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dabing777777

铁虫 (初入文坛)

[求助] 自己写的六级作文,不知道怎么样,请英语大神指教一二?已有2人参与

1. 现在,在看到他人遇到困难时,很少有人去伸出援手;
2. 这个现象产生的原因;
3. 我的看法。
My view on helping others in need
         Accordingto a recent survey, about 78.9% of people will be not bound to give a hand toothers in need. It is well established that the situation of requesting a helpis usually a cheat. However, when people who indeed need helps are in trouble,keeping silence may cause a terrible result.
         Whydo not many people help others in need? For one thing, it’s a lie. One askedfor help when he fell down the stairs. If you helped him, he might say,” Itmust be you to push me! Give me some money of the medicine.” In fact, thisphenomenon is occurring more frequently nowadays. For another, it isn’t a lie,but hit a man’s heart deeply. For instance, a number of people will presentthose who help them with a just indifferent face. What’s more, the warm-heartedman gives his life to save them. They still take it for granted that,” It'snone of my business.”
         Inspite of the negative news of helping others, there is no need to reject to helpeveryone. I adhere to a faith that there are more good people than bad ones inthe world. As long as we are more careful, the help behavior will pay off in a lifetime.
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好!

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2楼2013-12-13 17:30:57
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shzhao113

禁虫 (著名写手)

★ ★ ★ ★ ★
dabing777777: 金币+5, ★★★很有帮助, thanks 2013-12-13 18:50:22
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3楼2013-12-13 17:36:41
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dabing777777

铁虫 (初入文坛)

引用回帖:
3楼: Originally posted by shzhao113 at 2013-12-13 17:36:41
我觉得你写的很短,另外,段落和题目之间缺乏直接联系。比如,第二个问题,问你该现象产生的原因。你可以直接说the reasons of such behaviors can be specially explained in three aspects.问什么写什么,让老师给 ...

谢啦哈,我英语水平很不怎么的,就是心里没底啊,在寻求进步咯~ 说的很不错~
4楼2013-12-13 18:49:55
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warrenyang

铁杆木虫 (著名写手)

【答案】应助回帖

8分档  俺就是阅六级的

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5楼2013-12-13 21:18:50
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sunyzh123

铁杆木虫 (著名写手)

感觉写的没太大看下去的欲望,有的句子应该适当调整一下,打分的话大概是7.5分上下,得看书写。

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6楼2013-12-14 10:07:45
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