24小时热门版块排行榜    

查看: 544  |  回复: 1
当前主题已经存档。

william98

铁虫 (初入文坛)

[交流] 跟着斑竹写作文-Issue88

Issue 88 Technologies not only influence but actually determine social customs and ethics.

提纲:
除去开头结尾,主要就两个部分:
1. 科技的发展对人们的生活方式等的确带来了很大的影响
2. 影响社会风俗习惯和道德的因素很多,科技也只能影响而不能起决定作用

Technology emerged and began to develop since human beings began to think thousands of years ago: from using a simple gearing to draw water from a well, to handling a product line by computers and robots today, technology never stops its steps to progress. As a considerable part of our life, technologies eventually influence our social customs and ethics to an extant, but not a determinate factor in my opinion.

With the development of technology, the breakthrough of technology often triggers the transformation of social customs and ethics. With the invention of automobiles, people have more freedom to choose the work place and residence; with tele-communications, people widen their way and frequency not only to contact with friends and neighbors, but also to strangers; with the development of computer and internet, people can work, attend classes, do shopping and so forth at home rather than go out in the past. Obviously, it is with the magic power of technology that we change a lot about way we perceive and the contact with the world. Old occupations disappear while new occupations are born. The most notable example is the situation of women status. Hundreds of years ago, women were considered only negligible house keepers, however, after the industrial revolution, women began to go out of home to choose some simple work such as secretary, or ordinary workers, and then with the information revolution, women nowadays in many nations can hold very important positions in business companies or government as men do. Obviously, it is with the magic power of technology that we change a lot about way we perceive and contact with the world.

However, social customs and ethics are extraordinarily complicated rather than just the way people work, think, live and so on. They are handed down from generation to generation with so many essential elements such as the history background of a nation or the religion and its evolution of people. Chinese people began to celebrate Spring festival and Mid-autumn Day with the whole family thousands years ago and also do the same now, no matter how fast technology develops, the basic forms of these celebrations still remains the same just as thousands of years ago. It is a way to express people’s good wish for the new year and for the kith and kin. What’s more, human nature and human’s good will for truth, goodness and beauty etc., which compose the essential elements of social ethics, are not determined by technology. Technology makes progress, does not mean people will think evil conduct as right; communication skills develops, does not mean people do not long for lasting love and friendship anymore. Ethics is immanent of human beings. Thousands of years culture, history, regions and human nature work together to form this complex social ethics, and thus influence social customs. Technology cause changes to these but will never become one that determines.

The effect that technology bring about is so tremendous, that our life, our social customs and ethics become eventually change to some extant. However, from what have been discussed above it is clear that technology just play an assistant role not a determinate one.
回复此楼

» 猜你喜欢

已阅   回复此楼   关注TA 给TA发消息 送TA红花 TA的回帖

searover

金虫 (小有名气)

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★
hummer(金币+10):批改的详细认真
Issue 88 Technologies not only influence but actually determine social customs and ethics.

Technology emerged and began to develop since human beings began to think thousands of years ago: from using a simple gearing to draw water from a well, to handling a product line by computers and robots today, technology never stops its steps to progress. As a considerable part of our life, technologies eventually influence our social customs and ethics to an extant, but not a determinate factor in my opinion.

With the development of technology, the breakthrough of technology often triggers the transformation of social customs and ethics. With the invention of automobiles, people have more freedom to choose the work place and residence; with tele-communications, people widen their way and frequency not only to contact with friends and neighbors, but also to strangers; with the development of computer and internet, people can work, attend classes, do shopping and so forth at home rather than go out in the past. Obviously, it is with the magic power of technology that we change a lot about way we perceive and the<删> contact with the world. Old occupations disappear while new occupations are born. The most notable example is the situation of women status. Hundreds of years ago, women were considered only negligible house keepers, however, after the industrial revolution, women began to go out of home to choose some simple work such as secretary, or ordinary workers, and then with the information revolution, women nowadays in many nations can hold very important positions in business companies or government as men do. <此例没有体现出科技对女性生产生活状态发生影响的因果逻辑关系,譬如after industrial revolution句,after仅表示时间上的逻辑关系,却没有表示出因果关系。可以仅以过去与现在进行强对比来体现因科技进步对女性状况的具体改变,比泛泛的描述效果要强烈。> Obviously, it is with the magic power of technology that we change a lot about way we perceive and contact with the world. <重复文中原话应是一大败笔。>

However, social customs and ethics are extraordinarily complicated rather than just the way people work, think, live and so on. They are handed down from generation to generation with so many essential elements such as the history background of a nation or the religion and its evolution of people. Chinese people began to celebrate Spring festival and Mid-autumn Day with the whole family thousands years ago and also do the same now, no matter how fast technology develops, the basic forms of these celebrations still remains the same just as thousands of years ago. It is a way to express people’s good wish for the new year and for the kith and kin. What’s more, human nature and human’s good will for truth, goodness and beauty etc., which compose the essential elements of social ethics, are not determined by technology. Technology makes progress, does not mean people will think evil conduct as right; communication skills develops, does not mean people do not long for lasting love and friendship anymore. Ethics is immanent of human beings. Thousands of years culture, history, regions and human nature work together to form this complex social ethics, and thus influence social customs. Technology cause changes to these but will never become one that determines< 应有these or them做宾语>.

The effect that technology bring about is so tremendous, that our life, our social customs and ethics become eventually change to some extant. However, from what have been discussed above it is clear that technology just play an assistant role not a determinate one.

<文字功底深厚,驾驭语言的能力极佳。
不足之处在于句式的变化上。从文中多次使用排比的修辞手法来看,有点单一的感觉,当然效果还是不错的,尤其是第二段中的排比,效果相当的好,是文中除了首段外的第二大亮点。
此外,文章整体的逻辑层次也安排的很合理。但是段中的逻辑关系显得稍弱些,基本上都是平行的逻辑关系,影响了论证的力度。譬如第二段中,先是科技对人类的影响,然后是具体论述对女性的影响,是一个向下包容的逻辑关系;如果反过来,变为向上包容的逻辑关系,论证的力度会更强;或者由对个人的影响,对民族的影响,乃至对全人类的影响这样的逻辑顺序也是一个较强的逻辑论证序列。
大毛病挑不出,小毛病无关痛痒,见谅见谅:)>
2楼2006-07-04 21:58:16
已阅   回复此楼   关注TA 给TA发消息 送TA红花 TA的回帖
相关版块跳转 我要订阅楼主 william98 的主题更新
普通表情 高级回复 (可上传附件)
最具人气热帖推荐 [查看全部] 作者 回/看 最后发表
[基金申请] 听说今天filecode变了 +17 布布和一二 2026-08-06 31/1550 2026-08-06 22:34 by qusibaya
[基金申请] filecode +10 等待解的谜 2026-08-06 14/700 2026-08-06 21:16 by zhanghaozhu
[基金申请] 固定端突然变了,今天 +3 archvillain 2026-08-06 7/350 2026-08-06 21:05 by archvillain
[基金申请] filecode +8 布布和一二 2026-08-06 11/550 2026-08-06 20:41 by tangpu318
[基金申请] 大家散了吧,后缀研究没有意义,别浪费时间了,过好目前的每一天,不要焦虑 +5 Tide man 2026-08-06 6/300 2026-08-06 20:19 by 苏知砚
[基金申请] 基金中了 +4 laoda193707 2026-08-06 4/200 2026-08-06 18:56 by olivermiaoer
[有机交流] 一个有机合成实验室都需要哪些设备? 50+3 kf2781974 2026-07-31 12/600 2026-08-06 15:11 by eddyin
[基金申请] 求各位大神看下 100+6 hpkpkpkp 2026-08-05 33/1650 2026-08-06 14:49 by zhiyanjiang
[教师之家] 咨询面上基金 +4 李长云 2026-07-31 7/350 2026-08-06 11:20 by 李长云
[基金申请] 影响面上的因素 +8 布布和一二 2026-08-05 11/550 2026-08-06 10:41 by 宝贝虫子
[基金申请] 8月时间戳变的,举个手。玩一下,释放压力 +9 archvillain 2026-08-04 11/550 2026-08-05 20:06 by wlwhappy
[基金申请] 面上再次挂了,太难了,躺也躺不了,倦也卷不过,小学校之殇! +22 低垂的野花 2026-07-31 30/1500 2026-08-05 18:03 by 低垂的野花
[基金申请] 好消息?这个有何含义??? +8 Tide man 2026-08-05 10/500 2026-08-05 16:14 by xmuxiaoyu
[考博] 【2027博士申请】纳米药物递送方向 20+3 13586093586 2026-08-03 4/200 2026-08-05 09:59 by lfy8008
[基金申请] 有没有H口的?有收到消息的吗? +3 超级海虾 2026-08-04 3/150 2026-08-04 17:26 by 学教育滴
[论文投稿] 十年后又回来了,论文投稿求助 +3 哈哈114477 2026-08-01 3/150 2026-08-04 15:40 by tegsgjy20
[基金申请] 纯娱乐,不喜欢勿喷 +7 Tide man 2026-08-04 10/500 2026-08-04 15:10 by loufangrui
[基金申请] 面上提前没消息,有中的吗 +14 archvillain 2026-08-02 18/900 2026-08-04 14:42 by archvillain
[基金申请] 娱乐 +4 Tide man 2026-08-03 4/200 2026-08-04 11:51 by wgch518
[基金申请] 什么时候能放榜呀? +3 Jacob678 2026-08-03 3/150 2026-08-03 16:14 by gltch
信息提示
请填处理意见