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Lopemann

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[交流] 【activity】Paraphrase practice four

Today our sentences are:
Drinking not always causes violence, but drinking is linked to the probability of attack from the partner and the severity of attack, as we all know.

All the paraphrase practice will be put in the folder "English Writing"
Feel free to subscribe it.
http://muchong.com/bbs/taotie.php?action=view&ttid=46562

I will give you guys a sentence or sentences on a regular basis.
Basically these sentences have some deficits and what I expect you guys to do is to eliminate deficits as you can.
You can add more details, you can do some replacements, and you can do anything you want.

As long as you post your version here, I will give you some BBs.
For good translations, I will highlight them. And of course I will post my own version here.


My translation:
While we cannot draw a near casual line between drinking and violence, we know enough to show that alcohol has enough of an influence on behaviour to increase both the risk of experiencing an assault from a violent partner, and how severe that assault will be.

Translations given by people actively involved in:

@talkthisover A prevalent notion is that despite fact that drinking may not definitely lead crime, being drank might be remarkably correlated with assault from buds or serious violence.

@winter_north Drinking does not always cause violence, but drinking is linked to the probability of attack from partners and severe attacks, as we all know.

@mac194 Drinking DOES not always cause violence, but IT DOES increase the likelihood of fighting (and serious injury) during live sporting events

@00waterh Drinking is not always causing violence, but linked to the probability of attack from the partner and the severity of attack, as we all know.

@222秦时明月 As we know,drinking does not always cause violence,but it is linked to severe attacks and the probability of attacks on the partner.


[ Last edited by Lopemann on 2014-2-2 at 06:16 ]
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Lopemann

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引用回帖:
3楼: Originally posted by mac194 at 2014-01-31 22:29:04
Drinking DOES not always cause violence, but IT DOES increase the likelihood of fighting (and serious injury) during live sporting events
   1st DOES = correction // 2nd DOES = for emphasis (I usual ...

Thanks for your time.
现实世界的理想主义卧底 Gypsy in memory
4楼2014-02-01 05:55:34
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winter_north

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Lopemann: 回帖置顶 2014-02-01 05:56:40
Lopemann: 金币+3, Thanks for sharing! 2014-02-01 05:56:57
Drinking does not always cause violence, but drinking is linked to the probability of attack from partners and severe attacks, as we all know.


Am I right?
2楼2014-01-31 22:17:53
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mac194

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Lopemann: 金币+5, Good emphasis. 2014-02-01 05:55:08
Lopemann: 回帖置顶 2014-02-01 05:55:10
Drinking DOES not always cause violence, but IT DOES increase the likelihood of fighting (and serious injury) during live sporting events
   1st DOES = correction // 2nd DOES = for emphasis (I usually avoid using pronouns, but thought the IT is appropriate for emphasis)
   "as we all know" sounds opinionated and disparaging.  I prefer to cite examples like "live sporting events"
   ( Thanks for the exercise  I hope those coming after me can respond to mine as well as your entry )
3楼2014-01-31 22:29:04
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Lopemann

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聽真那自由在奏鳴

引用回帖:
2楼: Originally posted by winter_north at 2014-01-31 22:17:53
Drinking does not always cause violence, but drinking is linked to the probability of attack from partners and severe attacks, as we all know.


Am I right?

haha minor grammar mistakes

You can make a big change to time sentence if you want.
现实世界的理想主义卧底 Gypsy in memory
5楼2014-02-01 05:56:37
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