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小木虫论坛-学术科研互动平台 » 科研生活区 » English Cafe » Diary » Toefl on Writing
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菜鸟2012

银虫 (小有名气)

[交流] Toefl on Writing

At night, I tried to write my first writing about Toefl Practice Online,  the time of test was limited within 30minutes, while I took about 40minutes.  However, practice makes perfect. I believe I would be fluent in writing next several monthes. Come on!
Plus my writing: dependence living or live with familiesCould You Help Me Find Any Incorrect?)

In order to see their parents at home, many young children choose to live with their families for a longer time. In my opinion, I am superior to live alone as soon as possible. Because it brings multiple benefits.

Firstly, living alone helps children enrich their life and solve difficulties on my own.  The following are my personal experiences. When apart from their parents, I have to learn how to do everthing in life. Because I used to be very spoiled sometimes, and everyone always gives you the best thing that you most desire to. However, once living alone, I have to gain these things now from myself. For example,  very often some parents in China help their kids ,who are too spoiled to do anything, wash clothes, but facing the life that separates from parents,  children would try to wash their own uniform school clothes and receive sevice from themselve. Therefore, independence for living really enriches our life.

Secondly, living alone play a significant role on personal behaviors. It can deal with the relationships between parents and children. For instance, loudly musics and games, while generally considered annoying for many parents at home,  are enjoyable for many young children. they can listen to a rock music, even the beautful melody of Mazart,  or watch a football game for supporting their favorite team. if  they want, everything they like can do.  Besides,  casual time for a study plan at apartment  depends on themselve, which makes children more freedom. You can imagine that would be a wonderful thing for a fashion boy.

Admittedly, independence has some disbenefits, for one thing, parents are more easily to worry about their children. For another thing, it creats homesickness for children. However, as long as children can go home regularly, these problems can be solved.

In conclusion, I prefer to live alone as soon as possible rather than live with their families for a longer time.
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1楼2013-10-10 23:23:33
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tuqin2575

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00waterh: 金币+5, there may be three stages to improve one's writing skills 2013-10-28 19:44:37
I think there may be three stages to improve one's writing skills. First, learn to write good sentences. It means you have to get a good vocabulary and a sense of grammar rules.  Second, to write fluently. It requires efficient and enough practice. The last, to think deep. On this purpose you need to be able to debate, to analyze and to employ some typical examples. Overall, you are supposed to present your own views in the best, accurate and concise way. Among these three stages, the second stage can be solved in EC if you come here often. The first lays the ground, and may be boring. The last is the most difficult and asks for extensive reading and many other things. Best wishes.
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Befreeinyourway,justliketheshinninglighteveryday.
8楼2013-10-28 18:58:40
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ustcmm
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3楼2013-10-10 23:28:29
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00waterh

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curton: 金币+8, Thank you for your advice. what you said is right. And your encouragement is inspiring for me, I will be on the right track. 2014-02-23 13:32:44
curton: 回帖置顶 2014-02-23 13:32:46
below are some of my opinion, just for reference.
seems there is uneasy to understand the title :dependence living or live with families.maybe there is something wrong with this title.is it" independent living or living with families" ? i don't know.

then the first paragraph. first,logically, to be with parents is one of the reasons that child wants to live with their parents. second, the sentence"in order to see their parents at home " maybe not good to express your meaning. maybe you can say "in order to be with their parents". okay, maybe there are some other mistakes. i think you can find them by reading it.

i think the structure is good. and i believe you will write a excellent article little by little.so write your article here, let us see your progress.
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4楼2013-10-11 09:19:21
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菜鸟2012

银虫 (小有名气)
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4楼: Originally posted by 00waterh at 2013-10-11 09:19:21
below are some of my opinion, just for reference.
seems there is uneasy to understand the title :dependence living or live with families.maybe there is something wrong with this title.is it" in ...

Thank you for your advice. what you said is  right. And your encouragement is inspiring for me,  I will be on the right track.
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5楼2013-10-11 19:24:03
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