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yanglinast

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[交流] 【Pure water】The meaning of life

I just wrote some of my opinion in the emuch for the meaning of life. Actually, I have much to say, but cannot do it in such a short time. Now, it's late in the evening, after I got a phone call from my mother, I can't go to sleep anymore.

I thought about many things of the past. I know it's useless to think about the bygone days and the present is the most important, but, I can not control myself. Mom was crying over the phone, for the bad temper of my father. He was a good man, now I thought that might goes by. He could get angry easily and always shout to my mother. I fell so sorry for my Mum beloved, and I really wish I can be together with her, even though I know I could not to provide what she desires too, I promise I will talk to her always undertone.

She never went to school in her life. Whenever she sees some words, she would be sad for not knowing them. That's why she insisted to sent me to school and told me to study hard. She worked in the fields day after day when I was young, when the people who have formal jobs in the town went for walking, she was right on the way to the farm place. When it's dark she rode back home, more people were taking promenade on the side of the street. She was envious of that kind of life, hoping I could get a good job and live like that.

Now, I graduate from college, getting a job, ordinary but tallying with what she expected. I used to say to her I studied for her, which made her angry badly. I still remember the scene when she talked seriously to me about why she was so strict about my school study, though I didn't understand that time. I could now, after working for three years.

She always feels depressed. Every time when I call her she was happy and never let my brother tell me the unpleased things of her life. I could fell that, however.

Today, she said to me she was so failed for the whole life, can not to read, having only one daughter but living far away, bad tempered husband not magnanimous. She was so angry for her bluntness of learning. She is fifty-four now and complains me for the slowness in understanding and I really don't know how to help her. I know she wants to read and recite some of the Buddhism Classical text eagerly, but it's positively difficult. I cannot even to read it smoothly, how could a person without any education to read and recite it?

Sometimes, I thought I am the success of her. She is the most amazing one in most of our relatives because I am still the only college student until now, that she could not say her life was meaningless. But, It was me who beneficial from this and she still lives with much trouble.

So, what I am living for?

Now, I have a job, with not a big salary but enough for daily life. I have a husband with good quality and loves me much. Though, sometimes my old mother would get trouble and it's certainly my duty to cheer her up, rather than become anxious all the time!

Is that the meaning of my life? Mature enough to take responsibility for the parents becoming older and older. And most importantly, keeping optimism and happy will make my life more meaningful.

[ Last edited by yanglinast on 2011-1-11 at 00:58 ]

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[交流] 【Pure water】The meaning of life

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