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chrisqiang木虫 (小有名气)
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Girls Should Make the First Move! 已有17人参与
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Girls Should Make the First Move! I feel like most girls (at least ones I know) follow the old-fashioned rule that a guy has to make the first move. And this has been a problem for me in almost every relationship I’ve had.Just to be clear, I don’t have a problem meeting girls, or hanging out with girls. I’ve had a couple of serious relationships, but most were just for fun. Either way, I tend to take things slow, which seems to be the opposite of most other guys. My slow pace usually frustrates girls, though, and some have straight-up asked me, “Why don’t you kiss me?” To that question, the only response I can think of is, “Why don’t you kiss me?” To which the answer is ALWAYS, “the guy should make the first move.” WHY?!? Why are guys expected to make every move? It makes me think of men courting women in the 1800’s. We’ve done away with most of those formalities; why not this one? Don’t get me wrong; I am all for being a gentleman. But I personally like it when a girl shows some initiative. If I have to initiate everything, it seems to me like this girl doesn’t care who I am, she just wants a boy to go through pre-determined steps. I am suggesting that girls take some initiative and don’t just sit back waiting to be swept off their feet. I think relationships should be reciprocal (because girls throwing themselves at you can also be very unattractive, but that’s another story…). I’ll give you a personal example. I met this girl at work about a year ago. We worked the same shift together once a week for a few weeks, and realized we had quite a bit in common, so I asked her if she wanted to hang out after work one night. We went to her house and watched a movie, talking throughout the entire thing. I was enjoying the conversation so much I didn’t even know what the movie was about after it ended. We hugged and I went home. The next week after work, we had a similar night, working late, then watching a movie, this time at my house. At the end of the night we hugged again, but then she lingered, obviously waiting for something. She got awkward and left, then texted me a few minutes later apologizing for the awkwardness. I think since I asked her to hang out both times, it seems only fair that if she wants to kiss me, she can take the initiative. Now sure, I thought about kissing her when she lingered, but from my perspective, I didn’t want things to be weird at work, and I was really enjoying just hanging out with her. Girls misinterpret that kind of restraint as me not liking them, when in fact I am even more cautious if I do like a girl. In a way I almost feel like there is a double standard here. Girls don’t want a guy who only thinks about sex, but here I am getting in trouble for not thinking about it enough! I am asking for your opinions because I feel like I could use some more insight on this. I’ve run it by some friends, but they insist I am just lazy. The problem is I feel like I am being nice, but girls unfortunately just see it as me being timid. Here I am just enjoying a girl’s company and all she's thinking is, why is he not making a move? |
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xiou08
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9楼2011-12-12 16:01:55
古可ぷ
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2楼2011-12-12 00:29:40
aman1987
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3楼2011-12-12 09:35:16
五四青年
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小木虫(金币+0.5):给个红包，谢谢回帖
古可ぷ(金币+5, 外语EPI+1): good words，you perspectives is deeply 。if you deep in love ，things will move with naturally。that‘s instinct of us 。but also there are men of this type as the threader’s writing 2011-12-12 11:37:15
小木虫(金币+0.5):给个红包，谢谢回帖
古可ぷ(金币+5, 外语EPI+1): good words，you perspectives is deeply 。if you deep in love ，things will move with naturally。that‘s instinct of us 。but also there are men of this type as the threader’s writing 2011-12-12 11:37:15
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There are men who are of this type. But if you think you are ready for the next move, why not? I guess, in your case, you are reluctant to take the initiative just because you are not ready--or you are not 100% sure whether you want the relationship to develop in that direction. It's hard to imagine a man not wanting to take the move if he is with a girl he is in deep love. I don't mean a man should kiss a girl only after hanging out twice with her--which i myself think too hasty. Mind you, I was born in 70s, meaning I'm quite old-fashioned in this respect. At the same time, I personally think men should make the first move. you may think that i am too conversative in this respect like any of my generation. But, in a serious relationship, especially one that is inteneded for marriage, women are always the more vulnerable side. i guess this has something to do with their physiology like having a baby and not being able to work while breeding their babies. Thereore, they have to testify whether the man love them enough to make the move! of course, there are too many young girls who care more about the romance and emotions rather than a marriage. Then it does not matter who make the move. What relationship are you seeking? |
4楼2011-12-12 11:13:44
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