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etin

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[交流] 雅思写作:增强语句表现力的五大王牌(外语路上,与风同行) 已有7人参与

一、避免使用语意弱的“be”动词。

  1、把句中的表语转换为不同的修饰语。例如:

  Weak: The trees are bare. The grass is brown. The landscape seems drab. Revision:The brown grass and bare trees form a drab landscape. (转换为前置定语)

  Or: The landscape, bare and brown, begged for spring green. (转换为并列结构作后置定语)

  2、将作表语用的形容词或名词变为行为动词。例如:

  1)

  Weak: The team members are good players.

  Revision: The team members play well.

  2)

  Weak: One worker's plan is the elimination of tardiness.

  Revision: One worker's plan eliminates tardiness.

  3、在以“here”或“there”开头的句子中,把“be”动词后的名词代词变成改写句的主语。例如:

  1)

  Weak: There is no opportunity for promotion.

  Revision: No opportunity for promotion exists.

  2)

  Weak: Here are the books you ordered.

  Revision: The books you ordered have arrived.

  二、多用语意具体的动词,保持句意简洁明了。例如:

  1、

  Poor: My supervisor went past my desk.

  Better: My supervisor sauntered (=walked slowly) past my desk.

  2、

  Poor: She is a careful shopper.

  Better: She compares prices and quality.

  三、尽量运用主动语态。例如:

  1、

  Weak: The organization has been supported by charity.

  Better: Charity has supported the organization.

  2、

  Weak: The biscuits were stacked on a plate.

  Better: Mother stacked the biscuits on a plate.

  四、防止使用语意冗长累赘的词语。例如:

  1、

  Wordy: My little sister has a preference for chocolate milk.

  Improved: My little sister prefers chocolate milk.

  2、

  Wordy: We are in receipt of your letter and intend to follow your recommendations.

  Improved: We have received your letter and intended to follow your recommendation.

  3、

  Redundant: We had a serious crisis at school yesterday when our chemistry laboratory caught fire.

  Improved: We had a crisis at school yesterday when our chemistry laboratory caught fire.

  4、

  Redundant: My sister and I bought the same, identical dress in different stores.

  Improved: My sister and I bought the same dress in different stores.

  五、杜绝滥用陈旧词语或难懂的专业术语。例如:

  1、

  Weak: They will not agree to his proposals in any shape or form.

  Improved: They will not agree to any of his proposals.

  2、

  Weak: I need her financial input before I can guesstimate our expenditures next fall.

  Improved: I need her financial figures before I can estimate our expenditures next fall.
转自:http://www.kekenet.com/ielts/201210/202846.shtml
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小木虫: 金币+0.5, 给个红包,谢谢回帖
etin: 金币+1, 仅代表作者个人观点,呵呵,谢谢交流,欢迎常来 2012-10-09 19:33:02
多谢楼主分享!
  但是我貌似曾经听老师说过,有时候被动语态会比主动语态强烈。所以就第三个部分,是不是有点太绝对了?
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6楼2012-10-09 19:11:32
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4楼2012-10-09 11:45:45
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求知者001: 金币+2, 积极交流探讨是很好的事情,欢迎常来外语版哦~ 2012-10-09 14:27:11
etin: 金币+2, 本来想给你回复,结果看到你自己明白了,呵呵,看得很认真啊,欢迎常来 2012-10-09 19:31:35
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5楼2012-10-09 11:48:11
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引用回帖:
5楼: Originally posted by tuwenkang at 2012-10-09 11:48:11
是我看错了,不好意思,我后来又看了一下发现这句话没错,我自己分析错了,不好意思 !!这句话本身是将One worker's plan作主语了 ...

是这样的
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7楼2012-10-09 19:33:17
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