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水中绿洲

银虫 (小有名气)

[求助] 润色一句话 谢谢

There is a dramatic drop in (222) diffraction peak intensity of the film deposited at 300°C, the average grain size and transmission peak intensity (85.28%) of the film decreases.    怎么修改一下 使其符合英语习惯 现在头重脚轻吧  谢谢大家
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dafeng001

木虫 (职业作家)

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爱与雨下(金币+1): ~~ 2011-08-04 09:32:34
sltmac(金币+5): 感谢应助 2011-08-10 09:51:54
A dramatic drop appeared in (222) diffraction peak intensity of the film deposited at 300°C. And It was observed that both average grain size and transmission peak intensity (85.28%) of the film decreases.
2楼2011-08-04 09:03:08
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dafeng001

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8814402(金币+1): 好像是的,感谢这种钻研劲! 2011-08-05 23:29:38
可能 appeared at 更好
3楼2011-08-04 09:04:08
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phu_grassman

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爱与雨下(金币+1): ~alse? 2011-08-04 10:32:27
8814402: 如果内容和字体都炫更好 2011-08-05 23:30:19
sltmac(金币+5): 2011-08-10 09:52:01
A dramatic increase was observed in the (222)diffraction peak intensity of the film deposited at 300°C,of which the average grain size and transmission peak intensity (85.28%) alse decreased.
4楼2011-08-04 09:48:36
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qiuyuan

木虫之王 (文坛精英)

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爱与雨下(金币+1): ~ 2011-08-04 10:26:52
A dramatic drop appeared at (222) diffraction peak intensity of the film deposited at 300°C. Meanwhile, It was observed that both average grain size and transmission peak intensity (85.28%) of the film decreased.
5楼2011-08-04 10:18:21
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phu_grassman

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sltmac(金币+1): 鼓励交流~ 2011-08-06 08:46:08
8814402(金币+1): 很好,及时回馈,才能达到互助提高的目的 2011-08-06 11:28:40
引用回帖:
4楼: Originally posted by phu_grassman at 2011-08-04 09:48:36:
A dramatic increase was observed in the (222)diffraction peak intensity of the film deposited at 300°C,of which the average grain size and transmission peak ...

also, not alse.
Thanks for pointing out my mistake.
Expect more of your advice.
6楼2011-08-04 10:42:16
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gznelab

金虫 (正式写手)

产品创新+商业营销模式创新

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爱与雨下(金币+1): ~~ 2011-08-05 08:43:07
8814402(金币+1): 态度端正 2011-08-06 11:27:37
sltmac(金币+5, 翻译EPI+1): 欢迎常来~ 2011-08-10 09:52:11
建议提问的时候将你要表达的意思用中文也说一遍,这样便于想帮助你的人更清楚知道你真正想说什么。

现在根据你的原文"There is a dramatic drop in (222) diffraction peak intensity of the film deposited at 300°C, the average grain size and transmission peak intensity (85.28%) of the film decreases." 猜测你大概想说一种 film deposited at 300°C的diffraction peak intensity,average grain size and transmission peak intensity都发生了变化。如果理解没错的话(如果我的理解错了,别怪罪),你大概可以这样表达(注意,只有逻辑正确,才能表达清楚):Compared to xxxx (the other type of film), the film deposited at 300°C showed a dramatic drop in (222) diffraction peak intensity and transmission peak intensity (85.28%); the average grain size of the deposit (具体的沉积物质) decreased from xxx to yyy.

上面的修改仅仅是语法上的建议。实际上,如果要体现专业性,你起码要提供diffraction peak intensity下降的百分比,average grain size的变化具体数值,甚至更细致的统计数据。
某虫:该吃吃,该喝喝,遇事别往心里搁;某歌手:放过了自己,我才能高飞;ALincoln:Andintheend,it'snottheyearsinyourlifethatcount.Itisthelifeinyouryears.
7楼2011-08-04 21:16:30
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