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马池跃铁杆木虫 (正式写手)
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本人菜鸟一个，第一次写论文，外审专家说语言不过关，极难读懂，本人在修改的时候一些疑惑请大神们给点建议，在此先谢过了。 1、work roll (WR) axial force was 0.5%-1% of rolling force under of good assembly condition, and about 5% of rolling force under roll crossing condition.文中and后面这句对吗？ 2、1700mm cold rolling mill in Wuhan Steel Co. was 5% of rolling force in the normal state. 其中the 对吗，不加可以吗？不加the需要加冠词吗还是state复数形式？ 3、resulted in the dynamic crossing of roll system and dynamic growth of axial force 还是resulted in the roll system dynamic crossing and axial force dynamic growth 那个对为什么？科技英语中用名词做定语还是of短语好？ 4、It is of great significance for both controlling plate thickness and shape and prolonging the service life of rolling mills to explore the cause of screwdown load deviation. 还是 It is of great significance both for controlling plate thickness and shape and prolonging the service life of rolling mills to explore the cause of screwdown load deviation.还是It is of great significance both for controlling thickness and shape of plates and prolonging the service life of rolling mills to explore the cause of screwdown load deviation.那句更地道更准确？ 5、the value of work roll (WR) axial force was 0.5%-1% of rolling force under good assembly condition, and it was about 5% of rolling force under roll crossing condition. 还是 the value of work roll (WR) axial force was 0.5%-1% of rolling force under good assembly condition, and about 5% of rolling force under roll crossing condition.更好 ，更地道 6、The ref [4] investigated work roll axial movement of Capital Steel Corporation four-high plate mill.其中the ref 的the不加行吗？科技论文中定冠词the和不定冠词a或者an怎么使用，特别乱，不会用。 7、Previous person have done a lot of research about thrust force calculating and testing work.其中about thrust force calculating and testing work对吗还是about calculating and testing of thrust force . 8、but the author did not give the mechanism and calculation model for the influence of axial force on screwdown load deviation我想表达：“但作者并未给出轴向力对轧制支反力偏差的影响机理和计算模型”，这句话表达对吗？ 9、It may lead the screwdown load on the DS stands to increase while on the WS stands to decrease. If the gaps in the WS housing are large, while in the DS housing are small, 句子中while使用 的对吗可以连接两个宾语补足语吗？还用这种表达在科技论文中合适吗？ |
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武汉一心一译 
捐助贵宾 (著名写手)
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马池跃: 金币+10, 翻译EPI+1, ★★★很有帮助 2015-05-21 16:27:32
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马池跃: 金币+10, 翻译EPI+1, ★★★很有帮助 2015-05-21 16:27:32
马池跃(RXMCDM代发): 金币+5 2015-05-23 00:04:51
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1、work roll (WR) axial force 【accounted for】 0.5%-1% of rolling force under good assembly condition, and 【for】 5% of rolling force under roll crossing condition. 2、1700mm cold rolling mill in Wuhan Steel Co. was 5% of rolling force in the normal state. 其中the 对吗，不加可以吗？不加the需要加冠词吗还是state复数形式？可以不加the， in normal state 就是个词组。另外 was 可以换成其它的词语，例如【accounted for; occupied; 这里选择occupied吧 】 3、resulted in the dynamic crossing of roll system and dynamic growth of axial force 还是resulted in the roll system dynamic crossing and axial force dynamic growth 那个对为什么？科技英语中用名词做定语还是of短语好？加of好，科技英语中习惯用 “名词 +of ” 4、It is of great significance for both controlling plate thickness and shape and prolonging the service life of rolling mills to explore the cause of screwdown load deviation. 还是 It is of great significance both for controlling plate thickness and shape and prolonging the service life of rolling mills to explore the cause of screwdown load deviation. 还是It is of great significance both for controlling thickness and shape of plates and prolonging the service life of rolling mills to explore the cause of screwdown load deviation.哪句更地道更准确？ 第三个相对要好些，但是还是有点问题，可以改成“Both controlling thickness and shape of plates and prolonging the service life of rolling mills are of great importance in exploring the cause of screwdown load deviation” 5、the value of work roll (WR) axial force was 0.5%-1% of rolling force under good assembly condition, and it was about 5% of rolling force under roll crossing condition. 还是 the value of work roll (WR) axial force was 0.5%-1% of rolling force under good assembly condition, and about 5% of rolling force under roll crossing condition.更好 ，更地道 请见参见问题1， the value of work roll (WR) axial force accounted for 0.5%-1% of rolling force under good assembly condition, and for about 5% of rolling force under roll crossing condition. 6、The ref [4] investigated work roll axial movement of Capital Steel Corporation four-high plate mill.其中the ref 的the不加行吗？科技论文中定冠 词the和不定冠词a或者an怎么使用，特别乱，不会用。 我觉得不加比较好， 但是为了避免这种情况，可以用"In ref [4] it investigated"7、Previous person have done a lot of research about thrust force calculating and testing work.其中about thrust force calculating and testing work对吗还是about calculating and testing of thrust force . “about calculating and testing of thrust force”这个更好；另一方面，previous person听着怪怪，一般不这么表达，可以用“Previous researchers” 后面“research about”改成“studies on”以免重复。 8、but the author did not give the mechanism and calculation model for the influence of axial force on screwdown load deviation我想表达：“但作者并未给出 轴向力对 轧制支反力偏差的 影响机理 和 计算模型”，这句话表达对吗？ 不对，应该改成 "however, the author did not present the influence mechanism or the calculation model of axial force upon screwdown load deviation." 9、It may lead the screwdown load on the DS stands to increase while on the WS stands to decrease. If the gaps in the WS housing are large, while in the DS housing are small, 句子中while使用 的对吗可以连接两个宾语补足语吗？还用这种表达在科技论文中合适吗？ while 可以用，但是句子结构不对，可以改成 “It may lead the increase of screwdown load on the DS stands, while the decrease of on the WS stands. And if the gaps in the WS housing are large, the gaps in the DS housing are small” |
2楼2015-05-21 12:37:22
genhunter
至尊木虫 (著名写手)
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3楼2015-05-21 12:48:44
马池跃
铁杆木虫 (正式写手)
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4楼2015-05-21 13:04:27
马池跃
铁杆木虫 (正式写手)
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5楼2015-05-21 13:05:50
genhunter
至尊木虫 (著名写手)
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6楼2015-05-21 13:10:50
genhunter
至尊木虫 (著名写手)
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7楼2015-05-21 13:12:09
马池跃
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8楼2015-05-21 13:41:18
武汉一心一译
捐助贵宾 (著名写手)
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9楼2015-05-21 16:46:46
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