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econy

木虫 (职业作家)

[求助] 请帮忙修改一下这段英文,一个亲戚的小孩要参加儿童英语比赛

My favorite food I like many good food: fish 、cake、candy、milk、fruits、 egg …… I like fish,because it's beautiful and yummy (美味的;香喷喷的).I have much milk everyday.Milk is alibility. It can make me tall. I eat many kinds of fruits. They are pears, watermelons, apples, bananas, strawberries and so on. But I like strawberries best. Strawberries look beautiful and taste very nice . specially,my grandmother usually buys strawberries to me. In one word, fruits are good for our health .  But I don’t like vegetables. In future I’ll eat more and more vegetables. What do you like? Thank you!
冲动是魔鬼...
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Mally89

铁杆木虫 (职业作家)

T_T

【答案】应助回帖

econy(金币+3, 翻译EPI+1): good 2011-05-19 21:02:12
My favorite food
I like many good food: fish 、cake、candy、milk、fruits、 egg ……
I like fish,because it's (beautiful and这个去掉吧?感觉鱼用来吃好像和美丽没啥关系吧?) yummy (美味的;香喷喷的).
I (have much=drink)milk everyday. Milk is alibility(没看明白这句话要说什么). It can make me tall.
I eat many kinds of fruits (. They are=just like) pears, watermelons, apples, bananas, strawberries and so on. (s都可以去掉,减轻孩子负担,省的某个忘加了)But I like strawberries best. Strawberries look beautiful and taste very nice. (specially=especially),my grandmother usually buys strawberries (to=for) me. In (one=可以改为a,好记一些,但这样用也行) word, fruits are good for our health .  But I don’t like vegetables. (So)In future I’ll eat more and more vegetables. What do you like? Thank you!
还有一点儿,lz没有说清楚是多大的小孩子。尽量是小孩子觉得简单好记,顺口就行,只要没有大的语法错误就行
2楼2011-05-19 15:39:51
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econy

木虫 (职业作家)

引用回帖:
Originally posted by Mally89 at 2011-05-19 15:39:51:
My favorite food
I like many good food: fish 、cake、candy、milk、fruits、 egg ……
I like fish,because it's (beautiful and这个去掉吧?感觉鱼用来吃好像和美丽没啥关系吧?)[/color ...

是一个9岁的小孩子要参加比赛。
Milk is alibility(没看明白这句话要说什么,本来是要表达“牛奶能够强身健体,促进长高个子”).
冲动是魔鬼...
3楼2011-05-19 17:36:31
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Mally89

铁杆木虫 (职业作家)

T_T

【答案】应助回帖

econy(金币+5): better 2011-05-19 21:02:22
My favorite food
I like many good food: fish 、cake、candy、milk、fruits(我觉得这个s可以去掉)、 egg ……
I like fish,because it's (beautiful and这个去掉吧?感觉鱼用来吃好像和美丽没啥关系吧?可以换个nutrient) yummy (美味的;香喷喷的).
I (have much=drink)milk everyday. Milk can make me strong and tall.
I eat many kinds of fruits (. They are=just like) pears, watermelons, apples, bananas, strawberries and so on. (s都可以去掉,减轻孩子负担,省的某个忘加了) But I like strawberries(用单数吧,9岁的孩子容易忘) best. Strawberries look beautiful and taste very nice. (specially=especially),my grandmother usually buys strawberries (to=for) me. In (one=可以改为a,好记一些,但这样用也行) word, fruits are good for our health.  But (what a pity,)I don’t like vegetables. (So)In future I (’ll=must,这个词好记而且标明了自己的决心)eat more and more vegetables. What do you like?(这句话放这儿感觉没啥用吧) Thank you!
这些词都蛮简单的,9岁的孩子应该都能记住!~

[ Last edited by Mally89 on 2011-5-19 at 20:27 ]
4楼2011-05-19 20:26:25
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