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lqyygy

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[求助] 论文摘要润色

Network analysis is a fundamental basis for the applications of community resources scheduling. The Multi- criteria constrained maximal flow problem with route capacity changing with time is mainly discussed in this paper. The geometry algebra unit based coding is used to achieve a geometric algebra expression of network diagram. The network connectivity and path search are implemented based on geometric product. With the help of the independent computation and the inner linkage with Boolean operations of geometric algebra computation, Multi- criteria are integrated based on the constraint matrix, and then the Multi- criteria Constrained Maximal Flow Analysis algorithm with route capacity changing is proposed. The algorithm was implemented and validated with maximum flow analysis under the conditions of pollutant dispersion cases. The results show that the geometric algebra based network analysis algorithm can effectively support multi-dimensional community networks under the constraints of scheduling analysis of materials, which also can support rapid computing and updating the weight of external constraints and changes in conditions of maximum flow problems.

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220chengeng

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★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★
book2005593: 金币+10, 翻译EPI+1, 辛苦了，感谢热心应助~ 2012-11-20 11:10:49
lqyygy: 金币+12, ★★★★★最佳答案, 非常感谢~回答很详细，很有帮助。 2012-11-21 15:01:33
phu_grassman: 回帖置顶 2012-11-21 15:06:46

我来提点意见吧，您自己根据自己的理解去其精华，去其槽粕吧，不当之处，请各位指点，专业名词我就不说了。

Network analysis is fundamental to applications of community resources scheduling.
Fundamental与basis意思重复，applications可以不加the。
The multi-criteria constrained maximal flow problem with route capacity changing with time is mainly discussed in this paper.
如果主语太长建议使用倒装句式，但是有些文章的编辑不见得能接受，甚至可能会认为这个是语法错误，我见识过这种编辑，高等级刊物的应该可以，可以改为（不改也行）：In this paper is mainly discussed the multi-criteria constrained maximal flow problem with route capacity changing with time. 介词前置，全句倒装，英文尾重结构，后面有你加任何修饰成分的机会，《经济学家》的文章中经常用这种结构。
The geometry algebra unit based coding is used to achieve a geometric algebra expression of network diagram.
如果前面的三个单词都是跟着based的话，那based前面的修饰成分太长，英文中很少这样表达，不妨改为：The coding based on geometry algebra unit is used to achieve a geometric algebra expression of network diagram.
The network connectivity and path search are implemented based on the geometric product.
如果为了避免重复用based on，可以考虑according to。
With the help of the independent computation and the inner linkage with Boolean operations of geometric algebra computation, multi- criteria are integrated based on the constraint matrix, and then is proposed the Multi-criteria Constrained Maximal Flow Analysis algorithm with route capacity changing.
这个是同理，前面的主语太长的话不妨前置，这个主语还不算长的，如果还有一些成分是修饰这个主语的话，照这个翻译法，加上这些内容，这个算法是谁提出的，哪年提出的，后来又被谁更新了，那你这个主语就有两行了，然后说了一大通，最后才来个is proposed或者is given，我相信您在原版英文中是很少看到这种表达方式的。
The algorithm is implemented and validated with maximum flow analysis under the conditions of pollutant dispersion cases.
词态要跟上面的一致，坚决点。总感觉这个cases和conditions有点重复之虞，不知道你这个cases在这里是什么意思？
The results show that the geometric-algebra-based network analysis algorithm can effectively support multi-dimensional community networks under the constraints of scheduling analysis of materials, and also can rapidly compute and update the weight of external constraints and changes in conditions of maximum flow problems.
为什么后半句我觉着这样改好些，理由如下：
1.这里虽然我没有看到中文原文，但是这里用一个非限制性定语从句似乎不妥，我觉得后半句的作用似乎比前半句更加重要，至少是平起平坐，用一个修饰成分会无形中降低其地位，你不要担心and用得太多，后面的句子读起来没有歧义就可以大胆用，实在不行可以看句子的结构换个as well as，但是这里暂时还没有必要。
2. 照您的原始译法，support作为动词后面接的computing和updating应该是动名词，而在这个名词后面又接了个宾语，你要把它用作了分词，导致句子结构不理想，所以索性改为can rapidly compute and update，跟前面的can effectively support还是一种相当工整的并列结构，既避免重复了support，还使整个句子少了一个单词，更精干了一些，您觉得呢？
3.另外还有一个小建议，有时候conditions可以用其它单词代替，比如in case，scenario等，要看情况选择，当然选conditions比较稳妥点。

下面是word修订模式下的截图，方便您看得更清楚。

修改截图.JPG