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题目:ISSUE150 - "Because of television and worldwide computer connections, people can now become familiar with a great many places that they have never visited. As a result, tourism will soon become obsolete."
字数:484
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topic
1、旅游并不以简单的获取对某地的认识为目的,心理上的放松是其重要目的之一。
2、其次旅游中人与人的交流也是旅游的一个重要方面。
3、旅游中对人的意志、情趣、体力的磨练也是旅游的一个重要收获。
4、旅游对各方面的促进作用也是电视和网络不能替代的重要因素。
1. People can take a relaxation in physical and mental except acquiring knowledges by tourism.
2. Interaction within tourism is an important factor which it attracts people to take part in real tourism.
3. Shaping your mindness, enhancing your volition, even stengthening your physical situation would be gotten in real tourism but not in fictitious one by television and internet.
4. Accelerating local economy, promoting transportation's development and improving other economical factors is a realistic result within real tourism.
--------------------------------------------------

In order to be familar with a great many places that people have never visited, they can know it by television and worldwide computer connections. However, if you think it is the special target of tourism and then you assert that tourism will soon become obsolete, it is totally absurd.

Except acquiring knowledges by tourism, people can also take a relaxation in physical and mental while people hardly get these all in fictitious tourism by television and internet. Facing wide ocean, you would feel yourself so tiny against it. Can you image you own the same feeling when you face a picture of wide ocean in a limited screen of television or computer? Of course not. Standing on the peak of a mountain, you would not be bothered with the complexities of life. But you will worry about your checks when you watch a tourism program of a famous mountain in television. How can we arbitrarily asserts tourism will soon become obsolete?

Interaction with friends in tourism is an important factor which it attracts people to take part in real tourism, but people could seldom have the same interaction with a ficticious tourism by television and internet. Even a single people tours lonely, he or she cannot avoid the interaction with other tourists or local residents in his or her way. The interaction with other people is an important memory in tourism for tourists. But you could be alone all the time when you watch tourism program in television or browse in internet. How can we share rich feelings in our tourism when we face an icy screen?

Moreover, shaping your mindness, enhancing your volition, even strengthening your physical situations could be gotten in a real tourism but hardly in a fictitious one by television and internet. If we give up the real tourism, we would be lost more chances to getting these all. You could follow with other mindness about a great place in television, feel drowsy facing a tasteless tourism program, and lose your shape for your sedentary situation. How can we bear that tourism is far from our life?

Last but not the least, accelerating local economy, promoting transportation's development, and improving other economical factors is realistic results within real tourism. Although some progress of economy could be attributed to tourism program in television and website in internet, it is just an additional factor to the whole tourism economy. For instance, entrance fee in a famous place is always more expensive than monthly fee in television or internet. Obviously, it would not be economical to the whole society if tourism disappear in any reasons.

In sum, considering many factors, such as relaxation in physical and mental, interaction with peoples, shaping mindness and figure, and promoting the economy, tourism will not become obsolete, although people can easily become familiar with anywhere that they have never visited by television and worldwide computer connections.
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题目:ISSUE150 - "Because of television and worldwide computer connections, people can now become familiar with a great many places that they have never visited. As a result, tourism will soon become obsolete."
字数:484
由于电视和全球范围内的计算机网络,人们现在可以熟悉很多以前从未涉足过的地方。其结果就是使得旅游变的过时了。
技术进步对人类社会的影响之旅游
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topic Position: disagree

1、旅游并不以简单的获取对某地的认识为目的,心理上的放松是其重要目的之一。
2、其次旅游中人与人的交流也是旅游的一个重要方面。
3、旅游中对人的意志、情趣、体力的磨练也是旅游的一个重要收获。
4、旅游对各方面的促进作用也是电视和网络不能替代的重要因素。
1. People can take a relaxation in physical and mental except acquiring knowledge(knowledge是不可数名词) by tourism.
2. Interaction within tourism is an important factor which it attracts people to take part in real tourism.
3. Shaping your mindness, enhancing your volition, even strengthening (注意单词拼写等小错误)your physical situation would be gotten in real tourism but not in fictitious one by television and internet.
4. Accelerating local economy, promoting transportation's development and improving other economical factors is a realistic result within real tourism.
--------------------------------------------------

In order to be familiar(单词拼写) with a great many places that people have never visited, they can know it by television and worldwide computer connections. However, if you think it is the special target of tourism and then you assert that tourism will soon become obsolete, it is totally absurd.

Except acquiring knowledge(不可数) by tourism, people can also take a relaxation in physical and mental while people hardly get these all in fictitious tourism by television and internet. Facing Wide Ocean, you would feel yourself so tiny against it. Can you image you own the same feeling when you face a picture of wide ocean in a limited screen of television or computer? Of course not.(口语用在文章里不太好吧) Standing on the peak of a mountain, you would not be bothered with the complexities of life. But you will worry about your checks when you watch a tourism program of a famous mountain in television. How can we arbitrarily assert(注意时态问题) tourism will soon become obsolete?(建议最好不用问话结尾,显得段落不完整,论证缺乏支持)

Interaction with friends in tourism is an important factor which it attracts people to take part in real tourism, but people could seldom have the same interaction with a fictitious(单词拼写) tourism by television and internet. Even a single people tours lonely, he or she cannot avoid the interaction with other tourists or local residents in his or her way. The interaction with other people is an important memory in tourism for tourists. But you could be alone all the time when you watch tourism program in television or browse in Internet. How can we share rich feelings in our tourism when we face an icy screen? (建议最好不用问话结尾,显得段落不完整,论证缺乏支持)

Moreover, shaping your mindness, enhancing your volition, even strengthening your physical situations could be gotten in a real tourism but hardly in a fictitious one by television and internet. If we give up the real tourism, we would be lost more chances to getting these all. You could follow with other mindness about a great place in television, feel drowsy facing a tasteless tourism program, and lose your shape for your sedentary situation. How can we bear that tourism is far from our life? (建议最好不用问话结尾,显得段落不完整,论证缺乏支持)


Last but not the least, accelerating local economy, promoting transportation's development, and improving other economical factors is realistic results within real tourism. Although some progress of economy could be attributed to tourism program in television and website in internet, it is just an additional factor to the whole tourism economy. For instance, entrance fee in a famous place is always more expensive than monthly fee in television or Internet. Obviously, it would not be economical to the whole society if tourism disappears(注意时态) in any reasons.

In sum, considering many factors, such as relaxation in physical and mental, interaction with peoples, shaping mindness and figure, and promoting the economy, tourism will not become obsolete, although people can easily become familiar with anywhere that they have never visited by television and worldwide computer connections.
(开头段,跟结尾段照应的很好,写的不错,比我那篇,逻辑上要清晰不少,值得借鉴)
星聚正在长漂亮的羽毛
2楼2006-07-12 14:46:58
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