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冲爷

木虫 (职业作家)

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[交流] My dad , my source

i had a difficult breakup in school, but i got through it eventually. it owed to my dad.
   when most of my friends were bickering with their fathers, i was looking to mine for guidance. he knew more about me than anyone, even myself at times. he traveled for work and so he'd be gone. most people assumed we had a distant relationship because he was not home very often. but we thrived under this situation because we talked every night by phone, and he made his support known when he couldnt be present.
   one night my world just collapsed, and it was my dad who was able to pick up the pieces.
   my first true love called from a party and broke my heart. he offered little explanation and this made the situation all the more difficult to accept. in that one quick phone call i lost my girlfriend and best friend, a comfort i had enjoyed for the past year and a half. i was sure i was the most miserable fifteen –year –old in the word ——lost and lonely. it felt like everyone else's life could just continue on in its normal way, but mine couldnt. i would no longer spend hours on the phone with him each night, and his house would no longer be my home away from home.
      i was forced to deal with my regular routine on Monday morning, as mom went to work, dad flew out on business and i went to school. dad wouldn't  return until Friday. i wasn't sure how i was going to be able to face everyone and their gossip at school. i was right: The questions and the whispering started around second period.
   i returned home from school feeling completely defeated. all i wanted to do was crawl into bed and wallow in my own self–pity. i pulled back the covers on my bed and discovered a pile of cards left by my dad. i recognized the "calligraphy " instantly. each card included an instruction that it was to be opened on a particular night that week. he was faraway and still my dad was able to show he cared.
   i made it through that week because of him. each card seemed to say just what i needed to hear. Tuesday's card said, "the past is painful to think about and the future is impossible to envision. dont try. just take it one minute at time. " on Wednesday my mood lifted when i read, "what you are feeling now is natural and normal. it still feels lousy, but it is part of the healing process. " Friday's card continued a poem he wrote. the last lines made me smile through my tears. whatever special challenges you face along life's way. May you trust that you will find the best in every day. i was instructed to open the last card after the party i went to on Saturday night. in it he sagely reminded me to laugh. "the world isn't so bad after a good laugh. The more you laugh, the more you heal. " each card was singned, "love, dad. "
   even just flipping through the cards made me feel better in the weeks to come. i looked through them most days until i started to forget about them. It was then that i knew that i was healing .

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