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poyoro木虫 (文坛精英)
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【HELP】help...revise the composition for me ....THANKS
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The Art of Love Love is a splendid wonder. Without love, man is like dry wood.Surely we get love all the time,for it is so much of love which abounds our world. We born in a wonderful family, our parents are the ones who show us with unconditional love and care. Like seeding,whose growth until their root are spread against the ground, we healthy growth only as under family’s love. At every stage of life, we get love ----and enjoy in the process. We enter schools and step into the social, we meet many people. Though we are unfamiliar to each other, we express our friendship to others. Embrance each person,seize each smile. As the sun emeraged from horizon, sunlight hit us,we get the love from sunshine. As the moon appear in the darkness night, we bathed in moonlight, we get the love from moonlight. In the crowd,in the street, in the field, around the house, in the woods,love is in the air. We can all sense it. While only those who know how to love,will receive the love. The type of love is reciprocal giving, each receives love with joy and give it without effort. We say:Love not so much gain as pay. Therefore,if you desire love,try to realize that the only way to get love is by giving love,that the more you give,the more you get. Love is a art ,knows love and to be loved will make all difference in our life. [ Last edited by poyoro on 2010-10-24 at 18:06 ] |
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7楼2010-10-25 08:32:14
cuishao_小
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what..............
2楼2010-10-24 18:02:44
xia_chong
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poyoro(金币+10):moving :tiger06: 2010-10-24 19:23:31
poyoro(金币+6): 2011-03-23 00:09:57
poyoro(金币+6): 2011-03-23 00:09:57
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The Art of Love Love is a splendid wonder. Without love, man is like dry wood.(I don't like this metaphor.) Surely we enjoy love all the time,for it is the love in which our world abounds. We were born in a wonderful family.(We need a period in the end of each sentence.) Our parents show us unconditional love and care. Like seeding,whose growth until their root are spread against the ground,( What do you mean? ) we grow up healthily with family’s love. At every stage of life, we get love and enjoy it. When we go to school and step into the society( social is adj.), we meet many people. Though we are unfamiliar with each other, we express our friendliness (friendliness is better) to each other. Embrance each person; smile at each person.(Two verbs mean two sentences. You can use ";" to connect two sentences.) As the sun rises (rise is better) from the horizon with sunshine touching us, we get the love from sun. As the moon appears in the dark night with moonlight around us, we get the love from moon. In the crowd, on the street, in the field, in the woods, love is everywhere.(You could choose other places belonging to one class.) We all can sense it. Only those who know how to love will receive the love. Love is to give rather than to recieve. You may not gain as much love as you give. Therefore, the only way to get love is by giving love, and the more you give,the more you receive. Love is an art. A little bit of love will make a big difference in our life. Tips: 1) Remember that each sentence contains only one verb. Therefore, don't put many verbs into one sentence. Many people don't know it is wrong. 2) Do not put verb in the front of the sentence unless you are reminding or warning the readers of something. 3) Use simple words and simple sentences! Complicated words or sentences won't make your composition beautiful unless you KNOW how to use them. I always like to use simple words and simple sentences. [ Last edited by xia_chong on 2010-10-24 at 19:04 ] |
5楼2010-10-24 19:02:54
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