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[转贴]应高度重视对外翻译问题
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黄卫峰：应高度重视对外翻译问题——以2006年中国政府白皮书（英文版）为例 时间:2007年4月16日 作者：黄卫峰（北京外国语大学博士后研究人员） 来源:学术批评网 提要：本文以中国政府门户网站上刊登的2006年《中国老年事业的发展》白皮书中英版为对象，通过对比研究发现，该文件英文版在理解和表达方面还有不少需要加以改进的地方。翻译问题存在于词、句、篇章等各个层次上，其中理解不准确和表达累赘问题最为突出。为了确保翻译质量，建议政府部门应设立有中外专家参加的政府文件翻译顾问组。另外，由于政府文件内容往往涉及许多专业领域，需要翻译者与各专业人士通力合作，才能做到理解正确、专业术语翻译准确规范。 引 言 随着中国改革开放事业顺利推进和经济持续迅速地发展，其在世界政治和经济格局中的地位日益重要。尤其是加入世界贸易组织以来，中国与世界的联系更加密切，各国更加重视中国的发展经验和对各种国际问题的表态，而中国政府也希望向世界介绍中国的发展情况，让世界了解中国政府的各种方针政策。在这种形势下，越来越多的政府文件需要翻译成英文。其中，每年发表的政府白皮书理所当然地成为外国人了解中国形势和政府政策最重要、最权威的来源，其译文的重要性也就不言而喻了。 在这种形势下，近年来，对外宣传翻译也就成为翻译研究中的热门话题。翻译研究的权威刊物《中国翻译》开辟了相关专栏供学者们交流经验和意见。翻译家和学者们从实践和理论的角度对外宣翻译的重要性、外宣翻译的特点和原则、外宣翻译中存在的问题进行了比较系统的探讨和分析，并提出了不少建议。对外宣工作中翻译的重要性，学者们有着深刻的认识，指出外宣翻译不仅“是决定外宣效果的最直接因素”，（爱泼斯坦、林戊荪、沈苏儒，2000：2），而且“是一个国家对外交流水平和人文环境建设的具体体现”。（黄友义，2005：31）因此，作为一种“门面工作”，外宣翻译必须严肃认真，尽量避免各种错误与缺陷，因为这种错误“会被放大来看”。 （黄友义，2005：31）外宣翻译与其他翻译既有相同之处，需要遵循基本的翻译标准，也存在很大差别，具有自己的独特性，其中主要表现为政治性强、要求高度的精确、以译文为重点等。因此，外宣翻译具有自己的原则，需要坚持“三贴近”（贴近中国发展的实际，贴近国外受众对中国信息的需求，贴近国外受众的思维习惯）（黄友义，2004：27）。在翻译策略上，由于外宣翻译的目的是“让译文受者明确无误地理解和把握译文所传递的信息要旨” （袁晓宁，2005：75），因此要做到“内外有别”（爱泼斯坦、林戊荪、沈苏儒，2000：2），在风格、措辞、文化背景等方面需要充分考虑中外差异和外国读者的需求，以自然段为单位，忠实再现原文意义。（袁晓宁，2005），针对外宣中出现的种种问题，学者们进行了分析，并提出了许多中肯可行的建议，如“建立对外外文工作的检查、咨询、服务机构。要延揽国外以外语为母语的专家……要设立专门的服务机构，所有对外外文材料（小至一句话的口号、大至一本小册子）都由这样的机构审阅、修改、润饰。”（爱泼斯坦、林戊荪、沈苏儒，2000：4） 然而，令人遗憾的是，迄今为止，对外宣传翻译的质量仍不能令人乐观。不仅地方外宣工作翻译问题严重，而且连一些中央政府文件的翻译也存在一些问题。本文以中国政府门户网站上刊登的2006年《中国老年事业的发展》白皮书中英版为对象，通过对比研究发现，该文件英文版在理解和表达方面还有许多需要加以改进的地方。翻译问题存在于词、句、篇章等各个层次上，其中理解不准确、汉化句式和表达累赘问题最为突出。 为了便于系统分析，突出问题所在，本文对英文版中存在的问题作了大致分类。但需要指出的是，各种分类之间存在重合之处，如句子理解与汉化句式之间就存在密切关系，而且这种分类没有作严格意义上的科学界定，只是出于讨论方便的需要。如有不当之处，敬请专家学者批评指正。 |
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六、分段不符合英语思维模式 在英文版中经常出现将中文版的一段分隔成两段以上的情况。这种做法原则上是可以的，因为中文里有时一段话涉及到两个以上的主题，而英文中，一个好的段落一般只围绕一个主题展开。该白皮书英文版有的段落在这点上处理得非常好。如： 中国的老龄事业取得的成就有目共睹。但是，作为有着13亿人口的发展中国家，中国的老龄事业还存在着问题和不足。例如，老龄法律法规还不够健全，侵害老年人合法权益的现象时有发生；社会保障制度尚需完善，一些城镇生活困难老年人的保障水平较低，部分农村老年人口的贫困问题还比较突出；全社会尊老敬老的社会氛围有待于进一步形成，等等。在中国，解决好老龄问题，促进老龄事业不断发展，任务十分艰巨。当前，中国老年人口正以年均约3%的速度增长，面对日益严峻的人口老龄化挑战，中国政府将积极采取更加有效的战略措施，努力推动老龄事业与经济社会协调发展，促进老年人共享经济社会发展成果。 China has made obvious achievements in its undertakings for the aged. However, as a developing country with a population of 1.3 billion, China still has problems and shortcomings in the work concerning elderly people. For example, laws and regulations concerning senior citizens need further improvement, and there are still acts infringing on the legitimate rights and interests of elderly people; the social security system is yet to be perfected; elderly people with difficulties in their everyday lives in some urban areas do not have adequate social security; the problem of impoverished elderly people in some rural areas is still conspicuous; and a social atmosphere of respecting elderly people needs to be further developed. In China, the task of solving problems concerning elderly people and continuously promoting the development of undertakings for the aged remains an arduous one. At present, the population of senior citizens in China is growing by three percent every year. Facing the growing challenge of the ageing population, the Chinese government will adopt more effective strategies to promote the undertakings for the aged in coordination with economic and social development, in order to enable senior citizens to share the fruits of economic and social development. 明显可以看出，上述中文段落涉及两方面主题：“成就”和“问题”。英文版按照英语思维模式，作了分段处理，每一段都以一个主题句开始，这样做避免了段落过长的缺点，使篇章结构更加合理。然而令人遗憾的是，在该白皮书的英文版中，这一原则却没有得到自始至终的贯彻，有的地方随意性太强。 1、中国政府重视老龄法律法规政策的宣传普及工作，把《中华人民共和国老年人权益保障法》纳入“三五”（1996—2000年）、“四五”（2001—2005年）和“五五”（2006—2010年）普法计划，开展了形式多样的宣传学习活动，强化全社会维护老年人合法权益的法律意识和老年人的自我保护意识。各级政府采取多种形式，大力弘扬中华民族敬老养老的优良传统，提高社会的敬老意识和水平。各地普遍设立老人节或敬老日，在每年中国传统节日重阳节和本地敬老节日期间，政府有关部门积极组织大型宣传教育活动和敬老活动。各地把青少年作为宣传教育的重点，将敬老教育内容纳入中小学教学课程，在青少年中开展“敬老爱老助老主题教育活动”，弘扬敬老养老的社会风尚。 The Chinese government attaches importance to publicizing and popularizing laws, regulations and policies concerning senior citizens. It has included the Law of the People's Republic of China on the Protection of the Rights and Interests of Elderly People in the Third Five-Year (1996-2000), Fourth Five-Year (2001-2005) and Fifth Five-Year (2006-2010) plans on spreading general knowledge of the law, and launched educational activities in varied forms, strengthening the people's awareness of the importance of protecting seniors' legitimate rights and interests, as well as seniors' self-protection awareness. Governments at all levels have adopted a variety of methods to invigorate the tradition of the Chinese nation of respect and support for elderly people, and improve people's awareness of the importance of respecting seniors. Senior Citizens' Day is celebrated nationwide. On the Double Ninth Festival (the ninth day of the ninth lunar month) and local Senior Citizens' Day, government departments concerned actively organize large- scale educational activities and activities for respecting senior citizens. Local governments target teenagers for education in respect for senior citizens, include relevant content in primary and middle school courses, and conduct the Educational Activity of Respecting, Loving and Helping Senior Citizens among teenagers, and boost a sound social environment for giving respect to and providing for the aged. 问题：分析上述中文段落可以看出，这段的中心思想是介绍各级政府在老年工作方面所做的努力：普及老年法规政策，弘扬敬老、养老的优良传统，弘扬敬老、养老的社会风尚。也可以理解为中央政府和地方政府在老年工作方面所采取的措施。应该说层次分明。但英文版没有把这种层次感充分体现出来，尤其是分段的位置完全没有任何根据。第一段最后一句是关于老年节的，而第二段第一句也是关于老年节的，按照英语思维特点，这两句话毫无疑问应放在一起。因此，如果要分成两段的话，那么英文版应该作如下处理： The Chinese government attaches importance to publicizing and popularizing laws, regulations and policies concerning senior citizens. It has included the Law of the People's Republic of China on the Protection of the Rights and Interests of Elderly People in the Third Five-Year (1996-2000), Fourth Five-Year (2001-2005) and Fifth Five-Year (2006-2010) plans on spreading general knowledge of the law, and launched educational activities in varied forms, strengthening the people's awareness of the importance of protecting seniors' legitimate rights and interests, as well as seniors' self-protection awareness. Governments at all levels have adopted a variety of methods to invigorate the tradition of the Chinese nation of respect and support for elderly people, and improve people's awareness of the importance of respecting seniors. Senior Citizens' Day is celebrated nationwide. On the Double Ninth Festival (the ninth day of the ninth lunar month) and local Senior Citizens' Day, government departments concerned actively organize large-scale educational activities and activities for respecting senior citizens. Local governments target teenagers for education in respect for senior citizens, include relevant content in primary and middle school courses, and conduct the Educational Activity of Respecting, Loving and Helping Senior Citizens among teenagers, and boost a sound social environment for giving respect to and providing for the aged. 2、积极发展多种形式的保障制度，把农村特殊老年群体优先纳入社会保障范围。对无劳动能力、无生活来源、无法定赡养人、扶养人，或者其法定赡养人、扶养人确无赡养、扶养能力的农村老年人，由国家实施在吃、穿、住、医、葬方面给予生活照顾和物质帮助的“五保”供养制度。目前，全国享受“五保”供养的老年人达460多万人。对执行计划生育政策的农村独生子女或两女户夫妇，在年满60周岁以后，由中央或地方财政安排专项资金，实施计划生育家庭奖励扶助制度。2005年底，享受该奖励扶助的人群达到135万人。中国政府重视城镇化过程中被征地农民的养老问题，确保被征地农民基本生活和长远生计，逐步将被征地农民纳入社会保障体系。目前已有15个省（自治区、直辖市）出台了被征地农民社会保障办法，约600万人被纳入社会保障范围，筹集资金约500亿元人民币。 China actively develops social security systems of various forms, and priority is given to a special group of elderly people to be covered in the social security system in rural areas. These are elderly people who have lost the ability to work, who have no source of income, and who have no legal guardians whatsoever to support them, or their legal guardians do not have the ability to support them. They enjoy the state's "five guarantees" system, which means that their food, clothing, housing, medical care and burial expenses are taken care of and subsidized by the government. At present, more than 4.6 million elderly people across the country are benefiting from this government policy. For rural couples who have followed the state family planning policy and given birth to only one child (or two daughters), when they turn 60 they receive a bonus from a special fund made available by the central and local governments. By the end of 2005, some 1.35 million people had received such a bonus. The Chinese government pays attention to taking care of elderly farmers whose land has been requisitioned in the process of urbanization. By gradually including those farmers in the social security system, the government makes sure that their basic livelihood is permanently guaranteed. So far, 15 provinces, autonomous regions, and municipalities directly under the central government have drawn up social security policies regarding farmers whose land has been requisitioned. About six million farmers are now covered by social security schemes, and some 50 billion yuan has been raised for this purpose. 问题：原文段落中涉及三个方面，即“五保”老人的养老问题、独生子女夫妇的养老问题和被征地农民的养老问题。因此，按照英语行文习惯，可以分成三个段落。但译文第二段的第一句话应该放在第一段，这样才符合英语思维模式。 3、在政府的引导和扶持下，中国老教授协会、老科技工作者协会、老年法律工作者协会等全国性老年社会团体已发展到13家，分会遍及全国各地。中国老教授协会和老科技工作者协会的个体会员数量超过65万人。各地成立了退休工程师协会、老教育工作者协会、离退休医务工作者协会等一批以老年知识分子为主体的社会团体，组织老年知识分子继续为社会经济发展作贡献。各地重视城乡基层老年群众组织建设，2005年底，城市社区和农村老年人协会发展到31.7万个，在组织广大老年人参与基层社区建设、社会公益活动和维护老年人自身权益等方面发挥了积极作用。 Under the guidance and with the support of the government, 13 national associations for senior citizens have sprung up, including the China Senior Professors Association, Association of Senior Scientists and Technicians and Association of Senior Lawyers, branches of which have appeared all over China. The membership of China Senior Professors Association and Association of Senior Scientists and Technicians together exceed 650,000. In local areas, societies with senior intellectuals as the mainstay have been founded, such as the Association of Retired Engineers, Association of Senior Teaching Staff and Association of Retired Medical Workers, which help their members to continue to make contributions to the social and economic development of China. Local governments attach importance to the building of grassroots senior organizations in urban and rural areas. By the end of 2005, China had 317,000 such associations in both urban and rural areas, playing an active role in organizing large numbers of elderly people to take part in grassroots community construction and public welfare activities, and safeguarding the rights and interests of elderly people. 问题：原文讨论了老年协会的发展情况，大致可以分为两部分，即老年知识分子协会和老年群众组织。第一部分还可以细分为全国性协会和地方协会。因此，译文分为三段，从理论上来说是可以的。但不管怎样分段，显然“各地重视城乡基层老年群众组织建设”作为一个主题句都应该与其后面的展开内容放在一起。然而，译文却把该句相应的英文Local governments attach importance to the building of grassroots senior organizations in urban and rural areas放在第二段末尾，完全不符合英语思维模式。 |
9楼2008-06-29 21:46:14
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第一部分 理解问题 翻译过程说起来简单，不外乎“理解和表达”两个阶段。就理解而言，一种比较普遍的看法是，英译汉比汉译英要困难。中国人阅读中文并理解它应当不成问题。但事实并非如此，因为翻译工作中涉及的理解与一般阅读中所说的理解不是一回事。翻译中所说的理解是全方位、深层次的理解。全方位的理解指不仅要理解每一个词、句子的意思，还要分析句子之间的逻辑关系和段落、篇章的结构。所谓深层次的理解指不仅要看懂字面意思，更要理解深层含义。高层次的汉译英同样存在理解方面的问题，尤其是材料的专业性较强而译者又缺乏相关背景知识时。但在实际翻译工作中，由于种种原因，译者往往是仅有皮毛理解就开始动手翻译，结果导致误译和死译。《中国老年事业的发展》白皮书也同样存在一些这方面的问题。 一、词语理解 词语是翻译的最基本单位。但词的理解不能脱离上下文。以“市”为例，按照我国目前的行政划分，有县级市、地级市、直辖市等不同层次。所以不能看到“市”就翻译成city。还有的词语具有很强的中国特色，如我国行政区域划分中的“旗”，我国独特的参政议政民主措施“信访”等。翻译时如何处理，见仁见智，值得进行深入探讨。但笔者以为，我们要遵循一个基本原则，即以译文受者理解为前提。下面的例子都存在类似问题，提出来供大家讨论。 1、各级政府部门加强信访工作，畅通群众监督的渠道。老年人通过信访主张自己的权利，反映意见和建议。2005年，全国老龄工作机构共受理老年人来信来访近40万件（次）。Government departments at all levels are improving the work of handling petitions and visits, in order to make sure that the channel for the people's supervision is unimpeded. By letters and visits, senior citizens protect their rights and air their opinions and advice. In 2005, agencies on ageing around China handled altogether nearly 400,000 letters and visits from senior citizens. 问题：“信访”是一种独特的中国民主制度，如何翻译是一个非常值得探讨的问题。根据2005年5月1日国务院第76次常务委员会通过的新的《信访条例》,信访是指“公民、法人或者其他组织采用书信、电子邮件、传真、电话、走访等形式，向各级人民政府、县级以上人民政府工作部门反映情况，提出建议、意见或者投诉请求，依法由有关行政机关处理的活动。”可见，“信访”作为一种制度，其目的和方式都具有多样性特点，很难找到一个近似的英语单词或短语。目前，笔者所能看到的译文都有待于改进，如letters and visits；complaint letters and people’s visits； complaint letters and visits from civilians; Xinfang (letters and visits)； petition letters and visits； petitions submitted through letters and visits； petitions delivered via letters and visits；letters and visits (xinfang) system；grassroots letters and visits; letters and calls (i.e. letters of complaints from the people and the calls they make to lodge complainst)。我们需要一个比较固定的说法。当然，需要指出的是，该词在不同的语境中，其既可以理解为一种制度。也可以理解为一种方式，翻译时也需要具有灵活性。 在这段话里，“信访”有两种译文：petitions and visits；letters and visits。第一种译文显然存在问题，petitions 和visits两者在意思上并不存在并列关系，一个表示目的，一个表示方式。事实上，我们知道，petitions也是visits的一个目的（但不是唯一的目的）。第二句中，“信访”指一种方式，将其译成by letters and visits有一定道理，但不准确。如上所述，信访并不限于“写信”和“走访”两种形式，在By letters and visits前加一个mainly可能会更恰当。另外， handle visits的搭配也值得商榷，可能正是出于这种考虑，国家信访局网站上提供的信访条例中文版和英文版分别使用了“处理来信、接待来访”handle letters and receive visits的说法。 2、国家建立社会统筹与个人账户相结合的城镇职工基本医疗保险制度，规定退休人员个人不缴纳基本医疗保险费，对个人账户计入金额和个人负担医疗费的比例给予适当照顾。 The state has established a basic medical insurance system which combines the unified planning program with individual accounts for urban employees. Under this system, retirees do not have to pay the basic insurance premiums, and they are given appropriate consideration in the ratio of medical costs paid between what is put into their individual accounts by their former employers and the part they have to pay personally. 问题：这句话涉及医疗保险制度，专业性较强。“个人账户计入金额和个人负担医疗费的比例”如何理解？是分别指“个人帐户计入金额中的比例”（ 据笔者上网查询得知，个人帐户计入金额中，一般要求个人承担8%的费用）和“个人承担医疗费的比例”两种情况？还是如译文所理解的，指“个人账户计入金额”与“个人负担医疗费”之间的比例？第二，译文中添加的by their former employers是否恰当？第三，译文中ratio一词存在用法不当问题，其搭配习惯一般为the ratio of A to B。 3、对执行计划生育政策的农村独生子女或两女户夫妇，在年满60周岁以后，由中央或地方财政安排专项资金，实施计划生育家庭奖励扶助制度。 For rural couples who have followed the state family planning policy and given birth to only one child (or two daughters), when they turn 60 they receive a bonus from a special fund made available by the central and local governments. 问题：这句话中，“计划生育政策”和“独生子女或两女”之间不是并列关系，而是补充说明关系。而译文容易给人一种误解，以为计划生育和独生子女是两种不同的政策。另外，对于没有重男轻女思想的西方来说，译文one child (or two daughters)也令人费解。建议改为：The central and local governments have allocated a special fund as a reward for rural couples over the age of 60 who have followed the state family planning policy to give birth to only one child (usually a boy) or two daughters. 二、句子理解 汉语与英语在句子结构上存在明显不同。汉语造句的两种典型结构是流水句和竹竿句。所谓流水句，指汉语句子以“意尽为界”：“句子的信息容量没有语法形式上的限制，弹性很大，一句接着一句，恰似流水，可以无限制地扩展下去。”因此，汉语的“思维单位似乎不是句子，而是段落。”（蔡基刚，2003：251）所谓竹竿句，指汉语的句式结构犹如竹竿，句子是一个短句一个短句地展开。这些不受主谓框架限制、没有动词形态变化的平行小句，虽然使用相同的句子结构，但表达的内容和句子之间的关系多种多样：“主要的，次要的；或原因的，结果的；或手段的，目的的。”（蔡基刚，2003：259）而英语是一种形态语言，以主谓为中心来构筑句子。在句子结构上，汉语句子以并列为多，而英语以主从结构较多。因此，在汉译英时，要对句子之间的主次关系、逻辑关系进行认真分析，重新组织句子结构。该白皮书英文版在这方面存在问题不少。 1、积极发挥社会力量在老年贫困救助中的作用，推动各地老年基金会等社会团体、企事业单位和个人开展慈善救助和社会互助，创造结对帮扶、认养助养、志愿服务、走访慰问等多种救助形式，普遍为贫困老年人提供多样化扶助。 China should give full play to the role of all social sectors in helping poor elderly people, encouraging NGOs like the old-age foundations to be found all over the country, as well as enterprises, public institutions and individuals to provide charitable and other assistance. Various other forms of assistance are officially encouraged, such as pairing up between a well-off family and a poor elderly person so that the former may give more help to the latter, making commitments to support poor elderly people, doing volunteer work for them or paying visits to convey greetings to them. Therefore, various types of assistance are provided to the poor elderly people. 问题：纵观全文，这份政府白皮书阐述的是政府过去一年来实际做的工作，而不是应该做什么。句子使用should显然与原文语气不符。第二，“推动各地老年基金会等社会团体、企事业单位和个人开展慈善救助和社会互助”与“创造结对帮扶、认养助养、志愿服务、走访慰问等多种救助形式”在意义上不是同一层次的并列关系。因此，译文中的Various other forms of assistance are officially encouraged中的other一词使用不当。第三，encouraging NGOs like the old-age foundations to be found all over the country中的found显然应该改为founded才符合逻辑。 2、在农村，国家实施特困户定期定量救助和临时性生活救助制度。 In the rural areas, the state practices an aid system by which families in most straitened circumstances receive a fixed amount of aid regularly or other livelihood assistance when the need arises. 问题：译者过于拘泥于原文的字句和结构，而且添加了不必要的内容。建议译为In rural areas, the state provides the families in most straitened circumstances with a fixed amount of aid regularly and temporary livelihood assistance. 3、国家还鼓励开展个人储蓄性养老保险，多渠道加强老年人的生活保障。 The state also encourages the development of old-age insurance attached to personal savings deposits; and guarantees the livelihood of elderly people through multiple channels. 问题：原文第二句应该是对第一句所作的补充说明，两句之间存在目的关系。而且，即便译文的理解是正确的，但表达也有问题，分号显然应该改为逗号。因此，译文应改为The state also encourages the development of old-age insurance based on personal savings deposit so as to guarantee the livelihood of elderly people through multiple channels. 4、最高人民法院制定有关司法救助的规定，对贫困老年人的诉讼费用实行缓交、减交和免交。 The Supreme People's Court of China has formulated regulations on judicial assistance, and on postponing, reducing or exempting court costs for poor senior citizens. 问题：分析原文可以看出，“对贫困老年人的诉讼费用实行缓交、减交和免交”是对“司法救助”的具体说明，而不是如译文所表明的那样两者之间是并列关系。 5、全国老龄工作委员会主任由国务院副总理担任，成员单位由国家26个部门组成，委员由各成员单位一位副部长级领导担任。 A vice-premier of the State Council serves as the director of the China National Committee on Ageing, which comprises 26 state-level departments, with one senior leader equivalent to a vice-minister from each department as its representative. 问题：原文的语意重心在于通过其成员组成情况说明全国老龄工作委员会的重要性和广泛性。而译文却没有在认真分析原文的基础上进行重新组织，导致语意重心没有很好地传达出来。建议改为 The China National Committee on Ageing is composed of a vice-premier of the State Council as its director and 26 vice-ministers from relevant departments as its members. 第二部分 表达问题 一、语法错误 1、特别是近年来，中国政府全面贯彻落实科学发展观，积极应对人口老龄化挑战。 Especially in recent years, the Chinese government has implemented the outlook of scientific development in an all-round way and positively meet the challenge posed by the ageing of the population. 问题：撇开其他问题，仅从语法角度而言，这句话就存在主谓数不一致的情况。主语the Chinese government是第三人称单数，而且译文中其后第一个谓语动词也使用了单数形式，为何后一个并列动词形式的使用不一致呢？ 2、新闻媒体围绕老年人权益保障问题开展多种形式的舆论监督。 The news media too has carried out different forms of supervision by public opinion centering on the issue of protecting the rights and interests of senior citizens. 问题：从语法上来说，这句话存在主谓数不一致问题。Media是medium的复数形式，其作主语时谓语动词应用复数形式。如：The media are to blame for starting the rumours.（《牛津高阶英汉双解词典》）而且《牛津词典》对该词的用法专门作了说明，指出：“media（单数为medium）一字有时误用作单数名词。”（Medium is sometimes incorrectly used as a singular noun）并举例予以说明：The medium are (NOT is) often accused of being biased.由此可见，media用作主语时，谓语动词不能使用单数形式。 3、大中城市道路、车站、机场、商场、公交站点、住宅居住区和其他公共建筑的无障碍设施建设发展较快，老年人安居和参与社会生活的设施环境不断改善。 Construction of barrier-free facilities on roads, in stations, airports, shops, at bus stops, in residential areas and other public buildings in large and medium cities have been developing rapidly, creating convenience for senior citizens in their daily lives and enabling them to engage more fully in social activities. 问题：这句话的主语construction是第三人称单数，谓语部分have been developing的助动词have却是复数形式，显然存在主谓数不一致的情况。 4、中国老教授协会和老科技工作者协会的个体会员数量超过65万人。 The membership of China Senior Professors Association and Association of Senior Scientists and Technicians together exceed 650,000. 问题：这句话的主语membership是第三人称单数，谓语动词却用一般现在时第三人称复数形式，也属于主谓数不一致问题。 4、目前已初步形成多层次、多形式、多学制、多学科的老年教育体系。 Today, an educational system for elderly people that is multi-level, multi-form and multi-disciplinary with different lengths of schooling has taken initial shape. 问题：按照英语表达习惯，定语从句that is multi-level, multi-form and multi-disciplinary中的表语部分应该使用形容词形式。但实际上，只有disciplinary一词是形容词，其他两个词level 和form为名词，这样一来还存在结构不平行的问题。而且，with different lengths of schooling的位置容易导致误解，以为其是用来修饰名词multi-disciplinary的。另外，lengths的恰当性值得怀疑。建议改为：So far, an educational system with different levels, forms, disciplines and duration of schooling has taken initial shape. 5、依托省、市、县各级现有群众文化设施多渠道、多层次发展老年教育，努力实现“县县有老年大学”的目标，并逐步向社区、乡镇延伸。 On the basis of existing provincial, municipal and county-level mass cultural facilities, education for seniors has been developing through different channels and at various levels, aiming to achieve the goal of making higher education available for elderly people in every county, and extending to townships and communities. 问题：首先，从原文结构和意思上看，“县县有老年大学的目标”与“逐步向社区、乡镇延伸”不是并列关系，因此译文中不宜处理成平行结构making higher education available for elderly people in every county, and extending to townships and communities。第二，即便可以处理成平行结构，但extend一词的使用仍存在问题。虽然该词既可用作及物动词，也可用作不及物动词，但在这里显然是用作及物动词，所以应该在其后面加it才符合语法。而且and extending前的逗号完全是画蛇添足，造成误导。 |
2楼2008-06-29 21:42:45
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6、积极发展多种形式的保障制度，把农村特殊老年群体优先纳入社会保障范围。对无劳动能力、无生活来源、无法定赡养人、扶养人，或者其法定赡养人、扶养人确无赡养、扶养能力的农村老年人，由国家实施在吃、穿、住、医、葬方面给予生活照顾和物质帮助的“五保”供养制度。 China actively develops social security systems of various forms, and priority is given to a special group of elderly people to be covered in the social security system in rural areas. These are elderly people who have lost the ability to work, who have no source of income, and who have no legal guardians whatsoever to support them, or their legal guardians do not have the ability to support them. They enjoy the state's "five guarantees" system, which means that their food, clothing, housing, medical care and burial expenses are taken care of and subsidized by the government. 问题：从语法角度来说，These are elderly people who have lost the ability to work, who have no source of income, and who have no legal guardians whatsoever to support them, or their legal guardians do not have the ability to support them一句中， or their legal guardians do not have the ability to support them与前面的并列成分不是平行结构。 7、“老有所养、老有所医、老有所教、老有所学、老有所为、老有所乐”是中国老龄事业的发展目标。 China's goals for the development of undertakings for the aged can be described as follows: All elderly people are to be provided for and enjoy proper medical care. They are to be given opportunities to pass on their experience as well as to learn new things. They should be given the opportunity to do what they can for the society, while enjoying their later years. 问题：根据原文，引号内的内容都是中国老龄事业的发展目标。但译文让人误解为只有一个目标，即All elderly people are to be provided for and enjoy proper medical care。因此，后面其他的完整句应使用分号连成一体。 8、发挥土地养老的保障作用，保护包括广大老年人在内的农民土地承包经营权。 Giving full play to the role of the land in ensuring elderly people's livelihood and protecting farmers', including the elderly people's, right to operate land contracted to them. 问题：这句话不是用作标题，不知译者为何突然使用现在分词短语这种片断句？ 9、300多万参保农民领取养老金，当年支付养老保险金21.3亿元人民币。 And more than three million farmers now receive pensions. The total disbursement of old-age insurance payments in 2005 was 2.13 billion yuan. 问题：根据原文上下文，后一句话应该是对前一句的补充说明，因此这两句话应该使用同一时态才符合英语的时态一致原则。但不知为何译文一句使用一般现在时，另一句却使用一般过去时？ 10、2005年底，城市社区和农村老年人协会发展到31.7万个，在组织广大老年人参与基层社区建设、社会公益活动和维护老年人自身权益等方面发挥了积极作用。 By the end of 2005, China had 317,000 such associations in both urban and rural areas, playing an active role in organizing large numbers of elderly people to take part in grassroots community construction and public welfare activities, and safeguarding the rights and interests of elderly people. 问题：按照英语语法，译文中的分词短语playing的逻辑主语是China。但根据原文，其实施者应该是“协会”。而且译文容易导致误解，让人以为这里的playing与safeguarding形成并列关系。因此，建议译文改为：By the end of 2005, in urban and rural communities, 317,000 such associations were established and they played an active role in involving large numbers of elderly people in grassroots community construction, public welfare activities and the protection of their own rights and interests. |
3楼2008-06-29 21:43:19
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二、词语搭配问题 1、开展了创建全国无障碍设施建设示范城（区）活动，北京、上海、天津等12个城市被确定为首批全国无障碍设施建设示范城（区）创建城市。 A campaign to build demonstration cities/districts of barrier-free facilities is being carried out around the country, and 12 cities, including Beijing, Shanghai and Tianjin, have been listed among the first to build such bases. 问题1：这句译文存在介词搭配问题。demonstration cities/districts of barrier- free facilities中的介词of改为with为佳。 2、各级政府采取多种形式，大力弘扬中华民族敬老养老的优良传统，提高社会的敬老意识和水平。 Governments at all levels have adopted a variety of methods to invigorate the tradition of the Chinese nation of respect and support for elderly people, and improve people's awareness of the importance of respecting seniors. 问题：improve people’s awareness存在搭配问题，改为increase people’s awareness为佳。译文the tradition of the Chinese nation of respect and support for elderly people读起来给人一种不顺畅的感觉，建议改为the Chinese tradition of respecting and supporting elderly people。 3、国家积极发展补充性养老保险，引导和扶持有条件的企业为职工建立企业年金，由企业和职工共同缴费，实行基金完全积累，个人账户管理。2005年底，全国已有2.4万家企业建立企业年金，参加职工达924万人。 The state is actively developing supplementary old-age insurance. It guides and helps enterprises with adequate capacity to set up annuities for employees. Both enterprises and employees pay toward the annuity, so that funds are accumulated and managed under individual accounts. By the end of 2005, a total of 24,000 enterprises all over China had set up enterprise annuities, with 9.24 million employees participating. 问题：pay toward the annuity中，pay的用法不正确；在with 9.24 million employees participating中，participate的用法也不正确。另外，根据上下文， enterprise annuities中的enterprise显然多余。 4、中国政府重视老龄法律法规政策的宣传普及工作，把《中华人民共和国老年人权益保障法》纳入“三五”（1996—2000年）、“四五”（2001—2005年）和“五五”（2006—2010年）普法计划，开展了形式多样的宣传学习活动，强化全社会维护老年人合法权益的法律意识和老年人的自我保护意识。 The Chinese government attaches importance to publicizing and popularizing laws, regulations and policies concerning senior citizens. It has included the Law of the People's Republic of China on the Protection of the Rights and Interests of Elderly People in the Third Five-Year (1996-2000), Fourth Five-Year (2001-2005) and Fifth Five-Year (2006-2010) plans on spreading general knowledge of the law, and launched educational activities in varied forms, strengthening the people's awareness of the importance of protecting seniors' legitimate rights and interests, as well as seniors' self-protection awareness. 问题：on spreading general knowledge of the law中的介词on符合英语搭配习惯，建议改为for。plan作名词时，一般与介词for或of搭配；作动词时才与on搭配。而这里的plan显然是名词。 |
4楼2008-06-29 21:44:13