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yanjiaying

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[交流] LELTS writing 已有1人参与

那位同学能帮我看看我的这篇作文,指导我下!

Task: Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society .others ,however ,believe that shool is the place to learn this .
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

My answers:
Some people argue that parents have duties to educate youngsters to become a good member of society. I agree with this idea ,although school education has an important effect on children’s growth.

There are 2 main reasons for that parents should guide their children to become a useful person.Firstly ,the law prescribes parents have an unshirkable responsibility to teach their sons or daughters to be well-behaved person .Parents should tell them how to behave well and how to make contribution to the society. If children under 18 years old commit crime ,their parents should be published due to improper education to them. Another reason is that the parents should be a child’s first teacher ,and the family is their first place individual lives. Parents’ behaviors and home environment have a long and profound impact on the formation of individual good manners. These are why many people regard child education as their parents’duties.

Schools are also one of the most important places for children to grow up mentally and physically. In schools ,children can learn how to become a useful person by various ways,such as teachers teaching and peers learning .Because of these children should go to shool to learn job skills and politeness.

Personally, these both these two kinds of education methods are not mutually exclusive.Instead , they have complementary effect on the children guide and teaching.
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yanjiacheng

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小木虫: 金币+0.5, 给个红包,谢谢回帖
你可以根据雅思写作的四项标准试着自己评分吧。从我的观点看,至少两个主体段的布局需要改进吧,第二部分的论证太仓促了。
加油哈。
持黄金为珍贵,知安乐方值千金。
2楼2014-06-22 21:54:16
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