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[交流] Academic IELTS writing practice-welcome for corrections

Question:Some people say that it is impossible to live comfortably in big cities. What problems are faced by the people living in big cities? What solutions can be taken to solve those problems?

As population grows, the number of people living and working in big cities increase substantially. Due to this, the city residents encounter many issues that are very hard to resolve without a proper solution. In this regard, this essay will discuss the existing living problems in big cities and possible solutions to address them.

Overcrowded living condition and insufficient transportation capability are two major problems among big cities. To begin with, a overcrowded living condition is the most important factor that has significant impact on the quality of life of city residents. In this case, it is very hard for residents to find a suitable place to do some physical exercise which is a key factor for maintaining body health. In long term, the deteriorated health will have a great influence on social and health resource.  In addition, the traffic jam greatly affect the commuters to travel to work place, especially in the peak hours during week days. For those using private cars, it is also substantially influenced by the traffic congestion. As a result of this, many workers have to get up and depart from home earlier in order to go to work place on time.

Given these two common problems in the big cities, several possible solutions can be implemented to address the issues. To resolve the first problem, constructing several big parks within the city will resolve the first problem in a comprehensive way. The area of the park should be adapted to the density of residents, which will maximally make sure its efficiency and comfort for the public. There is not a proper solution for the second issue given the large population in the city. However, a elevated frequency of public transportation during peak hours will partly combat the problem. Meanwhile, it would be helpful for reducing traffic jam by decreasing the number of private car. This can be achieved via increasing the tax for private vehicles.

In summary, limited entertaining space and crowded transportation have become the major problems of the big cities. It would partly reduce the problem by constructing public parks, increasing frequency of public transports and controlling private vehicles.
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ysm56789

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curton: 回帖置顶 2012-11-29 08:20:20
curton: 金币+30, ESEPI+1, happy employment is not only determined by the basic work related factors, but also personal’s attitude towards the job under many realistic social and personal elements. 2012-11-29 08:20:33
Question: As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?

As a long-term employment accounts for a majority of adult’s life, it is important to maintain the content the job considering people’s general fitness. This essay will discuss the contributing elements and the realistic expectation of a satisfied employment.

There are several factors which influence the degree of happiness during employment. To begin with, a comfortable and clean working environment plays an important role in determining personal job satisfactory level. Working in such place, workers are less likely to suffer from a sense of depression and even sadness after a long period of working time. This factor is likely to be a reason for majority of current psychological illnesses of workers. Secondly, a well rewarding system including salaries, insurance and pension has a positively effect on the attitude of employees.  Only by offering workers a fair prize can those people have a sense of safety and belonging towards the company. Due to fairness of the rewarding system, the workers are likely to work more efficiently to obtain extra benefit.

Regardless of the contributing factors for happiness of the employment, realistic individual’s attitude towards a job is also necessary for a satisfactory employment.  Firstly, it is hard to enjoy while working in a position that is unrelated to the personal skills or experiences. Under the realistic economic climate, many workers have to work in such job in order to survive. Secondly, some jobs that require multiple repetitive and boring tasks are another common reasons for a unsatisfactory work. These are determined by the human nature which everyone has emotion for curiosity. Without such novelty, it is quite hard to enjoy the position in a long period of time.

In conclusion, a happy employment is not only determined by the basic work related factors, but also personal’s attitude towards the job under many realistic social and personal elements.
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4楼2012-11-20 09:18:24
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chaowang3eg

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curton: 回帖置顶 2012-11-29 08:20:46
curton: 金币+5, you can give some advice... 2012-11-29 08:21:03
Due to this, the city residents encounter many issues that are very hard to resolve with a proper solution. In this regard, this essay will discuss the existing living problems in big cities and possible solutions to them.
等等。。。
有些地方明显是在拼凑一些看起来高级的词汇,用的不恰当
行为精英,心为平民
5楼2012-11-20 10:19:31
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