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小木虫论坛-学术科研互动平台 » 出国留学区 » 出国考试 » IBT考试 » 小弟写了篇托福独立作文，快该考了，不知道自己什么水平，求拍砖啊！
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a05376013

铜虫 (小有名气)

[交流] 小弟写了篇托福独立作文，快该考了，不知道自己什么水平，求拍砖啊！

Air is contaminated by industrial production and automobiles. Rivers are polluted with rare fish living in water. Arguing for people living worse than before are those who hold the opinion that environment is becoming more and more hostile for human beings surviving. But I believe people live better and will examine below specific reasons for living conditions that I consider are the most common viewpoints nowadays.

To start with, as is known to all, various implements are equipped into our lives in order to promoting our life quality. For instance, Air-conditions are so popular in families used to modulate temperature warm in winter and cool in summer. Currently, People are able to go to where they want conveniently since transportation systems are more comprehensive than before. Subways regarded as the most crucial solution for traffic jam in the rapid society are established in cities. It takes only about ten hours for people to fly to America visiting the Statue of Liberty and the National Yellow Stone Park, which attract tens of thousands of people from all over the world.

Another essential reason is that we are experiencing the period of information explosion, especially internet being drew into our lives. Undoubtedly, communication between people via phones or computers is more ready and efficient compared with letters used by people ago. In addition, a diversity of knowledge and information can be acquired easily from internet. For example, Courses involved in art, history and psychology are accessible to the whole world offered by Harvard University and Yale University for people who are interested. Many students download these videos and learn them on computers as complements for their courses imparted by teachers.

Admittedly, I should not overlook the fact that, by contrast, there are indeed certain advantages in early time. On one hand, rapid economic development generates a series of environmental issues such as deforestation and global warming. More people die from lung cancer every year because of air pollution caused by human activities. One the other hand, lacking of enough friends, people frequently complain that they feel lonely nowadays. Relationships between people became aloof due to people who engage in their work having no time to contact their families and friends.

In a nutshell, people suffer from some problems resulted from recent environmental disruption. However, the development of science and economy meanwhile supplies us more convenience and comfort, of course not existing before, which serve our daily lives comprising diverse aspects.
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1楼2011-12-24 12:10:38
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jxgznd_zyj

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个人感觉写得挺好. 有部分拼写错误, 如空调Air-conditions. 再仔细检查一下. 说得不好请包涵
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2楼2011-12-24 12:21:17
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joyce.1224

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第二段in order to 后面应该是promote,动词原形才对吧
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3楼2011-12-24 12:25:02
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qqaoqq

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a05376013(金币+1):谢谢参与
good.
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5楼2011-12-24 12:56:05
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a05376013

铜虫 (小有名气)
引用回帖:
楼: Originally posted by jxgznd_zyj at 2011-12-24 12:21:17:
个人感觉写得挺好. 有部分拼写错误, 如空调Air-conditions. 再仔细检查一下. 说得不好请包涵

是啊，考试的时候估计拼写错误更多了，谢谢。。
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7楼2011-12-24 17:14:16
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a05376013

铜虫 (小有名气)
引用回帖:
楼: Originally posted by joyce.1224 at 2011-12-24 12:25:02:
第二段in order to 后面应该是promote,动词原形才对吧

确实，写错了，呵呵
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8楼2011-12-24 17:14:45
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laodalee

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句子写的都挺不简单。呵呵。不错了。应该可以拿到不错的分数吧。
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12楼2011-12-25 20:24:08
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clyp

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very good
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14楼2011-12-27 21:15:24
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a05376013

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楼: Originally posted by laodalee at 2011-12-25 20:24:08:
句子写的都挺不简单。呵呵。不错了。应该可以拿到不错的分数吧。

就是担心自己写的太中国化就麻烦了，呵呵，这个自己拿捏不准。。。。
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16楼2011-12-28 23:09:36
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简单回复
qqllqq4楼
2011-12-24 12:40   回复  
a05376013(金币+1):谢谢参与
祝福！
wxh2286楼
2011-12-24 13:01   回复  
a05376013(金币+1):谢谢参与
weiyu26399楼
2011-12-24 18:40   回复  
a05376013(金币+1):谢谢参与
@1101010楼
2011-12-24 20:01   回复  
a05376013(金币+1):谢谢参与
yingying158811楼
2011-12-24 20:28   回复  
a05376013(金币+1):谢谢参与
祝福祝福
clszdy13楼
2011-12-25 20:54   回复  
a05376013(金币+1):谢谢参与
ai53297888415楼
2011-12-28 20:32   回复  
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