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【答案】应助回帖
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doudounba: 金币+50, 翻译EPI+1, ★★★★★最佳答案, 十分感谢您的帮助，祝您工作学习顺利！ 2015-03-10 11:33:44
主要不妥：
1、第二句话，“Whereas high energy consumption is the choke point to limit the development of that technology.”中，“to limit”改为“that limited”更好；另外，原翻译没有表达出“一直是”，可将“is”改为“has always been”。
2、第三句话，通常选择被动句，主语可以是“high-performance glass-ceramic”，也可以是“microwave technology”，取决于你想突出表达什么意思。
3、第四句话，“In situ high temperature Raman technology is adopted to study the microwave effects to the microcluster structure of the high temperature glass melts and the process of the nucleation and crystallization.”，study后面的部分改为“the effect (or effects) of microwave on the ……”，“the process of the nucleation and crystallization”改为“their nucleation and crystallization process”.
4、第五句话，“And XRD、SEM、FTIR and universal tester is also applied to analysis the relationship between microstructure of the ceramics and macroscopic physical properties.”，“analysis”改为“analyze”，“relation”改为“correlation”，between后面的部分改为“the microstructure of ceramics and ceramics macroscopic physical properties”。
5、第六句话，“In these way, we attempt to reveal the interaction mechanism between microwave and the material in the preparation process， to solve the key problem of high energy consumption in a theoretical level， to provide experimental basis to research and develop microwave equipment which is suited to the industrialization production of ceramic.”，“way”改为“ways”，“microwave”前加“the”，逗号去掉，“to”改为“so as to”，第二个逗号也去掉，“to”改为“and”，“to research and develop”改为“for studying and developing”， “equipment which is suited to the industrialization production of ceramic.”改为“equipments that suit (or satisfy) the industrialized production of ceramics”。
另外，第一句话虽然语法上没太大问题，但读起来似乎不顺畅，如果与第二句合并，改为“The slag of paragenic and associated non-ferrous metals ore which suffered selecting and smelting can be used to product high-performance ceramics, which is a clean and effective way to take advantage of the slag, whereas the high energy consumption related to this technology has always been the choke point that limited its development.”
除此之外，文中涉及的一些专业名词，还需作者自己斟酌，这里没有考虑。
修改的最终结果为：
The slag of paragenic and associated non-ferrous metals ore which suffered selecting and smelting can be used to product high-performance ceramics, which is a clean and effective way to take advantage of the slag, whereas the high energy consumption related to this technology has always been the choke point that limited its development. In this research, high-performance ceramics were prepared using microwave technology, in situ high temperature Raman technology was adopted to study the effect of microwave on the microcluster structure of the high temperature glass melts and their nucleation and crystallization process, and XRD、SEM、FTIR and universal tester were also applied to analyze the correlation between the microstructure of ceramics and ceramics macroscopic physical properties. In these ways, we attempt to reveal the interaction mechanism between the microwave and the material in the preparation process so as to solve the key problem of high energy consumption in the theoretical level and provide experimental basis for studying and developing microwave equipments that suit the industrialized production of ceramics.
最后声明，以上只是我个人意见，难免有不足之处，还望细察！ |
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