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xfgzju

木虫 (正式写手)

[求助] 下面这句话,如何改的地道一点

The poor chemical affinity between calcite and the silica molecules formed after hydrolysis and condensation of alkoxysilanes and the tendency to crack during shrinkage and drying due to the gel brittleness have been responsible for several studies with the objective of modifying and improving alkoxysilane performance.
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RXMCDM

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真的看不出你想说什么,直接传汉语上来别人好帮你!
2楼2014-02-11 23:17:49
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mac194

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RXMCDM: 金币+1, 多谢应助! 2014-02-12 18:27:10
xfgzju(RXMCDM代发): 金币+7, 多谢应助! 2014-03-15 22:35:36
(感谢奖赏)

另见  https://muchong.com/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=6954761

同一句子的第二种写法

Going beyond the macroscopic - shrinkage, drying, gel weakness, etc - several recent studies point to weak calcite-silica bonding formed during hydrolysis and condensation as the root cause of alkoxysilane cracking. [Wheeler 2005]

"..., etc" 看来随意,但免用一 "and"

"alkoxysilanes" 也只用了一次
下面这句话,如何改的地道一点
Alkoxysilanes and the Consolidation of Stone  page34.jpg

3楼2014-02-12 05:24:38
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phu_grassman

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快乐岛、布吉岛岛主

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RXMCDM: 金币+1, 多谢应助! 2014-02-12 18:27:26
首先句子太长,这是科研论文里应该避免的;其次responsible for要表达的意思是什么呢?
4楼2014-02-12 08:43:43
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befair

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RXMCDM: 金币+1, 多谢应助! 2014-02-12 18:27:38
xfgzju(RXMCDM代发): 金币+7, 多谢应助! 2014-03-15 22:35:07
分析一下:
1. 主要句型是: The poor chemical affinity between A and B + 动词谓语, 原译文用 have been responsible for several studies with the objective of..,的确意义上不大通, 如4楼指出的。可能原意是想说类似于“has been subject for several studies with the objective of... ”. 另外affinity 要求动词是单数的,have been 不妥
2. 那么A 是什么, B又是什么?
如果说A=calcite, B=the silica molecules formed after hydrolysis and condensation of alkoxysilanes, 那么
and the tendency to crack during shrinkage and drying due to the gel brittleness 和谁联系起来呢?或者,如果A= calcite and the silica molecules formed after hydrolysis and condensation of alkoxysilanes。。。, B=the tendency to crack during shrinkage and drying due to the gel brittleness, 会更合理些?
在下不是这个专业的,但楼主应该从逻辑上能确定
先把逻辑搞清楚,再把句子重新组织下,建议用下逗号(用which 从句也行,但觉得会更罗嗦),比如:
The poor chemical affinity between calcite and the silica molecules, formed after hydrolysis and condensation of alkoxysilanes,  and the tendency to crack, during shrinkage and drying due to the gel brittleness, has been the subject of ....
供参考
Befairorbeaware
5楼2014-02-12 10:00:13
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