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飘落的音符

铜虫 (小有名气)

[求助] 审稿人提出这两句话是有问题需要修改的语句,请大牛们帮忙给看看

(1)By analyzing the viscosity of coating, the SEM, physical properties, inkjet printing quality and dynamic permeability, the influence of nano-silica on inkjet paper coating was studied.
(2)As shown in Fig.1, the viscosity of coatings increased greatly as the 16nm silica sol dosage was increased. The coatings with too many 16nm silica sol were not good for the preparation and pumping of the coating material.
我将在茫茫人海中寻找我唯一之灵魂伴侣。得之,我幸;失之,我命。
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frozenfox7

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飘落的音符(fjtony163代发): 金币+5, 代发 2018-10-14 02:34:37
fjtony163: 翻译EPI+1, 代发 2018-10-14 02:34:42
(1)By analyzing the viscosity of coating, the SEM, physical properties, inkjet printing quality and dynamic permeability, the influence of nano-silica on inkjet paper coating was studied.
昨天不是说过了吗,先改成主动语态再说。。。还有你的主句里一大串主语的毛病没改掉,后面接的是动词还是单数的was。。先检查一遍再上来问问啊小妹妹。

(2)As shown in Fig.1, the viscosity of coatings increased greatly as the 16nm silica sol dosage was increased. The coatings with too many 16nm silica sol were not good for the preparation and pumping of the coating material.

As shown in Fig.1, the viscosity of coatings increased greatly as the 16nm silica sol dosage (was increased).
The coatings with (too many) 16nm (silica sol) were not good for the preparation and pumping of the coating material.

这两句话建议重写。 good 这个词不适合在科技论文中描述结果,因为good的面太过广泛也太口语化。
2楼2018-09-13 22:07:37
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frozenfox7

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爱与雨下: 金币+1 2018-09-14 21:04:32
(1)By analyzing the viscosity of coating, the SEM, physical properties, inkjet printing quality and dynamic permeability, the influence of nano-silica on inkjet paper coating was studied.
昨天不是说过了吗,先改成主动语态再说。。。还有你的主句里一大串主语的毛病没改掉,后面接的是动词还是单数的was。。先检查一遍再上来问问啊小妹妹。

哎哟,这是我看错了,先说个对不住,这一大串 the viscosity of coating, the SEM, physical properties, inkjet printing quality and dynamic permeability, 是目的,最后那个是 influence of nano-silica on inkjet paper coating 用was。 但你这个还是头重脚轻啊,也很容易给人造成混淆,先改成主动语态,然后这一大串也得改,研究一个能分析出一大堆,在科技论文里太过含混了,最好有简单的因果逻辑分析在里面。
3楼2018-09-14 01:25:23
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