24小时热门版块排行榜    

查看: 1201  |  回复: 11

丝侬

木虫 (著名写手)

chem is try

[交流] 【Leisure chat】my spare time 帮忙检查检查,谢谢 已有6人参与

In my spare time,I enjoy watching cartoons.For instance,Ratatouille,The Princess and the Frog which played by The Walt Disney Company.And Sleeping Beauty,in this film ,the Princess Aurora hold that if one stick to his dream,and one day it will become a reality.
    By watching cartoons,you will keep a unsophisticated  character and maintain a childlike innocence.I like cartoons just because I cherish my childhood memory.
    In some cartoons,especially in the Sleeping Beauty,I learned some truth--stick to your dream,and ond day it will come true.I have a dream,a brilliant one,which sometimes made me disappointing or depressed.But I really konw if I don't pay much time ,much energy  to it ,it will wither and fall just like flash in the pan.Insist on it and make great efforts, my dream will come true,I believe.


修改后:
In my spare time,I enjoy watching cartoons such as Ratatouille,The Princess and the Frog  played by The Walt Disney Company.And in the filmSleeping Beauty,the Princess Aurora holds that if one sticks to his dream,and one day it will become a reality.
    By watching cartoons,I could keep an unsophisticated  character and maintain a childlike innocence.Moreover ,cartoon recalls my childhood memory .
    In some cartoons,especially in the Sleeping Beauty,I learned one  truth that aslong as you  stick to your dream, ond day it will come true.I have a dream,a brilliant one,which  made me excited.But I really konw that if I don't spend much time on my dream or throw all of my energies into  it,it will wither and fall just like a flash in the pan.Insisting on my dream and making great efforts,I will surely make it come true.
.


[ Last edited by 丝侬 on 2010-5-6 at 13:05 ]
回复此楼

» 猜你喜欢

有机合成,生物合成,纠结……
已阅   回复此楼   关注TA 给TA发消息 送TA红花 TA的回帖

将军令

铜虫 (小有名气)

丝侬(金币+1):thank you 2010-05-05 19:51:57
And Sleeping Beauty,in this film ,the Princess Aurora hold that if one stick to his dream,and one day it will become a reality.改为And Sleeping Beauty,in this film ,the Princess Aurora insist that if one stick to his dream,and one day the dream will become a reality.
I learned some truth--stick to your dream,and ond day it will come true.I have a dream,a brilliant one,which sometimes made me disappointing or depressed.改为I learned some truth--stick to your dream,and one day it will come true.I have a dream,a brilliant one,which sometimes makes me disappointing or depressed.
2楼2010-05-05 19:50:26
已阅   回复此楼   关注TA 给TA发消息 送TA红花 TA的回帖

xia_chong

金虫 (文坛精英)

优秀版主

丝侬(金币+5):谢谢您帮我检查,QQQ 2010-05-05 20:23:39
In my spare time,I enjoy watching cartoons.For instance,Ratatouille,The Princess and the Frog which played by The Walt Disney Company.
(像for example,for instance虽然是举例子,但通常后面接一个完整的句子。你这里仅仅是格举,不如改为such as)


And Sleeping Beauty,in this film ,the Princess Aurora hold that if one stick to his dream,and one day it will become a reality.
(Chinglish了。开头改为In the film "sleeping beauty",...这里面hold说是执有一个信念的意思吧。我不知道对不对holds the faith that是不是更好。hold要是单数第三人称,stick也应为sticks,one day最好挪到最后。a reality?我不知道reality是不是可数的,你查查!)

    By watching cartoons,you will keep a unsophisticated  character and maintain a childlike innocence.I like cartoons just because I cherish my childhood memory.
(最好别用第二人称了,用I就好了。a un...改为an,另外,意思的保持一个不复杂的性格(角色)?维持童心是吧,这句话我明白它的意思,但要好好斟酌一下。前面都是在说喜欢卡通的原因,末尾一句just because不好,要改!)

    In some cartoons,especially in the Sleeping Beauty,I learned some truth--stick to your dream,and ond day it will come true.
(英语里面好像不会这么用存折号吧,我不确定。最好改为名词从句吧!)
I have a dream,a brilliant one,which sometimes made me disappointing or depressed.
(时态不统一,disppointing就改为disappointed,or应该去掉或者改为and)
But I really konw if I don't pay much time ,much energy  to it ,it will wither and fall just like flash in the pan.Insist on it and make great efforts, my dream will come true,I believe.
(pay much time?投入时间好像有更好的说法,可以查查,好像是put ... into能量最好解为精力,it指代不明呀,我知道是ur dream,但不够明朗。a flash in the pan是闪电吗?我不确定。最后一句又很中国口语了。要改呀!)


哈哈,我很不客气指出了这些问题!sorry~
Godhelpsthosewhohelpthemselves!
3楼2010-05-05 20:20:29
已阅   回复此楼   关注TA 给TA发消息 送TA红花 TA的回帖

丝侬

木虫 (著名写手)

chem is try

引用回帖:
Originally posted by xia_chong at 2010-05-05 20:20:29:
In my spare time,I enjoy watching cartoons.For instance,Ratatouille,The Princess and the Frog which played by The Walt Disney Company.
(像for example,for instance虽然是举例子,但通常后面接一个完整 ...

a flash in the pan是 昙花一现
有机合成,生物合成,纠结……
4楼2010-05-05 20:27:13
已阅   回复此楼   关注TA 给TA发消息 送TA红花 TA的回帖

xia_chong

金虫 (文坛精英)

优秀版主

哇,给了五个金币,好开心呀!
我查了,a reality是对的!
a flash in the pan是昙花一现的意思,用在这里,很不错!但是别掉了a。
Godhelpsthosewhohelpthemselves!
5楼2010-05-05 20:28:18
已阅   回复此楼   关注TA 给TA发消息 送TA红花 TA的回帖

xia_chong

金虫 (文坛精英)

优秀版主

又查了一下,energy就是精力的精神,我搞错了!用下面的投入可能更好。pay没有查到投入的意思。

许多妇女把她们的全部精力投入到职业中。
Many women throw all of their energies into a career.
Godhelpsthosewhohelpthemselves!
6楼2010-05-05 20:31:15
已阅   回复此楼   关注TA 给TA发消息 送TA红花 TA的回帖

xia_chong

金虫 (文坛精英)

优秀版主

http://dict.baidu.com/s?wd=%CD%B6%C8%EB&tn=dict
里面是投入的词组

好了,对得起五个金币了。
Godhelpsthosewhohelpthemselves!
7楼2010-05-05 20:32:50
已阅   回复此楼   关注TA 给TA发消息 送TA红花 TA的回帖

fangye0413

荣誉版主 (文坛精英)

快乐家族之水

优秀版主

good idea
我喜欢“在路上”的感觉。
8楼2010-05-05 20:42:09
已阅   回复此楼   关注TA 给TA发消息 送TA红花 TA的回帖

fangye0413

荣誉版主 (文坛精英)

快乐家族之水

优秀版主

丝侬(金币+1):谢谢斑斑 2010-05-05 20:51:47
good idea
我喜欢“在路上”的感觉。
9楼2010-05-05 20:44:16
已阅   回复此楼   关注TA 给TA发消息 送TA红花 TA的回帖

houjinglhy

荣誉版主 (文坛精英)

表达自由,人权之基。

优秀版主

COME here for your ID.
so many chinese words appear above.
due to my limited english level, I can do nothing to help you
从小就学习鲁迅,直到现在才体会到他当时是多么的绝望和无助,却仍要用尽最后一丝力气声嘶力竭的呐喊!
10楼2010-05-05 23:00:01
已阅   回复此楼   关注TA 给TA发消息 送TA红花 TA的回帖
相关版块跳转 我要订阅楼主 丝侬 的主题更新
普通表情 高级回复 (可上传附件)
信息提示
请填处理意见