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shirongjiu

金虫 (正式写手)

[交流] 【Activity】Faults-finding Activity- No. 1 已有8人参与

hello, everyone!

the following sentences need perfection. why not try to find the so-called faults here?  A week later, I will give the rewrited contents and why I do the alterations.

come on!

1) To accelerate the pace of economic reform……
    To accelerate economic reform……(to accelerate means to increase the pace of, therefore “the pace of ” is unnecessary words. )

2) There have been good harvests in agriculture in recent years.
    There have been good harvests in recent years.(harvests implies agriculture: there are no harvests in industry.)
3) The living standards for the people in both urban and rural areas continued to rise.
   Living standards in both………(the notion of living standards applies only to people.)
4) The development of our economy in the future will, to a large extent, depend on……
    The development of our economy will, to a large extent, depend on……(the future tense of the verb “will depend” is sufficient to express futurity.)

5) We should adopt a series of measures to ensure that……
    We should adopt measures to ensure that……(here the plural form of “measures” covers the sense of a series)

6) Following the realization of mechanization and electrification of agriculture…
    Following the mechanization and electrification of agriculture…
7) It is essential to strengthen the building of national defense.
    It is essential to strengthen national defense.

8) At that time the situation in northeast China was still one that where the enemy was stronger than the people’s forces.
   At that time the enemy was stronger than the people’s forces in northeast China.

9) The key to the solution lies in the curtailment of expenditure.
     the solution lies in the curtailment of expenditure.

10) To ensure a relationship of close cooperation between……
      To ensure close cooperation between……


Epilogue:
The original sentences have too many unnecessary nouns or verbs. In fact, when we delete these words, we will not change the meaning, resulting in much more concise sentences.

[ Last edited by shirongjiu on 2010-5-5 at 10:01 ]
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tianyaren8078

木虫 (著名写手)

★
小木虫(金币+0.5):恭喜抢沙发,给个红包
shirongjiu(金币+2):thanks 2010-05-05 10:03:23
Support you forever!
2楼2010-04-27 10:40:46
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dulele719

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小木虫(金币+0.2):抢了个小板凳,给个红包
shirongjiu(金币+2):THANKS 2010-05-05 10:03:12
SUPPORT~
3楼2010-04-27 10:41:44
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phyweiw

铁杆木虫 (著名写手)

shirongjiu(金币+5): 2010-05-05 10:02:54
1/ to speed up economic reform; 原文太中国式了,呵呵
4楼2010-04-27 10:47:03
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class77

木虫 (著名写手)

shirongjiu(金币+3):well done 2010-05-05 10:03:38
引用回帖:
Originally posted by phyweiw at 2010-04-27 10:47:03:
1/ to speed up economic reform; 原文太中国式了,呵呵

Chinese English is not to be overly criticized. The internationalization of English is unavoidable.
5楼2010-04-27 15:20:30
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phyweiw

铁杆木虫 (著名写手)

shirongjiu(金币+5):yes! 2010-05-05 10:04:02
引用回帖:
Originally posted by class77 at 2010-04-27 15:20:30:


Chinese English is not to be overly criticized. The internationalization of English is unavoidable.

yes, I agree with you. Some Chinglish expressions even received acclamation by native English-speakers, such as "long time no see"," Good good study, day day up."

But this post emphasis fault-fingding. So, we should treat these sentence with scrutiny in line with tradiitional grammar and custom.
6楼2010-04-27 15:34:47
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zs2009

木虫 (职业作家)

新生代

shirongjiu(金币+2):thanks 2010-05-05 10:04:12
SUPPORT
前半生不害怕,后半生不后悔!!
7楼2010-05-02 01:28:08
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wyj393854600

铁虫 (初入文坛)

can i understand it ?
8楼2010-05-02 09:14:22
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mudannanzi

木虫 (正式写手)

shirongjiu(金币+2):thanks 2010-05-05 10:04:34
3) The living standard for the people in both urban and rural areas is continuing to rise.
迷糊
9楼2010-05-02 15:29:27
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dengqunliu

木虫 (知名作家)

shirongjiu(金币+2):thanks 2010-05-05 10:04:45
1) In order to accelerate the pace of economic reform……
2) Good harvests have been made in agriculture in recent years.
3) The living standards for the people in both urban and rural areas keep arising.
4) The development of our economy in the future will, to a large extent, depends on……
5) We should adopt a series of measures to ensure that……
6) Following the realization of mechanization and electrification of agriculture…
7) It is essential to strengthen the building of national defense.
8) At that time the situation in northeast China was still one that where the enemy was stronger than the people’s forces.
9) The key to the solution lies in the curtailment of expenditure.
10) To ensure a relationship of close cooperation between……
享受一下轻松
10楼2010-05-04 08:45:41
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