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¡¡¡¡Revision: The team members play well.

¡¡¡¡2)

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¡¡¡¡Revision: One worker's plan eliminates tardiness.

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¡¡¡¡Revision: No opportunity for promotion exists.

¡¡¡¡2)

¡¡¡¡Weak: Here are the books you ordered.

¡¡¡¡Revision: The books you ordered have arrived.

¡¡¡¡¶þ¡¢¶àÓÃÓïÒâ¾ßÌåµÄ¶¯´Ê£¬±£³Ö¾äÒâ¼ò½àÃ÷ÁË¡£ÀýÈ磺

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¡¡¡¡Better: My supervisor sauntered (=walked slowly) past my desk.

¡¡¡¡2¡¢

¡¡¡¡Poor: She is a careful shopper.

¡¡¡¡Better: She compares prices and quality.

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¡¡¡¡1¡¢

¡¡¡¡Weak: The organization has been supported by charity.

¡¡¡¡Better: Charity has supported the organization.

¡¡¡¡2¡¢

¡¡¡¡Weak: The biscuits were stacked on a plate.

¡¡¡¡Better: Mother stacked the biscuits on a plate.

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¡¡¡¡Improved: My little sister prefers chocolate milk.

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¡¡¡¡Wordy: We are in receipt of your letter and intend to follow your recommendations.

¡¡¡¡Improved: We have received your letter and intended to follow your recommendation.

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¡¡¡¡Redundant: We had a serious crisis at school yesterday when our chemistry laboratory caught fire.

¡¡¡¡Improved: We had a crisis at school yesterday when our chemistry laboratory caught fire.

¡¡¡¡4¡¢

¡¡¡¡Redundant: My sister and I bought the same, identical dress in different stores.

¡¡¡¡Improved: My sister and I bought the same dress in different stores.

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¡¡¡¡Improved: They will not agree to any of his proposals.

¡¡¡¡2¡¢

¡¡¡¡Weak: I need her financial input before I can guesstimate our expenditures next fall.

¡¡¡¡Improved: I need her financial figures before I can estimate our expenditures next fall.
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