24小时热门版块排行榜    

查看: 3275  |  回复: 10

不要放弃

铁虫 (小有名气)

[求助] 自用套磁信模板——已拟好,求帮检查语法等错误,有悬赏!攒人品加油啊兄弟们 已有1人参与

以下两段请各位虫友们重点帮着检查检查哈,语法有不太确定的地方~~

After browsing your website and would like to learn more about it.I understand that XXX This project also fits me well since I have strong professional background in XXX  Now, I want to do more valuable, interesting and challenging research related to XXX in my PhD study, especially theXXX . This is the major reason for my PhD application.

Several years of assiduous learning has allowed me to lay a solid theoretical foundation I have equipped myself with some computer programming and the team I cooperated with won the first prize in the National Robot Championship, also, I could use softwares like Python, stata and so on. .My undergraduate GPA is XXX and postgrauate one is XXX , with many professional courses scores ranking first in the class. I also improved independent thinking and problem-solving competence greatly through participating in practice and research. My undergraduate thesis is on the subject of “XXX” and gets an Outstanding Paper nomination among 4500 graduates. Besides, I have published a paper as the first author in XXX, proposing a new perspective in the potential impact of A, B on C I have got a Band 7 in my first IELTS exam, with nearly full mark for the reading. During graduate period, I followed Prof. xxx  to conduct research on xxx


一起加油一起努力
如果留学DIY有什么问题也欢迎一起交流哈
回复此楼
已阅   回复此楼   关注TA 给TA发消息 送TA红花 TA的回帖
回帖支持 ( 显示支持度最高的前 50 名 )

cqnudl

铁虫 (小有名气)

【答案】应助回帖

★ ★ ★ ★ ★
不要放弃: 金币+5, ★★★很有帮助, 谢谢 2018-06-19 10:37:01
哥们,为了方便改写,我复制一遍哈~

原来:After browsing your website and would like to learn more about it.I understand that XXX This project also fits me well since I have strong professional background in XXX  Now, I want to do more valuable, interesting and challenging research related to XXX in my PhD study, especially theXXX . This is the major reason for my PhD application.

第一处:would like to learn more 缺主语
第二处:建议把also去掉,在this project 前面加上besides
第三处:建议把major换成main
(ps:语法错误不多,但是读起来有点奇怪)

Several years of assiduous learning has allowed me to lay a solid theoretical foundation I have equipped myself with some computer programming and the team I cooperated with won the first prize in the National Robot Championship, also, I could use softwares like Python, stata and so on. .My undergraduate GPA is XXX and postgrauate one is XXX , with many professional courses scores ranking first in the class. I also improved independent thinking and problem-solving competence greatly through participating in practice and research. My undergraduate thesis is on the subject of “XXX” and gets an Outstanding Paper nomination among 4500 graduates. Besides, I have published a paper as the first author in XXX, proposing a new perspective in the potential impact of A, B on C I have got a Band 7 in my first IELTS exam, with nearly full mark for the reading. During graduate period, I followed Prof. xxx  to conduct research on xxx

总体印象:有点炫技的感觉而不是表达
第一处:建议also换成In addition
第二处:说到GPA时候中式表达严重,应该说 GPA分别为 aaa 和 bbb 在本科和硕士阶段,后面 ranking 1st place in the class
第三处:I also improved 换成 what's more + the independent thinking and problem-solving ability were greatly cultivated by participating in practices and researches.

楼主,你雅思都7分 阅读9分了,怎么感觉写的东西怪怪的。。。

临睡前看看,望采纳
3楼2018-06-19 01:16:55
已阅   回复此楼   关注TA 给TA发消息 送TA红花 TA的回帖

那半句誓言

金虫 (正式写手)

这封信看的我起鸡皮疙瘩 建议楼主去掉很酷的单词 从句 无关的话。

发自小木虫IOS客户端
4楼2018-06-19 04:23:13
已阅   回复此楼   关注TA 给TA发消息 送TA红花 TA的回帖

sugeng2000

新虫 (正式写手)

感觉你写的有点多,第一封陶瓷,就介绍你是哪个学校的,研究方向是什么,然后对外导方向很感兴趣就行

发自小木虫Android客户端
6楼2018-06-19 10:38:43
已阅   回复此楼   关注TA 给TA发消息 送TA红花 TA的回帖
普通回帖

不要放弃

铁虫 (小有名气)

不要沉不要沉啊
2楼2018-06-18 22:58:49
已阅   回复此楼   关注TA 给TA发消息 送TA红花 TA的回帖

不要放弃

铁虫 (小有名气)

引用回帖:
4楼: Originally posted by 那半句誓言 at 2018-06-19 04:23:13
这封信看的我起鸡皮疙瘩 建议楼主去掉很酷的单词 从句 无关的话。

谢谢
5楼2018-06-19 10:37:52
已阅   回复此楼   关注TA 给TA发消息 送TA红花 TA的回帖

sugeng2000

新虫 (正式写手)

外导要是给你回信,有的会给你几篇他的文章,让你细读之后,谈感想。你可以在这个时候和他详细谈你做的东西

发自小木虫Android客户端
7楼2018-06-19 10:40:59
已阅   回复此楼   关注TA 给TA发消息 送TA红花 TA的回帖

sugeng2000

新虫 (正式写手)

第一封套磁信,过长,会当垃圾邮件的

发自小木虫Android客户端
8楼2018-06-19 10:41:59
已阅   回复此楼   关注TA 给TA发消息 送TA红花 TA的回帖

不要放弃

铁虫 (小有名气)

引用回帖:
8楼: Originally posted by sugeng2000 at 2018-06-19 10:41:59
第一封套磁信,过长,会当垃圾邮件的

好的谢谢
9楼2018-06-19 10:47:18
已阅   回复此楼   关注TA 给TA发消息 送TA红花 TA的回帖

不要放弃

铁虫 (小有名气)

引用回帖:
7楼: Originally posted by sugeng2000 at 2018-06-19 10:40:59
外导要是给你回信,有的会给你几篇他的文章,让你细读之后,谈感想。你可以在这个时候和他详细谈你做的东西

谢谢建议~
10楼2018-06-19 10:47:51
已阅   回复此楼   关注TA 给TA发消息 送TA红花 TA的回帖
相关版块跳转 我要订阅楼主 不要放弃 的主题更新
最具人气热帖推荐 [查看全部] 作者 回/看 最后发表
[基金申请] 2026国自然函评费到账 +7 羊腰板 2026-08-21 7/350 2026-08-21 21:28 by iwuli
[基金申请] 今日不放榜?网传国自然预计 8 月 27 日可查结果 +16 医学老男孩 2026-08-20 20/1000 2026-08-21 21:13 by Ldrop2023
[基金申请] 科研孤儿太难了 +17 我4大白菜 2026-08-20 18/900 2026-08-21 20:57 by zhangev
[基金申请] filecode,4个jtjc了 +11 ziyangfang 2026-08-19 14/700 2026-08-21 16:51 by applepetty
[基金申请] 感觉是下周放榜了 +7 angus9576 2026-08-17 12/600 2026-08-21 13:38 by weiyin
[基金申请] 我面上完蛋了 +7 且听虎啸 2026-08-20 8/400 2026-08-21 12:31 by 酷酷墨镜
[基金申请] 只有每年这种时候来逛逛小木虫 +23 yaoyewhu2008 2026-08-20 25/1250 2026-08-21 12:19 by Poppy1104
[基金申请] 今天基金会出结果吗?20260819 +15 kkkl_v 2026-08-19 16/800 2026-08-21 11:22 by 365372687
[基金申请] 应该是下周三26日公布了吧? +4 哈哈蛤? 2026-08-21 4/200 2026-08-21 10:58 by Vivilian
[论文投稿] 投稿咨询 +5 wwm09 2026-08-17 7/350 2026-08-21 10:11 by 期刊论文帮手
[基金申请] 今天放榜没戏了吧 +9 yuleib84 2026-08-19 11/550 2026-08-21 10:06 by gltch
[基金申请] 基金啊基金 +4 longfie172 2026-08-20 4/200 2026-08-21 08:58 by mark mao
[基金申请] 时间戳今天,20号变了 +4 archvillain 2026-08-20 4/200 2026-08-21 08:10 by gatelove
[基金申请] 今天系统多次维护,明天很可能放榜! +10 zju2000 2026-08-16 11/550 2026-08-20 20:02 by cl479861084
[基金申请] 时间戳变了,能看出什么问题? +18 基诺咪客 2026-08-17 23/1150 2026-08-20 17:19 by Godzela
[教师之家] 为什么余额宝的年化利率越来越低?主要原因有哪些? +5 瞬息宇宙 2026-08-15 5/250 2026-08-19 20:23 by super2002521
[基金申请] 2027广东省杰青 +4 奶牛小黑 2026-08-15 10/500 2026-08-19 11:02 by wanfengnew
[基金申请] 朋友圈看到的 +6 wangzilk 2026-08-18 8/400 2026-08-19 10:55 by Haru815
[基金申请] 明天放榜? +5 Shxjjxjkx 2026-08-18 5/250 2026-08-18 18:14 by -大大大大大-
[基金申请] 93BebMhtakh前后11位开头都是大写 +4 且听虎啸 2026-08-17 5/250 2026-08-18 00:49 by 蔡棒棒菂
信息提示
请填处理意见