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william98

铁虫 (初入文坛)

[交流] 跟着斑竹写作文-Issue 120

Issue 120 So much is new and complex today that looking back for an understanding of the past provides little guidance for living in the present.
现在的生活日新月异,对过去的研究学习没有实际的指导意义

提纲
1. 历史起到提供榜样楷模的作用
2. 历史的作用还在于:用过去的经验避免错误
3. 尽管现在的社会日新月异,但大都是表面现象,内在根源仍然是不变的,因此历史仍然有很重要的指导作用

The world is not static as time passes by and everything changes ceaselessly. As refers to the learning of the past, people may consider it useless on solving the new and complex problems today, since almost everything appears today is different from the past. This arbitrary assertion, however, neglect the true value lies beneath history.

The most obvious function of history is to provide us with role models: for individuals or for groups of people. History is full of such paragons: those who failed and failed again never gave up their beliefs and strive perservantly to attain success finally; those who suffered from distress never being superior to hardships and eventually came up in virtue of their ability and wisdom…The experiences those predecessors had gained and the spiritual virtues of them are like invisible fortunes for us today. We may face with more complex difficulties than them, and what’s more the background is no longer the same as in the past, but the utensils that we need such as diligency and courage never changed and will keep unchangeably forever.

Another important effect of history is to offer lessons and experiences for us to learn. Take war for instance, nations and nations often battled for limited resources or territory problems which caused many serious aftermaths. Gradually, UN emerged for solving such problems and nations also learnt to manage solve the problems with other nations by other means such as parleys and establishing related stipulations. These lessons we draw form history can help avoid frightful calamities or other kind of mistakes. History may not tell us what to do, but can give us precious guidance about what not to do.

Besides, even the world changes and is not the same as in the past, the value of history is not faded at all. Seemingly changes are on the surface dazzling which make the situation seems to be more new and complex. Nevertheless we should not ignore the truth that what causes such complex situations is always stubborn and hide in the superficies. Just think about crimes, the ways of stealing and robbery become more and more complex due to the inventions of new tools, such as “electronic crimes” by virtue of computers and internet. But the true reason that causes such phenomena is still the bad side of human’s nature: dishonesty, vanity, idleness, avarice and so on. Thus it is easy to understand that our legislation and law-enforcement agencies all gain much from history. Undeniable, every promulgation and amendment of law condenses the lessons and experiences from history. And this happens to nearly every aspect of the society, like wars or competitions between business companies or nations are becoming more and more complicated and confusing, but Sun Tzu’s Art of War, which was completed thousands of years ago, still works because it concerns about the essence not the superficies.

History can not provide us with the panacea to solve every problem we encounter today. But it is unadvisable to allege that understanding of the past provides little guidance for living in the present because things and conditions are becoming new and complex today. Learning and understanding of the past, considering about its intrinsic value, is and will be the beacon of today and of future.
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ccclln

木虫 (小有名气)

1

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hummer(金币+5):good
Issue 120 So much is new and complex today that looking back for an understanding of the past provides little guidance for living in the present.
现在的生活日新月异,对过去的研究学习没有实际的指导意义

提纲:
1. 历史起到提供榜样楷模的作用
2. 历史的作用还在于:用过去的经验避免错误
3. 尽管现在的社会日新月异,但大都是表面现象,内在根源仍然是不变的,因此历史仍然有很重要的指导作用

The world is not static as time passes by and everything changes ceaselessly. As refers to the learning of the past, people may consider it useless on solving the new and complex problems today, since almost everything appears today is different from the past. This arbitrary assertion, however, neglect [neglects] the true value lies beneath history.

The most obvious function of history is to provide us with role models: for individuals or for groups of people. History is full of such paragons: those who failed and failed again never gave up their beliefs and strive perservantly to attain success finally; those who suffered from distress never being superior to hardships and eventually came up in virtue of their ability and wisdom…The experiences those predecessors had gained and the spiritual virtues of them are like invisible fortunes [intangible assets 无形资产,金融专业英语] for us today. We may face with more complex difficulties than them, and what’ s more the background is no longer the same as in the past, but the utensils that we need such as diligency [是diligence] and courage never changed and will keep unchangeably forever.
现在遇到的问题,与过去是一样的,用过去的方法,可以直接解决现在的问题。主题句不明确

Another important effect of history is to offer lessons and experiences for us to learn. Take war for instance, nations and nations often battled for limited resources or territory problems which caused many serious aftermaths. Gradually, UN emerged for solving such problems and nations also learnt to manage solve [solving 或者去掉manage] the problems with other nations by other means such as parleys and establishing related stipulations. These lessons we draw form history can help avoid frightful calamities or other kind of mistakes. History may not tell us what to do, but can give us precious guidance about what not to do.
即使有变化,利用过去的经验也可以解决问题

Besides, even [even though] the world changes and is not the same [the same换成similar?] as in the past, the value of history is not faded at all. Seemingly changes are on the surface dazzling which make the situation seems to be more new and complex. Nevertheless we should not ignore the truth that what causes such complex situations is always stubborn and hide in the superficies. Just think about crimes, the ways of stealing and robbery become more and more complex due to the inventions of new tools, such as “electronic crimes” by virtue of computers and internet. But the true reason that causes such phenomena is still the bad side of human’s nature: dishonesty, vanity, idleness, avarice and so on. Thus it is easy to understand that our legislation and law-enforcement agencies all gain much from history. Undeniable, every promulgation and amendment of law condenses the lessons and experiences from history. And this happens to nearly every aspect of the society, like wars or competitions between business companies or nations are becoming more and more complicated and confusing, but Sun Tzu’s Art of War, which was completed thousands of years ago, still works because it concerns about the essence [加个but] not the superficies.
实际上,很多东西内在的因素决定了尽管这些问题所表现出来的都是不一样的,但是由于内在因素的原因,在研究历史的过程中还是可以得到类似的解决办法的

History can not provide us with the panacea to solve every problem we encounter today. But it is unadvisable to allege that understanding of the past provides little guidance for living in the present because things and conditions are becoming new and complex today. Learning and understanding of the past, considering about its intrinsic value, is and will be the beacon of today and of future.

[ Last edited by ccclln on 2006-7-6 at 00:21 ]
3楼2006-07-06 00:02:29
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hummer

荣誉版主 (职业作家)

人美在羽毛,鸟美在心灵

优秀版主

提纲:Position: Disagree
1. 历史起到提供榜样楷模的作用
2. 历史的作用还在于:用过去的经验避免错误
3. 尽管现在的社会日新月异,但大都是表面现象,内在根源仍然是不变的,因此历史仍然有很重要的指导作用
  (建议下次写提纲用英文)
The world is not static as time passes by and everything changes ceaselessly. As refers to the learning of the past, people may consider it useless on solving the new and complex problems today, since almost everything appears today is different from the past. This arbitrary assertion, however, neglect the true value lies beneath history.(字字珠玑的好开头啊,看了六边,应该是可以得满分的开头了)

The most obvious function of history is to provide us with role models: for individuals or for groups of people. History is full of such paragons:(举例子的说法也比传统的for example 等新颖好多) those who failed and failed again never gave up their beliefs and strive perservantly(拼写错误)attain success finally; Those who suffered from distress never being superior to hardships and eventually came up in virtue of their ability and wisdom. (标点)The experiences those predecessors had gained and the spiritual virtues of them are like invisible fortunes for us today. We may face with more complex difficulties than them, and what’s more the background is no longer the same as in the past, but the utensils that we need such as diligency and courage never changed and will keep unchangeably forever. (第一句话作为主题句的话,稍欠明确)

Another important effect of history is to offer lessons and experiences for us to learn. (上段提到的关于experiences的部分建议挪到这段,以对应这段的主题句)Take war for instance, nations and nations often battled for limited resources or territory problems which caused many serious aftermaths. Gradually, UN emerged for solving such problems and nations also learnt to manage solve the problems with other nations by other means such as parleys and establishing related stipulations. These lessons we draw form history can help avoid frightful calamities or other kind of mistakes. History may not tell us what to do, but can give us precious guidance about what not to do.

Besides, even the world changes and is not the same as in the past;(注意标点) the value of history is not faded at all. Seemingly changes are on the surface dazzling which make the situation seems to be more new and complex. Nevertheless we should not ignore the truth that what causes such complex situations are(is 删 always stubborn and hide in the superficies. Just think about crimes, the ways of stealing and robbery become more and more complex due to the inventions of new tools, such as “electronic crimes” by virtue of computers and internet. But the true reason that causes such phenomena is still the bad side of human’s nature: dishonesty, vanity, idleness, avarice and so on. Thus it is easy to understand that our legislation and law-enforcement agencies all gain much from history. Undeniable, every promulgation and amendment of law condenses the lessons and experiences from history. And this happens to nearly every aspect of the society, like wars or competitions between business companies or nations are becoming more and more complicated and confusing, but Sun Tzu’s Art of War, which was completed thousands of years ago, still works because it concerns about the essence not the superficies.

History cannot provide us with the panacea to solve every problem we encounter today. But it is unadvisable to allege that understanding of the past provides little guidance for living in the present which(because删) things and conditions are becoming new and complex (today删).Learning and understanding of the past, considering about its intrinsic value (, is and删,直接用will be比较好)will be the beacon of today and of future.(最后你的结尾,因为你整片文章的立场是disagree,所以最后一段的第一句话放在这里不很恰当,建议删去结尾段第一句)


功底很深厚,语言很好,应该是5.5分以上的作文了

后附word下载版本
星聚正在长漂亮的羽毛
2楼2006-07-05 23:42:37
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