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NY_sky

捐助贵宾 (著名写手)

[求助] 一句话润色,请高手帮忙,过年好!

中文:随着世界人口的剧增和工业化与城镇化进程的不断加快,水环境中重金属和抗生素的污染已然成为当前亟待解决的焦点问题,严重威胁生态环境和人类健康。
英文:With the rapid increase of the world population and the accelerating process of industrialization and urbanization, the pollution of heavy metals and antibiotics in the water environment has become the focus problem to be solved urgently, which is a serious threat to the ecological environment and human health.
晰晰最棒,晰晰加油,让我们变得更富有,生活变得更加美丽。
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littlepoint

木虫 (职业作家)

抽象名词运用太多,弱化了表达!

发自小木虫Android客户端

» 本帖已获得的红花(最新10朵)

2楼2019-02-08 21:35:38
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NY_sky

捐助贵宾 (著名写手)

送红花一朵
引用回帖:
2楼: Originally posted by littlepoint at 2019-02-08 21:35:38
抽象名词运用太多,弱化了表达!

谢谢你。
晰晰最棒,晰晰加油,让我们变得更富有,生活变得更加美丽。
3楼2019-02-08 22:24:59
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frozenfox7

专家顾问 (正式写手)

【答案】应助回帖

中文:随着世界人口的剧增和工业化与城镇化进程的不断加快,水环境中重金属和抗生素的污染已然成为当前亟待解决的焦点问题,严重威胁生态环境和人类健康。
英文:With the rapid increase of the world population and the accelerating process of industrialization and urbanization, the pollution of heavy metals and antibiotics in the water environment has become the focus problem to be solved urgently, which is a serious threat to the ecological environment and human health.

After:
第一种:侧重强调问题很严重,直译。
With the rapid growth of the global population, industrialization, and urbanization, the increasing pollution of heavy metals and antibodies in the water environment should be urgently addressed for its devastating impacts in the ecological environment and public health.

第二种:重点强调如何解决问题
How to control the increasing pollution of heavy metals and antibodies in the water environment that leads to ecological hazard and risks public health has become an urgent need in the context of the rapid growth of the global population, industrialization, and urbanization.

第三种:语气更温和,没有第二种强烈。
Water environment protection from increasing heavy metals and antibodies that risk both the ecological environment and public health has become an urgent need in the context of the rapid growth of the global population, industrialization, and urbanization.

自己看着组装或者根据你后文调整吧。
4楼2019-02-08 23:52:59
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frozenfox7

专家顾问 (正式写手)

【答案】应助回帖

补充一句:
impacts 那里可以用“impacts on” 或者“in”, both works.
"impacts in" is especially used to refer to fields, areas, etc. in which the effect occurs.
"impacts on"习惯用语。

impact on <object>
impact in <scope/context>
5楼2019-02-08 23:58:35
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frozenfox7

专家顾问 (正式写手)

【答案】应助回帖

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ...
NY_sky: 金币+100, 翻译EPI+1, ★★★★★最佳答案, 认认真真的拜读了大神的神作,受益匪浅,感激, 感谢! 2019-02-09 10:43:34
FYI: 我用的both works,是一种口语化的谬误,比如Quora上经常会有这样的答案:
In the normal and most usual context, we use “both are correct", but say, you are writing a character who is an English teacher and someone asks him/her the correct word, the s/he would say: “both is correct”.
这有点类似于I didn't do nothing来替代I didn't do anything.
Grammatically上严格的讲是不能这么用的,但是近几年美国口语上比较不忌讳,所以想到就直接写出来了,英文写作初学阶段的人不要学我。。
6楼2019-02-09 00:57:38
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