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shengzhiyo

新虫 (初入文坛)

[交流] 小弟写的套磁,请大神修改,小弟万分感谢了 已有19人参与

Dear Prof. Dr. xxxx,

  It is of great honor for me to contact you for the possible PhD position in your prestigious group. My name is Shen-Zhiyong, a postgraduate student from Guizhou Medcial University

  My main research area is urosepsis and lithangiuria After browsing your web site and reading your rearch about prostate cancer progression I really fancy and admire your research.
In the Australia, The incidence of prostate cancer is far more than lung cancer ,and is the second leading cause of cancer death in men .I believe we could have a good match, so I am keen to further my PhD studies with the supervision from you.
During my graduate years, most of my time have worked in the clinic ,Besides I have published 2 The key magazine of China technology, both the first author.

  You will find other details about me for your consideration in my CV attached in this email. If you need further information, please don't hesitate to contact me. I am looking forward to your response!

Best regards,
Shen-Zhiyong
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加油!
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shengzhiyo

新虫 (初入文坛)

引用回帖:
9楼: Originally posted by xfy821523052 at 2015-07-24 22:30:04
多多修改,祝你好运!

谢谢!
加油!
10楼2015-07-24 22:32:22
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虫群之心

新虫 (正式写手)


小木虫: 金币+0.5, 给个红包,谢谢回帖
第一段有点谄媚,不过说不定对方会喜欢,哈哈

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2楼2015-07-24 18:04:09
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zsdxwls

铁杆木虫 (正式写手)


小木虫: 金币+0.5, 给个红包,谢谢回帖
写得很差,各种语病,很多句子不通顺,好好改改吧

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3楼2015-07-24 18:45:00
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anjutalq

版主 (正式写手)


小木虫: 金币+0.5, 给个红包,谢谢回帖
好像你之前发过贴了。信中语法错误太多会给人很不好的印象:
1. fancy的动词意思;
2. In the Australia?;
3. men or human beings?
4. most of my time have worked in the clinic?有这样说的?
5.  I have published 2 The key magazine of China technology?发表核心期刊的论文还是核心期刊?
还有太多中式英文的表达方式。这是你给教授的第一印象,希望你多琢磨。祝顺利!
4楼2015-07-24 18:54:43
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