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小木虫论坛-学术科研互动平台 » 科研生活区 » English Cafe » Diary » 【Original】求修改: writing sample for a specific topic (for Dr. entrance
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idance

金虫 (正式写手)

[交流] 【Original】求修改: writing sample for a specific topic (for Dr. entrance

Now , I am preparing 2011 Dr. entrance exam.

I planed to practise the english writing.


here is the topic , about 250 words:

What is the most important property in one’s life? Responsibility , honesty or others.



If anyone could write a writing sample or just write a piece of words about the topic, I will be very appreciated.

Thanks.

below is mine

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nowadays, social competition is becoming increasingly intense with the development of society. And people have to face more and more challenges. In this situation, what kind of property people should obtain has been becoming significantly important.

Some people believe responsibility is the most important property. Firstly, the pace of life is becoming increasingly fast. Every day we have a large number of things to do. If we lack the responsibility, it is hard to imagine what the society will become. Secondly, only if we have responsibility, we can make our society safer and more beautiful. There are many scenes where we need responsibility, e.g. building a happy family, raising a happy child , and so on. Last but not least, Responsibility can help us play good roles in life, e.g. to be a good father or a good student.

By contrast, some others argue honesty is the most important property. On the one hand, honesty is the basis of business. Almost all successful businessmen obtain this property. On the other hand, honesty helps to build good relationship between people and people.

In my opinion, both responsibility and honesty are important. Honesty is the basic property we should have, without which other properties will lose their base. Responsibility is one of the most important properties. It helps the society to become safer and more efficient.

[ Last edited by idance on 2011-2-10 at 10:23 ]
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1楼2011-02-10 00:16:57
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ashen1944

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idance(金币+5): thanks for your advice 2011-02-10 22:16:52
Nowadays,  people have to face more and more challenges because increasingly social competition due to the development of society. In this situation, what  property   should be  obtained has been  significantly important for people .
Some people believe responsibility is the most important property. Firstly, the pace of life is becoming increasingly fast,  people have a large number of things must be done everyday. If people don't have responsibility, it is hard to imagine what the society will be. Secondly, only  we have responsibility,  can we make our society safer and more beautiful. There are many scenes where we need responsibility, e.g. building a happy family, raising a happy child , and so on. Last but not least, Responsibility can help us play good roles in life, e.g. to be a good father or a good student.

By contrast,  other people argue that honesty is the most important property. On the one hand, honesty is the basis of business. Almost all successful businessmen obtain this property. On the other hand, honesty helps to build good relationship among people .
In my opinion,  responsibility and honesty are as the same important. Honesty is the basic property we should have, without which other properties will lose their base. Responsibility is one of the most important properties. It helps the society to become safer and more efficient.
"i just do a little change to your writting on my own opinion for your cosideration, and i think you should recite some typical sentences and writtings "
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7楼2011-02-10 15:12:19
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slimcat

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idance(金币+5): thanks. 2011-02-10 22:16:40
What is the most important property in one’s life? Responsibility , honesty or others.

I think different people have different ideas about this. Which the most imprtant property is in your life not only depends on who you are, but also depends on who you will want to be. When it comes to me, the most important properties in my life are courage, perseverance, self-sufficiency.

When I live in a state of frustration, or I face some challenges in my life, I need courage and perseverance to give me power. Life is not always smooth,  courage and perseverance makes me be full of hope and never give up. Everyone is not perfection, I need courage and perseverance to accept the disadvantage of myselfe and improve myself.

What is the meaning of life? For me, the most imprtant thing is happiness. Happiness comes from the inner of ourselves. To be a self-sufficient man, which will makes me happy easily. Cherish what I have, and try my best to live a simple live. When I read a book, I will move by the story of it. When I walk in a wind, I will be happy because the fresh air I breath...

So, courage, perseverance  and self-sufficiency are the most important properties in my life.
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6楼2011-02-10 14:34:33
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