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dxiaoqing

捐助贵宾 (正式写手)

[求助] 帮忙修改以下英语病句

The paper takes a typical electroplating enterprise in Shenzhen, one of the most developed coastal cities of China, as the case, and analyses the difficulties of adopting CP from the enterprise’s point of view by a SD model
审稿人说这句话有毛病 我自己又不知道怎么修改才好 请高人指点

[ Last edited by dxiaoqing on 2011-7-20 at 16:05 ]

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zerohead

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dxiaoqing(金币+5, 翻译EPI+1): xiexie,把二位的意见综合了一下 2011-07-21 09:52:02
Mally89(金币+1): 感谢应助!~ 2011-07-23 21:29:29
This work took a typical electroplating enterprise as a study case, which is located in Shenzhen, one of the most developed coastal cities of China. The difficulties of adopting CP from the enterprise’s point of view was analyzed by a SD model.
2楼2011-07-20 16:47:43
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8814402

至尊木虫 (职业作家)

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Mally89(金币+1): 感谢应助!~ 2011-07-23 21:29:38
By taking a typical electroplating enterprise in Shenzhen, one of the most developed coastal cities of China, as the case, difficulties of adopting CP were analyzed from the enterprise’s point of view by a SD model in this paper.
3楼2011-07-20 16:50:06
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8814402

至尊木虫 (职业作家)

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dxiaoqing(金币+5): xiexie,把二位的意见综合了一下 2011-07-21 09:52:29
By taking a typical electroplating enterprise in Shenzhen, one of the most developed coastal cities of China, as the case, difficulties of adopting CP were analyzed from the enterprise’s point of view by a SD model in this paper.
4楼2011-07-20 16:50:30
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zerohead

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这一句的主要毛病在于原句中把 electroplating enterprise 和 as a study case 分的太开,其余的可以接受。
5楼2011-07-20 16:59:08
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8814402

至尊木虫 (职业作家)

引用回帖:
Originally posted by zerohead at 2011-07-20 16:59:08:
这一句的主要毛病在于原句中把 electroplating enterprise 和 as a study case 分的太开,其余的可以接受。

语态不合适吧?典型的中国英语
6楼2011-07-21 11:16:58
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