接手段使用有效,但是句子内部和句子之间的衔接可能有误或过于机械
        指代关系可能不能总是清晰、合理地使用
        有分段,但不总是有逻辑性
词汇资源
        使用适当范围的词汇
        试图使用较不常见词汇,但有一些不准确
        在拼写和构词法上有错误,但这些错误不至于影响交际
语法结构的范围和准确性
        能使用简单和复杂句子结构
        语法和标点出现一些错误,尽管这些错误很少导致交流障碍。

没什么意思,我就是说感觉复议提高分数的可能性不大而已
Theworldisalwayschanging.Nothingstaysthesame.Butlovestandsthetestoftime.
6楼2011-07-24 13:48:44
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zlj644

金虫 (正式写手)

引用回帖:
Originally posted by sureforme at 2011-07-24 13:51:33:
我自己的作文得了6.5 感觉不比楼主写的好多少。
再说,楼主这种情况,肯定要试试啊。

呃,我只提个建议,您要是这么觉得的话,和楼主谈谈吧,每个人的都要不同的感觉吧,毕竟都不是考官。
Theworldisalwayschanging.Nothingstaysthesame.Butlovestandsthetestoftime.
8楼2011-07-24 14:01:03
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zlj644

金虫 (正式写手)

【答案】应助回帖

又个七年(金币+4): 谢谢兄弟,我只有再考一次了~~ 2011-07-24 15:31:51
引用回帖:
Originally posted by 炰炰 at 2011-07-24 14:05:56:
Agree.
楼主极力想在用词上拔高分数;但是文章确实是没有address主题。
文章指出一部分人猎杀动物致使动物濒临灭绝,笔者不认同。
可是作文要求是说一些人大力提倡保护动物,一些人却认为应该把重点放在人类 ...

同感,扣题是个大问题,而且也没这么论述自己的观点,整个文章是散的
Theworldisalwayschanging.Nothingstaysthesame.Butlovestandsthetestoftime.
10楼2011-07-24 14:09:16
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