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torino

金虫 (小有名气)

[交流] issue167 距离考试一个月,第一篇,恳请指点!

TOPIC: ISSUE167 - "It is impossible for an effective political leader to tell the truth all the time. Complete honesty is not a useful virtue for a politician."
WORDS: 478          TIME: 1:43:31          DATE: 2006-7-6

Complete honesty is not a useful virtue for a politician. I fundamentally agree with the speaker's assertion that under some circumstance, a sagacious politician should withhold some truth from public, because complete forthrightness might resulted in vulnerability to both the politician and the citizen.  Regarding the long-term, however, it is important that the politician maintain honesty.

To begin with, one reason for my fundamental agreement with the speaker is that in order to protect the security of the country the politician should conceal the top secret. After all, it is responsible and even desirable ways to sustain the national security. Consider, when the politician public the details of the plans of anti-terrorism, which can say the politician is complete honesty, those terrorism will use this information against the action. As a result the politician would not earn respect among both the terrorism and the citizen. Another example shedding light on this point of view, involves a Mayor who receive an earthshaking alert, he or she keep the secrecy, for the alert is still under assurance. If the alert is published by the Mayor, perhaps the majority of the citizen would be in panic and even chaos, which would cause much losing of residents. Therefore, in this sense, it is not effective for a politician to tell all the truth all the time.

In addition, another reason why I essentially concur with the speaker is that , in fact, the citizen do not expect the effective politician to be a perfect person. Generally, the politician would earn respect who take the national and public interest prior. When " the sexual scandal of President Clinton and Monica Lewinsky" broadcasted by media, Hardly did people deny the successful of Clinton on booming the economy of America, and helping America walk out recession. After these year, thereby, Clinton also earn the admiration from American. It is true that for an effective political leader do not need show all the truth in some sense.

Of course, for short-term, dishonesty maybe useful for the political leader maintain political power, however, for long-term, honesty is an indispensable virtue of effective politician, albeit they could not absolutely honest in some special conditions. Consider also less egregious examples, such as President Richard Nixon' s Watergate affair who held the truth. His behavior demonstrated a concern for self-interest above the broader interests of the democratic system that granted his political authority in the first place. Ultimately, he forfeit his leadership. On the contrary, It is the virtue of honest that made Gandhi, Martin Luther King and Mother Teresa earn both respect and advocate. Therefore, honesty is extremely importance for the politician to hold effective leadership.

In sum, from what have been discussed, I basically agree with the speaker’s statement. Nevertheless, the speaker fail to recognize that without integrity the political leader could not serve a long-term effective leadership.
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hummer

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TOPIC: ISSUE167 - "It is impossible for an effective political leader to tell the truth all the time. Complete honesty is not a useful virtue for a politician."
WORDS: 478          TIME: 1:43:31          DATE: 2006-7-6
对于一个英明的政治领导者来说,总是坦白是不可能的。彻底的诚实对于一个政治家来说是无用的美德。
属于:领导者问题
提纲呢?建议下次再贴作文把提纲也贴上面
POSITION:PARTAGREE

Complete honesty is not a useful virtue for a politician. I fundamentally agree(你的文章的position是part agree 所以这句话用fundamentally 来修饰不是很恰当) with the speaker's assertion that under some circumstance, a sagacious politician should withhold some truth from public, because complete forthrightness might result (resulted删) in vulnerability to both the politician and the citizen.  Regarding the long-term, however, it is important that the politician maintain honesty.

To begin with, (one reason for my fundamental agreement with the speaker is that删) in order to protect the security of the country the politician should conceal the top secret. After all, it is responsible and even desirable ways to sustain the national security. (此句放在这里不是很合适建议挪到后面再说)Consider, when the politician public the details of the plans of anti-terrorism, which can say the politician is complete honesty, those terrorism will use this information against the action. As a result the politician would not earn respect among both the terrorism and the citizen(为什么还要赢得 terrorism的尊重?). Another example shedding light on this point of view, involves a Mayor who receive an earthshaking alert, he or she keep the secrecy, for the alert is still under assurance. If the alert is published by the Mayor, perhaps the majority of the citizen would be in panic and even chaos, which would cause much losing of residents. (这个例子明显的缺乏说服力)Therefore, in this sense, it is not effective for a politician to tell all the truth all the time.

In addition, another reason why I essentially concur with the speaker is that, (注意标点等低级错误,超过三次的话会被扣分)in fact, the citizen do not expect the effective politician to be a perfect person. Generally, the politician would earn respect that( who删) take the national and public interest prior. When " the sexual scandal of President Clinton and Monica Lewinsky" broadcasted by media, hardly did people deny the successful of Clinton on booming the economy of America, and helping America walk out recession. After these years(注意单复数), thereby, Clinton also earn the admiration from American. It is true that for an effective political leader do not need show all the truth in some sense. (丑文例子是否太过牵强呢?)
Of course, for short-term, dishonesty maybe useful for the political leader maintain political power, however, for long-term, honesty is an indispensable virtue of effective politician, albeit they could not absolutely honest in some special conditions. Consider also less egregious examples, such as President Richard Nixon' s Watergate affair that( who删) held the truth. His behavior demonstrated a concern for self-interest above the broader interests of the democratic system that granted his political authority in the first place. Ultimately, he forfeits his leadership. On the contrary, it is the virtue of honest that made Gandhi, Martin Luther King and Mother Teresa earn both respect and advocate. Therefore, honesty is extremely importance for the politician to hold effective leadership.

In sum, from what have been discussed, I basically agree with the speaker’s statement. Nevertheless, the speaker fail to recognize that without integrity the political leader could not serve a long-term effective leadership.(最后结尾没有跟你的开头照应,全文表达的position与你的开头不符合,还有要注意每段的主题句。)
星聚正在长漂亮的羽毛
2楼2006-07-07 10:22:32
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torino

金虫 (小有名气)

多谢您的修改~~

看了您的修改才发现自己在开头结尾,以及在正文回应上不能很好的对应,我以后会多注意这方面问题的。其实标点符号我确实有时候不太清楚具体该怎么用HOHO~~~,还有就是例子对TS的回应上我也是考虑不足,主要是例子缺乏,另外即使有了例子以后对如何使用上也还是需要练习,好在还有一个月,我相信再接下来的一个月我应该会有提高的。再次感谢您的批改~~!
3楼2006-07-08 01:08:12
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