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1.Don't lie. The temptation to embellish may be overwhelming,but eventually your online connection will suss out the turth. Of course,there's nothing wrong with showing yourself in the best possible light. Isn't that what one does on a job interview?

¡¡¡¡ 2.Don't send unsolicited pictures. Instead, focus on potential partners' interests and needs and speak to them. Your ability to tolerate a cat, for instance, can often be more important to a cat-fancying woman than nine inches of photoshop enhancement.

¡¡¡¡ 3.Don't arrange to meet without seeing each other's photo beforehand. There's nothing worse than sitting at a rendezvous, like a pub or a coffee shop, waiting for your cyberdate without knowing what to look for.

¡¡¡¡ 4.Talk to each other on the phone before you meet. Just because you think she writes like Erica Jong, you'd be surprised how quickly turned off you can get by someone's voice, speaking manner or choice of words. Think of the last time you heard a cackling laugh ring out through a restaurant and how embarrassed you felt for the poor guy who had to put up with that voice all night.

¡¡¡¡ Suggests Withlin:¡°Talk with someone once or twice and then meet for coffee -- not a date,just something time - limited. You never know what the personal dynamics are going to be until you've actually met, no matter how long you talk on the phone.¡± Witlin says spending a lot of time on the phone is simply a matter of playing it safe. ¡°It's so much easier to give good phone than to meet in person.¡±

¡¡¡¡ 5.Know what you're looking for in a cyberdate. You don't want to be romancing what you think is a oneª²night stand while your date is auditioning husband material. On the other hand, you may be seeking a longerª²term mate, while the person on the other side of the martini turns out to be married and merely looking for fun.

¡¡¡¡ 6.Consider how important physical attributes are to you. If you work out often and live an active lifestyle, chances are you're looking for a fitª²bodied partner.

¡¡¡¡ Someone simply because she doesn't fit within your narrow margins of beauty. But if you're clear about your bodyª²type needs, reread Item 3.

¡¡¡¡ 7.Don't engage in cybersex until after you've met and agreed to continue the relationship. You have no idea who or what is tapping away on the keys on the other side of the screen. It could be some guy going through a midlife crists, or some desperado who is the subject of a police sting operation.

¡¡¡¡ 8.Don't waste a lot of time cyber chatting before you meet. This is a personal rule that you can accept or reject: If he is so wonderful that I want to get right down to it, why waste time? So if she is not wonderful, why waste time? Of course, you don't want to be accused of having only one thing on your mind, so be careful how you apply this principle.

¡¡¡¡ 9.Always meet in a public place the first time. What if, haven forbid, you've hooked up with some Jagged Edge-type psycho, or what if she's he? There are many reasons you don't want to be pounding on someone's door for a private firstª²time encounter.

¡¡¡¡ 10.Don't take everything so personally. If your newfound friend doesn't immediately respond to your instant message, it doesn't necessarily mean you are being ignored. Don't get your spleen all in a bunch and zip off a cranky message, unless that is how you want to crash you hardª²drive desires. It can also signal that you've only been faking confidence. You're trying to show your best sides, so don't blow it in some pique of anger.

¡¡¡¡ 11.Always keep a date, or call to cancel. Don't let some hapless potential partner wait needlessly at your meeting place. It takes a strong stomach to cyberdate, whether you decide to meet someone or to call the whole thing off.


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